FINAL UPDATE – Am I wrong for sending my ex’s wife the screenshots he send me?

When an ex‑husband offers you a binary choice between your maternal rights and his new marriage, you realize just how fraught co‑parenting can become. In this final showdown, the OP confronts her ex’s absurd proposal: surrender custody entirely or he will relinquish all contact.

Rather than capitulate, she challenges him to choose—his daughter or his second wife. After heated back‑and‑forth, he stumbles to fix a fair compromise: alternating weekends. The OP emerges confident, knowing her daughter’s smile remains uninterrupted.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, update

‘FINAL UPDATE – Am I wrong for sending my ex’s wife the screenshots he send me?’

This will be my last update. Unless anything big comes up. My ex and I had a chat. He and his wife talked about the visitations. He kept saying that his wife has a problem with my daughter because she thinks having any connection to his past like aka me, my daughter is not good for their marriage. After some negotiation he presented 2 choices. One of which I threw out the window of how ridiculous it is.

1. He takes full custody of the our child and I only see her once a month. It would be better if I just gave up my maternal rights. I swear if hitting people wasn't illegal I would have but I laughed at his face and said that's never going to happen. If he tries anything I will drag him to court.

2. He gives up his rights as a father. I simply asked him will he ever be able to live with himself if he does that? Does he think our daughter will not know in future? It was just him rambling it is just too difficult for him to choose. I cannot believe that choosing your own daughter is so difficult for him.

He said he loves our daughter but he has a life outside of being just a father (fair), but he also loves his wife and cannot upset her. I told him to think about it and give me an answer. Does he prioritize a coochie over his own daughter? I called him a delusional c**ard because he cannot even put his foot down and fight for his daughter.

All he had to do is say no, if he loves his daughter. Instead he wants me to put my foot down and take the load of his crap. I told him unless he decides what he wants to do I will keep sticking to my plan unless I hear anything wrong that is being done to my daughter. That insufferable man was accusing me of breaking up his marriage.

Because if I hadn't send those screenshots then his wife wouldn't have demanded this thing from him. I told him he shouldn't have send me those messages and harassed me. He is lucky I didn't report him. So, a lot of back an forth and he finally decided, he wants to see our daughter every other weekend.

I mean, his decision. I know he is not happy but he wants to make his second marriage work so desperately that he is willing to cut short time with his own daughter. I guess he finally put his foot down for once. As for me, I am happy the way things are.

I have a wonderful daughter, a house, a new man, possibly step-kids if we ever tie the knot. My ex's problems are not my problem. I will not push him to be a good father. That's something he has to do on his own. Adios.

Navigating extreme custody negotiations requires both emotional resilience and legal savvy. Family law experts stress that any proposal to strip a parent of their rights without sound cause is not only unethical but likely unenforceable without court intervention. A parent cannot waive their rights simply to appease a spouse; custody modifications must be approved by a judge in the child’s best interest.

Psychologists note that children thrive on consistency. Abrupt, dramatic shifts—such as reducing maternal time to once a month—can inflict long‑term emotional harm. Maintaining regular, predictable contact supports secure attachment and reduces anxiety. Even if parents clash, prioritizing the child’s emotional needs fosters stability and healthy development.

Effective resolution often combines mediation with legal oversight. A neutral mediator can guide both parties toward a balanced schedule, while formalizing the agreement in family court safeguards against future reneging. Research shows that when parents commit to structured, legally binding visitation plans, conflict decreases and children benefit from clear expectations.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Redditors weighed in with their signature blend of empathy and blunt humor:

tonidh69 − What a douchebag. How the hell will he explain this to his daughter? Again, what a c**ard.

Orphan_Izzy − Any woman who steals somebody’s husband (with help from the husband, of course), and then asks him to disown his own child so that she can start a brand new life with him unburdened by the human ball and chain that is his very own progeny is a very sick person and not somebody I would ever want to be around.

There’s something very very evil and broken about that kind of an attitude. If you don’t want a partner with children, don’t be with that person. That kind of an ask is beyond the scope of unreasonable, and exists in another cold cosmic galaxy.

Duckr74 − Prioritize cootchie lmao

SnooWords4839 − Ugh, your ex is a POS. Make sure to adjust child support with him taking her less.. Even if he signs away his rights, he still has to pay child support.

bokatan778 − I’m am sorry that your ex and his wife are horrible, insecure people.

MmeXL − Make sure you revisit child support with his reduced time with her. That should directly correspond to an increase in support payments.

jacksonlove3 − Wow, what a complete j**off!! Glad he’s not your problem anymore other than when it comes to your daughter! And she deserves better!! I have a feeling this may not be your last update because his wife isn’t going to let this go.. But him and her deserve each other. They’re both incredibly selfish and disgusting people!. Good luck!

the_pungence − Get every single aspect of your new agreement on writing, if he decides to nor give her back one weekend or take her on a surprise vacation or something you need as much of a paper trail as possible. This mf really said “it would be best if you gave up your rights as a mother,” are you f**king kidding me

HyenaShot8896 − Who wants to start a bet on how long until he cheats on wife number 2?

[Reddit User] − Please tell me he pays child support!
Some hot takes—but do they capture the complexity of parental sacrifice and legal realities?

The OP’s final stance sends a clear message: no one—neither ex nor new spouse—can bargain away a parent’s bond with their child. While love and marriage evolve, parental responsibility remains constant. What boundaries would you set if faced with an ultimatum between your child and someone else’s feelings? Share your strategies and experiences below.

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