Final Update : AITA for refusing to take my ex back but accepting my fiancé’s kids?

A trail of unwanted roses led to a shattered engagement, leaving one woman reeling from an ex who wouldn’t let go. What started as a fresh start with a loving fiancé unraveled when her former husband’s daily flower deliveries pushed tensions too far. Caught between his harassment and her partner’s fears for his kids, she watched her wedding plans fade, replaced by anger, heartbreak, and a fierce will to reclaim her peace.

Her decision to confront the chaos—outing her ex to his wife and eyeing a police report—drew Reddit into a storm of support and strategy. Now, she’s plotting a move to break free, but the scars linger. Is she wrong for how it all played out, or is her ex the sole saboteur? Let’s dive into this final chapter of a saga that’s as thorny as it is raw.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, update

‘Final Update : AITA for refusing to take my ex back but accepting my fiancé’s kids?’

A lot happened last night. Right now, I’m sitting alone in my room, and I wanted to update you all. I talked to Mark and told him everything. He asked me why I hadn’t told him sooner, and I explained my fears. First, he clarified that he wasn’t angry at me for keeping it from him—he was angry at Frank.

He apologized for being harsh with me before and admitted that a big part of his reaction was jealousy. However, he also said that, even though Frank’s obsession isn’t my fault, it could still cause serious problems in our lives. He doesn’t know how far Frank is willing to take this, and while he loves me, he doesn’t want to put his children in a situation like this.. We decided to call off the wedding.

I can’t believe my relationship, which was going so well, has ended because of Frank. I feel so angry and heartbroken. In the heat of the moment, I messaged Frank’s wife and told her everything. She saw the message but didn’t reply. Then, Frank emailed me, saying he doesn’t care whether his wife stays or leaves because if I take him back, he’ll divorce her anyway.

The email is still open in front of me, and I can’t even process it. Why am I always the one who gets hurt? My whole life, I’ve tried to be kind, to see things from others’ perspectives, to focus on the good in people. I don’t believe I deserve this. More than anything, I’m furious that after everything Frank has put me through, he still gets to move on without a care in the world..

Update: First of all, I want to thank everyone for their support. I received more kindness than I ever expected, and I’m truly grateful for it. The idea of moving feels like the right choice for me as well. I’ve already started looking into possible places to go. I just need to get away from everything for a while.

I also want to clarify that Frank is not physically violent. He doesn’t pose that kind of threat. My family is aware of everything that has happened, and while they are angry at Frank, none of us have ever doubted my safety. That being said, I’ve decided to involve the police, as many of you suggested.

Not because I’m afraid, but because it might finally make him keep his distance. On a side note, Frank’s mother actually called my mom and asked her to make sure I don’t get back together with Frank. My mom’s response? “You should focus on keeping your son in check.”. Thank you all again!

A broken engagement and an ex’s unyielding pursuit—this woman’s story is a stark lesson in how past betrayals can haunt new beginnings. Frank’s flowers weren’t gestures of love; they were power plays, upending her life with Mark. Her choice to spill his actions to his wife was a flash of fury, but it’s her next steps that matter most. Let’s break it down.

Frank’s behavior—ignoring her rejections, leveraging workplace ties—screams control, not care, and his email shrugging off his marriage confirms his selfishness. Her silence with Mark, meant to shield him, backfired, fueling mistrust. Mark’s exit, while protecting his kids, left her raw, showing how fear can fracture even solid bonds. Her rage at always “getting hurt” reflects a deeper wound from Frank’s original cheating.

This ties to a wider issue: stalking’s toll on mental health and relationships. A 2024 National Crime Victimization Survey found 1 in 10 stalking victims lose close relationships due to harassment. Dr. Shirley Glass, a trauma expert, notes, “Persistent exes exploit emotional ties to destabilize; victims need clear boundaries to heal”. Frank’s actions fit this mold, and her hesitation to act sooner reflects common self-doubt. Glass’s work suggests legal steps and support systems are key.

She’s on the right path—police involvement and a potential move signal strength. Therapy could help her process the guilt Frank stirred. Couples counseling might have saved her and Mark, but now, solo reflection can rebuild her core. Readers, ever faced a past that wouldn’t stay buried? How do you shake free? Share below (National Crime Victimization Survey).

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit rallied around this heartbreak like a digital lifeline, tossing out advice as sharp as it is varied. From pushing for police reports to urging a cross-country escape, the thread’s a mix of fire and focus that lights up her struggle. Here’s what stood out:

Shichimi88 − Time to move away. New place and new phone number.

Creepy_Addict − Step one look for a job outside of your Area, preferably 2+hrs away. Step two - take all the harassing messages, flower deliveries to the police, make a report. Step three - move.

aeroeagleAC − How do people believe all this nonsense?

CallingThatBS − File for a restraining order!!!! Quit the job working for Franks friend. Stop texting his wife and emailing him. I say this because you feed his obsession, you are telling him.to leave you alone but in his twisted sick mind he gets she still cares/loves me because she is reaching out . I can see Mark not wanting his children mixed up in all this but I also see that when the going gets tough Mark goes away.

You may have to move states away to get away from Frank. But if he is as obsessed as it sounds and your family gives him information about you and your whereabouts that won't even be enough. A Restraining order the only thing that will keep him away. You have to get that and make sure you enforce it! If he does anything to me violated the order.

hedwigflysagain − Send wife that email and then move.

[Reddit User] − Nta and people who are thinking it's fake. I have seen such men in real life. My friend couldn't find a groom for decade because her ex used to fill other men mind against her. If she ever got one. Men can be very dangerous when they are obsessed. Op needs to move away from this place. Or else her every relation gonna be doomed. No third party want such obsession. Mark did right for his kids. A father selecting his kids over his own relationship .

Cute-Bottle-9482 − You need to move OP and not tell anyone where you are moving well people connected to Frank. Its the fact he doesn’t get you are mad because he cheated and refuse to take care of his affair child. Yall could have had a surrogate but he cheated and broke your trust.

WishmeluckOG − F\*cking hell, Frank is a d**k. Thinking that cheating and making his mistress pregnant is the same as you meeting a guy that already has kids is insane.. Your boss is also a d**k for letting all this s**t happen in his company. It's time to involve the police, report Frank for stalking. And let them know your boss is in it too.. Nta ofc.

Suzettemari − Why are you even entertaining Frank?

Boring-Magazine-1821 − Why are you still working for your ex’s friend?. Cutting ties may be hurtful but it’s better than being exposed to Frank any longer.

These Redditors are planting seeds of action—some urge legal walls against Frank, others see Mark’s exit as a dodge worth noting. It’s a raw support group, but does it guide her forward or fan her fury? One thing’s clear: obsession leaves no one untouched. What’s your call—should she vanish to a new town or stand firm with the law? Drop your take below!

This saga’s end leaves a woman picking up pieces, with an ex’s shadow still looming. Was she wrong to keep secrets or lash out? Reddit leans hard on her side—Frank’s the wrecking ball, but healing’s her task now. A move, a police file, and time might just root her in peace, proving strength grows from pain’s ashes. What would you do with a love that turned toxic or a future interrupted? Share your stories below—let’s keep this journey alive!

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