Fiancée (29F) cheated on her bachelorette party. I (32M) am struggling to decide the next steps.

Jonathan Hours
Comments 1 Comment

A 32-year-old man was ready to marry the love of his life, until a single video changed everything. Just weeks before their wedding, his 29-year-old fiancée’s bachelorette pub crawl ended with her kissing another man, caught on camera by her own friends. Betrayed and humiliated, he’s now crashing at his sister’s, wrestling with love and heartbreak after canceling their big day. The trust they built over seven years lies in ruins, and he’s left questioning what comes next.

This Reddit story captures the raw pain of infidelity, sparked by a night meant to celebrate their future. The groom’s shock and his fiancée’s desperate apologies paint a messy picture of love tested by betrayal. As he dodges her texts and faces tough choices, readers can’t help but wonder: can a relationship survive such a wound, or is this the end of their story?

‘Fiancée (29F) cheated on her bachelorette party. I (32M) am struggling to decide the next steps.’

I'm sorry if this is just a bunch of rambling. I just need a place to write down everything that has happened and hopefully get some advice on what to do next. My fiancée (29F) and I(32M) have been together for about seven years now. We were supposed to get married next month. Before all of this happened, we had no issues with cheating, or any big fights.

This is the first time anything like this has happened between us. About two weeks ago, my fiancée approached me and asked me if I would be open to us having a bachelor's and a bachelorette party. This was something that made me really uncomfortable. Personally, I believe that these kinds of parties only serve to encourage infidelity before a couple gets married and that they aren't something I'd be interested in.

I expressed that to my fiancée, but she told me that if we did have them, they'd just be friends hanging out with us celebrating our future wedding and that we wouldn't have the stereotypical 'last night of freedom' kind of party. After talking for a bit, and establishing some boundaries, we agreed to have the parties on the same day, which happened to be this past Wednesday.

When Wednesday came around, my friends came over to our place for a game of DnD that was supposed to be themed around my character getting married, while my fiancée went out with her friends for a pub-crawl. I was having fun with my friends until about roughly three hours into our game when one of my fiancée's and I's mutual friends texted me and told me that we needed to talk.

Obviously I immediately became concerned and asked her what was going on, but she said that she didn't feel comfortable discussing over text and said that she'd rather speak to me in person. This really messed me up, and for the next hour, I couldn't really focus on anything else because I kept wondering what could possibly be so important that she wanted to come over and talk to me.

By the time she arrived, my friends and I had already wrapped things up, so I was just waiting for her to come. She came in and asked for us to sit down and talk, which is when she revealed to me that my fiancée used the party as an opportunity to cheat on me. I immediately felt like Mike Tyson had punched me in the chest.

This was exactly what I was afraid of when my fiancée first approached me about having these parties, and she assured me that was the furthest thing from her mind. Until then, I had no reason not to trust her, so I believed her. I felt so stupid for not seeing this coming. I asked my friend if she was sure of what happened, and she showed me a video of my fiancée kissing some guy at a bar.

Apparently this video was shared in a group chat that my fiancée and her friends were on to plan the party. I honestly don't know how I didn't break down crying when I was showed the video. I felt like I was going to throw up. There was the woman that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with kissing another man while her friends cheered her on.

This next part is my friend's recollection of the events that led up to the cheating, so I don't have a whole lot of details. Apparently, my fiancée's Maid of Honor spent the entire night complaining that I 'wouldn't let them have a traditional bachelorette party' and that I was 'too controlling and jealous'. My fiancée didn't push back on any of it, and just kept drinking and having her fun.

At some point, some of the women noticed that she had been getting attention from some of the men, which is when the MOH started to encourage her to flirt. My fiancée gave some weak resistance, but eventually she gave in and approached one of the guys at the bar. This is the point where our mutual friend became uncomfortable and left the party early.

But she was still in the group chat where the video was shared. I thanked my friend for telling me what happened, and asked her to forward me the evidence, along with anything else that might end up being shared with her. After she left was when I finally broke down crying. I then texted my fiancée, telling her that I knew the wedding was off.

Just a few minutes later my phone was flooded with text messages from her and her friends. They even tried adding me to the group chat where they shared the video of her kissing the other man. She got home about thirty minutes later. She was crying when she came in and begged me not to call off the wedding.

She was telling me that she was drunk and that she didn't know what came over her. She claimed that she didn't do anything other than kissing, and that she loved me. I stayed silent through all of her crying, which I think only made her more desperate. She kept saying how sorry she was, how it would never happen again, and how she would cut off all the friends that were at her party.

I told her that I didn't want to talk about what happened, and that the wedding was still off. I also told her that she could call her friends over and have the 'traditional' party she obviously wanted so much because I was leaving. This made her even more desperate and, I kid you not, made her try to block the door to prevent me from leaving.

I just stayed silent while packing my bag, then called my sister over and asked her if I could stay with her for a couple of days. I have now been at my sister's house for the last few days, calling friends and family to tell them that the wedding is off. I haven't told anyone other than my sister the reason. I just feel so humiliated.

My ex has been calling and texting me every day for the past two days. My sister has been offering me support, but I just don't know what to do next. I feel so lost. Despite everything that happened, I still love her. Should I hear my fiancée out? Should I tell people the reason the wedding is off? Is there any hope for reconciliation?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Betrayal at a bachelorette party cuts deep, exposing cracks in trust that can feel impossible to mend. This groom’s pain—fueled by a video of his fiancée kissing another man—reflects a breach not just of boundaries but of the shared vision for their future. Her weak resistance, egged on by friends, clashes with his clear discomfort about the party, highlighting a disconnect in values. Both sides ache: he’s humiliated, she’s remorseful, but intent matters less than impact here.

Infidelity before marriage isn’t rare—studies show 10-15% of engaged couples face it (soucre). The fiancée’s choice, fueled by alcohol and peer pressure, points to a broader issue: poor boundary-setting. Dr. Shirley Glass, a noted infidelity expert, said, “The first step in healing is acknowledging the full extent of the betrayal” (soucre). Her words ring true—his silence and her desperation show neither has fully processed the wound.

The groom’s instinct to pause the wedding is wise; rushing risks resentment. Reconciliation hinges on her accountability—cutting toxic friends is a start, but rebuilding trust requires consistent actions, not promises. Couples therapy could unpack her motives and his pain, but he must decide if love outweighs betrayal. Readers, how do you rebuild trust after such a public betrayal—or is it even possible?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out blunt advice and fiery takes with a dash of sarcasm. From urging transparency to slamming reconciliation, here’s the community’s pulse:

[Reddit User] − Tell everyone the reason why you broke up, because she might twist everything and make you look like the bad guy. Also, you shouldn't continue the relationship. You are not married yet, but she is already cheating, can you imagine what will happen if you get married?

fetgdry − Your finance didn’t tell you, so you can’t be sure of anything that she says she did not do, but the video which only captures a small part of their night is the objective truth.

Tell your parents and her parents and definitely separate yourself from the situation for now. She didn’t defend you and she wanted to have her fun at the expense of hiding things from you.. That’s not what you want in a long term partner

[Reddit User] − Don't listen to her cheating b**lshit. She showed you her true colors, how a lowly and disgusting human being she is. Tell everyone what happened and from now on you have to try and forget her and move on with your life.

Saying that it will be difficult to move on is an understatement, but after some time you'll realize that forgetting her is the best, spend time with friends and family and just take your time to heal.

ISD-444 − Should I hear my fiancée out?. No, ghost her forever.. Should I tell people the reason the wedding is off?. Yes, will help you move on.. Is there any hope for reconciliation?. No, focus on extracting her from your mind and life.

UncomfortableBike975 − Tell the world why. Don't let her write the narrative. Stick to it. She doesn't respect your relationship. Sorry this happened to you op.

sicrm − reconciling would be the biggest mistake of your life. She came in and asked for us to sit down and talk, which is when she revealed to me that my fiancée used the party as an opportunity to cheat on me. I immediately felt like Mike Tyson had punched me in the chest.

This was exactly what I was afraid of when my fiancée first approached me about having these parties, and she assured me that was the furthest thing from her mind. Until then, I had no reason not to trust her, so I believed her. I felt so stupid for not seeing this coming.

it was planned and she was going to hide it from you. taking her back just gives her an opportunity to make better plans in the future that don’t involve friends of hers who would tell you what’s going on.

[Reddit User] − End it brother. 29 years old and still giving in to peer pressure?. She approached the guy, not the other way around After approaching she allowed it to continue to the point where a kiss was initiated, which was probably a while considering her age.

Her and her friends are pushing 30, it’s not like she’s at some college bar where people instantly start making out, there was probably a decent amount of lead up Kissed long enough for one of the friends to pull their phone out, open the camera app, switch to video, and start filming. It’s never a mistake. It was a series of deliberate decisions

[Reddit User] − 'Before all of this happened, we had no issues with cheating'. That you know about.

avast2006 − Go ahead and tell them the reason, before she implants her version of the story in their brains first. You are not humiliated; you did nothing wrong; you are standing up for yourself. The one who is humiliated is the bride to be who just stupidly tossed her relationship in the shitter, publicly, and is now mortified to be losing everything.

[Reddit User] − Reconcile? Sure. I would always choose to marry a woman who celebrates our upcoming wedding by f**king around with random dudes. Recipe for marital bliss.. Sorry for your pain, and best of luck.

These opinions are spicy, but do they capture the full complexity of love tangled with betrayal, or are they too quick to judge?

This groom’s story is a stark reminder that love can falter under temptation, leaving hearts bruised and futures uncertain. His courage to pause the wedding speaks to self-respect, but the pull of seven years together lingers. Can trust be rebuilt, or is this betrayal a dealbreaker? Share your thoughts—what would you do if a partner’s party crossed the line, and how do you heal from such a public wound?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

One Comment

  1. Pingback: [UPDATE] Fiancée (29F) cheated on her bachelorette party. I (32M) am struggling to decide the next steps? - Movies & TV update: News, Reviews and Trending