Fiance going on vacation while I’m 8 months pregnant 23 F and 26m?

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At eight months pregnant, a woman’s world tilts when her fiancé reveals a week-long vacation planned by his mother, just as her due date looms. His casual assurance that a friend can step in if she goes into labor feels like a brush-off, stirring fears of abandonment

Readers sense her unease, pulled into a drama of trust and family ties, echoing conflicts like Man Plans Divorce After Wife’s Secret Surrogacy Decision.

‘Fiance going on vacation while I’m 8 months pregnant 23 F and 26m?’

23 F and 26 M My fiancés' mom secretly planned a 1 week

I asked if they're doing anything special, and he said just fishing and trails. He said if I give birth or if something happens, he is just going to call his friend. Am I overly controlling or paranoid? Tldr: fiance going to a week long trip because his mom wanted him to see family and I being too controlling? not feeling comfortable that he's going when I'm 8 months pregnant.

Her concern isn’t paranoia—it’s a rational response to a risky situation. At eight months, preterm labor is possible, with 10% of U.S. births occurring before 37 weeks, per the CDC. His mother’s secretive planning and his willingness to leave signal a deeper issue: enmeshment and misplaced loyalty. Let’s unpack this with expert insight.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a family therapist, notes, “When a partner prioritizes extended family over their immediate family’s needs, it undermines partnership.” The fiancé’s dismissal—relying on a friend and echoing his mother’s “let go, let God”—sidelines her vulnerability. Her perspective craves support; his suggests detachment, possibly shaped by his mother’s influence. A 2023 Journal of Family Psychology study found 55% of couples face strain when one partner fails to set boundaries with parents during major life transitions, like pregnancy.

This ties to a broader issue: navigating in-law dynamics during pregnancy. His mother’s power move risks setting a precedent for future interference. Dr. Heitler suggests a firm boundary: he must postpone the trip or risk signaling that his mother outranks his fiancée and child.

Advice: Communicate urgency. She should calmly outline the medical risks and emotional toll, asking him to cancel the trip. Couples counseling could help him untangle from his mother’s influence. If he goes, she should secure a support system—family or friends—for labor.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crowd roared in, blending outrage with tough love, like a family intervention on overdrive. Here’s what they said:

seidinove − You are not wrong. The fact that your future MiL *secretly* planned this vacation is worrisome, as if she doesn't want you being the center of attention at this key moment.

Active_Pooter − his mom is trying to downplay his obligation to you. she wants him to pick her over you. it's time to put your foot down and tell him he can't go. this would be make or break imo

gelseyd − Oh hellllllllll no. You do not leave your SO when there's the potential for an early birth and it's totally possible at 8 months. He should say no and she's a jerk for planning it. She should have planned a babymoon for y'all if she wanted to do something.

SnooWords4839 − Shine up your spine, she has now pulled a power move and you get to return the favor with your child.. Fiancé needs to learn his mom is enmeshed and a bully.. Ask him if he will always be a momma's boy or will he change once he is a father.

Quiet-Hamster6509 − I would honestly say to him, if you go on this and plan to just have your friend to attend if I give birth, don't bother coming back home - you can go back home with Mummy.

Illustrious_Leg_2537 − Ask him if he’s ok missing the birth if you go early. How far away will they be and how long would it take him to get back if you go into labor?

Dipping_My_Toes − If he goes forward with this trip, you need to seriously consider relocating while he is gone and leaving a note advising he'll get a chid support order after the birth. This is not someone who actually cares about you or will stand up for you as a partner and a father.

He's telling you that very clearly. The quote is very true:

Capable-Limit5249 − Years ago I read a story similar to this, including new baby. Hubs friend and wife ended up together. YNW.

shattered_kitkat − So, your EX is going on a vacation? Your EX really should learn priorities better. Maybe when you file for child support, your EX will learn that his child comes before mommy. Because you have enough on your hands with one child. You don't need to be raising him when he obviously is still attached to his mommy.

Beginning-Star-5835 − I had my first child at 38 weeks so it’s very possible. She may be trying to show she’s still more important in his life or it could even be a power play move. If he doesn’t put his foot down and refuse to go, it won’t get any better.

These fiery takes amplify her concerns but spark debate: is his mother the real issue, or is he failing as a partner?

Her fiancé’s vacation plan, orchestrated by his mother, tests their bond at a critical moment, leaving her to question his commitment as a partner and father. With birth looming, her fears highlight the stakes of trust and support. Have you faced a partner prioritizing family over you during a pivotal time? How did you navigate it? Drop your stories below and let’s unpack the messy truth of love, loyalty, and impending parenthood.

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