My response to my husband’s post “AITA for kicking my wife out after she punched my mom in the face?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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On a chilly evening marked by stark truths and raw emotion, a fractured family dynamic came sharply into focus. A long-suffering wife, overwhelmed by the constant barrage of abuse and betrayal, reached a critical juncture when a single, violent act shattered her lingering hope. The air was heavy with tension as what seemed to be a family quarrel spiraled into something far more harrowing and irreversible.

In a space where love once sought refuge, the clashing of wills left behind scars too deep to ignore. The pain of repeated neglect by the husband, coupled with the venomous behavior of his mother, set the stage for a moment of desperate self-defense. In this poignant and turbulent tale, the quest for dignity collides head-on with a deeply toxic environment.

‘My response to my husband’s post “AITA for kicking my wife out after she punched my mom in the face?’

I’m still grieving at the loss of my marriage, but my friend had notified me about my husband’s post that had too may specific details that were hard to ignore. To clarify, this is my first time on Reddit. I read my soon-to-be ex-husband’s post and wanted to give my side of the story and include details that he didn’t provide in his post. For those who hadn’t read it, long story short, my husband kicked me out of the house after his mother had physically slapped my stomach in front of him and I punched her in self-defense.

I loved my husband dearly but his lack of action regarding his mother’s behavior was extremely disgusting to say the least, I tolerated his mom’s behavior long enough until I couldn’t take it anymore as he had overlooked his mom’s behavior over and over again that finally I had enough. I was still recovering after giving birth to his child when his mom slapped my stomach, and my husband exaggerated when he said it wasn’t a hard slap.

The slap itself was hard enough to be heard by everyone in the room. I had lost it at this point when his mother slapped my stomach with a turd eating smirk that wasn’t visible from my husband’s point of view, at least that’s what my husband claimed. I had a mental breakdown when my husband told me to leave after kicking everyone out of the house, you should have seen his face when he told me to get out with a straight face and without hesitation.

Our baby was crying at this point before I left, and I couldn’t do anything but cry that night after I went to stay with my mother. His mother sent me a text mockingly saying, "I am going to file charges against you for a**ault, you fat little whore!" Now stay the f**k out of our lives!" She ended the text with a smiley face at the end. I was livid and decided I did not want to be associated with this family anymore

And served my husband divorce papers, and as you can guess he didn’t take it well and tried to get me to reconsider. I told him that he overlooked his mother’s behavior one too many times, and I was done with him and his inability to establish boundaries with his mother. I recommended setting boundaries, but he didn’t think it was necessary even after I told him throughout the pregnancy about the n**ty names his mother called me when he wasn’t around.

And he always brushed it off, even though he did tell his mom to stop she would continue this behavior after a short pause for a while. Before I left after handing him divorce papers he begged me for another chance and told me he cut contact with his mother permanently. I told him that he is sorry now that I handed him divorce papers and that he was too late to act now that I decided I wanted out of the marriage.

I told him I loved him so much that he should look at it as a sign that if I didn’t than I would have divorced him long ago because he didn’t stand up for me multiple times. and I let his mother’s snarky comments and behavior slide at my mental expense. I told him he needed help with the trauma because I understand that he is dealing with trauma since he already mentioned my abusive stepdad.

But he didn’t even realize that his mother hadn’t gotten him help for his trauma that he is still being affected in his adulthood. What I can’t understand is why he didn’t leave if he needed some space instead of being such a heartless b**tard and kicking our child out with me. I’ve been ignoring his texts and calls ever since, and I’m waiting for a divorce hearing. Something that I wanted to point out is that his mother had attributed to his niece’s weight gain, since she lives with my husband’s sister to save money.

I, once again, told my husband about his niece’s weight gain that it’s concerning that she weighs 190lb at such a young age, and she was indeed not that weight before. On the day of the incident I was making the niece’s second portion of food and then my husband’s mother came towards me and snatched the plate out of my hands and said "I’ll do it myself, let me take care of it!" and when I tried to take the plate back his mother said "I know what to f**king do.

You don’t know how to properly feed someone as healthy as my grandchild!" I was shocked that she thinks that her grandchild’s weight was normal for her age. I couldn’t take this harassment or abuse any longer and my breaking point was reached when he kicked me and our child out of the house, now I need to do what’s right for our child because she doesn’t need to be in a toxic household where she has to witness the drama going on.

My soon-to-be ex-husband wants us to do marriage counseling, to which I have refused to do so because I am done with him. I’m starting to feel slightly guilty with his begging and gaslighting. I just want to be done with him. I’ve blocked him as recommended by my lawyer but he keeps reaching out through his other family members and siblings. What should I do to make him go away until the divorce hearing?

Letting family tensions boil over can feel like stepping into a whirlwind with no clear escape. In this case, the rapid escalation from verbal taunts to physical violence underscores a longstanding imbalance of power. The actions taken by the wife, though seemingly impulsive, are rooted in years of feeling ignored and devalued—a situation that too often leaves victims with few alternatives when their safety is compromised.

The emotional and physical toll of enduring abuse cannot be underestimated. Here, the wife’s decision to fight back was not a spur-of-the-moment act but the culmination of repeated incidents that eroded her resilience. Each dismissive comment and each act of violence contributed to a build-up of stress and despair, leaving her no choice but to defend herself amid a storm of betrayal and isolation.

Looking at the broader picture, domestic conflicts of this nature highlight disturbing trends where power imbalances within a family escalate unchecked. According to research from organizations such as the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, unresolved abuse is known to snowball, affecting not only the victim but also the most vulnerable members of the family. These trends remind us that the abuse witnessed in this story is not an isolated incident but rather part of a larger, systemic issue that calls for urgent attention and reform.

Domestic violence expert Dr. Lundy Bancroft has observed, “Abusive behavior is fundamentally about power and control, not merely anger.” His insights, featured in several published resources, emphasize that the actions in this case reflect a deep-seated need to dominate rather than a simple loss of temper.

By shifting the focus from isolated incidents to a pattern of behavior, Dr. Bancroft’s perspective offers a lens through which we can understand the dynamics at play, urging society to recognize the warning signs before they spiral further out of control.

In light of these observations, practical steps toward recovery and safety become paramount. Victims facing similar predicaments are encouraged to seek both legal protection and mental health support immediately. Establishing clear boundaries and considering restraining orders can provide a necessary shield against further harm.

Moreover, engaging in professional counseling not only aids in healing from trauma but also helps to rebuild the confidence needed to move forward. With community backing and expert guidance, those in toxic environments can reclaim their lives and advocate for systemic change.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Overall, the Reddit community voiced a mix of outrage and dry humor in response to the unfolding drama. Many users criticized the husband’s inability to defend his wife and condemned the toxic behavior of his family, applauding her for taking a stand.

The consensus was that repeated neglect and verbal as well as physical abuse left her no choice but to act in self-defense. Contributors also emphasized the importance of clear boundaries and legal safeguards, reflecting a shared belief that such behavior is entirely unacceptable and must be addressed promptly.

MagnoliaLA − I remember that post, and I too wanted to punch MIL and your husband. He tried hard to paint himself the victim in this but did a s**t job of it and sounded more like a dingleberry tangled in his mom's ass hair.

wlfwrtr − Screenshot your husband's post. You may be able to use it as evidence to get a restraining order to keep her away from you and baby. Also do the same with the messages she sent you. When your ex has visitation the baby needs to be kept away from his mother.

GarfieGirl − I read your husband's original post, he was very clearly the AH. Your post only confirms this. As far as your question about getting him to leave you alone until the hearing, ask your divorce attorney if they can send him/his family members a cease and desist letter (or send it to his divorce attorney).

robbietreehorn − The thing that stuck out to me about your husband’s post was that he thought this was about him. *He* needed time to process. *He* wanted the house empty of everyone, including his wife and new child, because *he* was o**rwhelmed. And, he thought *he* was in control. It was so bizarre. His mom was out of control. She gave your food away while you were nursing his child.

Then she slapped you. He was worried about both of you verbally arguing and how it affected *him*, not that his mother was once again treating you like s**t. I can see how his mother being punched and falling on the ground was shocking, to say the least. However, Jesus Christ. His mother was being abusive to you. In her actions (giving your food away), verbally (calling you fat), and physically.

For a split second, you thought he finally circled the wagons by kicking everyone out, that he had your back. You hung your head on the table after being insulted and assaulted and thought you and your husband were going to have a “*this* b**ch” conversation only for him to, by his actions, say that you were the problem.. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself to her *and* him

Asleep_Pollution_571 − I'm so sorry you've been going through such a rough time. I was furious for you when I read your husband's post. I think punching your MIL was an automatic response to being struck first and most of us would have done the same thing.. The original post for those who haven't read it.

Designer-Carpenter88 − I remember telling your ex husband that he was the a**hole. His #1 job as a husband is stick up for his wife. If my mother had slapped my wife, that would be the last time she saw either of us or our children.

TarzanKitty − I read your husband’s post. His mommy 100% deserved to get punched in the face. You should have filed a police report immediately. If you didn’t. You can still do it now. Although, it probably won’t carry much weight. You need a restraining order on this woman. That order needs to include your child.

JumpGlittering8120 − NTA. Try saying "Marriage counselling will not save this marriage. I no longer want to be married to you, I'm done. Lets get the divorce done"

Cursd818 − I remember that post. I remember thinking that your STB ex-husband was just as abusive as his parents, just in new and inventive ways. He evicted his 5 week old baby in the middle of the night. He enabled *you* to be profoundly abused, mentally, emotionally, and physically. The stress his mother put you through whilst you were pregnant could have seriously harmed your child in utero. When his mother stole your food, she was also damaging your milk supply.

In effect, she was starving your child too. And your husband knew that. He let her starve you and a**ault you, and then he threw you both out. You're feeling guilty because it's a natural response. It shows you're a decent person who feels empathy and shame. It's a *good* thing that you feel this way. But please, don't let that guilt guide you. You need restraining orders for you and your child against your evil ex-MIL.

It needs to be written into the custody agreement that she isn't ever allowed near your baby. But frankly, I think you should go for full custody and he gets supervised visitation only. Any man who is happy to see his child be abused by proxy and immediately evicts them is *dangerous* to that child. You can never trust that he will protect her, and for that reason only, he should never be alone with her.

Rowana133 − Definitely look into adding a clause to the divorce that his mother isn't allowed around your child since she assaulted you.

In conclusion, this tumultuous account of toxic family dynamics and desperate self-defense leaves us with much to ponder about the depths of emotional abuse and the urgency for real change. The narrative invites readers to reflect on the meaning of protection, love, and self-worth. How far would you go to reclaim your dignity? What safeguards would you put in place if faced with a similar predicament? Share your opinions and experiences, and let’s spark a thoughtful discussion on how to break free from cycles of abuse.

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