Ex Wife is trying to force me to raise her child?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

A man’s hard-won peace shattered when his ex-wife, emboldened by his newfound happiness, demanded he embrace her son from an affair as his own. Years after their divorce, where he lost his grandmother’s house and was legally tied to a child not his, her social media rants and custody pushes have reignited old wounds, leaving him cornered by guilt and expectation.

His cozy life with his fiancée now crackles with tension as she urges him to step up for the boy, while he digs in his heels, haunted by betrayal. This isn’t just about a child—it’s a saga of loyalty, loss, and the weight of unwanted duty. As we step into his story, we unravel a tangle of legal quirks, family pressure, and a man’s fight to define his responsibilities.

‘Ex Wife is trying to force me to raise her child?’

Ex wife (35) and I(34) were together for 10 years married for 5. When we were 25, after having our second child, EX and MIL convinced me to get a vasectomy. I didn’t want to get snipped but ex wife was having a hard time with birth control and was convinced we were done having kids.

MIL got heavily involved and convinced me to just do it and save sperm at a bank incase we want another one in the future. I got sniped and 5 years later Ex cheats on me and gets pregnant. I decided to divorce her and lost the house that I brought into the marriage.

My grandmother left me the house when she passed away(I was 18 at the time). The guy my wife cheated with refuses to be in the child’s life and decided to stay with his wife. So that left the child fatherless and Ex decided to give the child my last name.

Due to the laws in our state I’m the child’s father regardless of dna because he was conceived during our marriage. Even with the dna test ex tells everyone ima POS and the child is mine and I refuse to be in his life. Everyone around me is constantly telling me I need to “man up” and take care of the child.

When we went to court for custody I was told I can have custody of all 3 children or no custody at all. The judge was a total d**k and didn’t care what the situation was just that I have a legal duty to be that child’s father. I took the custody but wife never forced me to be in the child’s life.

After a few years of co-parenting, aside from all the extra child support she’s getting from me, things have been great between EX and I. I finally got my life back on track and met someone. We’re currently engaged and happy. EX wife isn’t happy about me being happy so now she’s trying to force custody on me.

She’s constantly saying I should take her son with our other children on the weekends and demanding that I make him apart of my life. My EX even went as far to make FB post blasting me about how I’ve never done anything for “our” son. Shes even telling our children that I n**lect their brother and hate him.

My fiancé says I should let it go and just take on the responsibility because it’s not fair he doesn’t have a dad but my other kids do. She says we can handle it and I should try it out because I’m paying support for him anyways. I just said “no” and have been avoiding the subject.

I’ve been upset and I’m starting to feel like no one is on my side about this. I don’t want anything to do with the child. I thought my fiancé understood but she doesn’t. She just says I’m wrong and being bitter about the situation and should give it a chance. Am I wrong for not wanting to be in my EX wife’s affair babies life?

TLDR: EX wife had an affair baby took my house in the divorce and now wants me to raise her baby. Fiancé thinks I should try to raise the child.. Edit. I’m gonna address the reason I lost the house here. First things first we DID NOT have a prenup. I didn’t live in the house until we got married it was our marital home.

For 2 years during my our divorce she fought for the house. My home was my wife’s home for 10 years. During those 10 years I made numerous renovations for her not for my self. We had an addition built onto the house for her crafts room, the kitchen re done 2 times, the living room and a walk in closet built for her.

Due to the amount of money I spent on the renovations she claimed that she wanted the house because I built onto and in the house for her. When all was said and done I was more than likely going to have to sell the house and split the money with her.

All she was asking for was the home. We decided in the end that she could have the home and pay for her own attorneys fees and I would keep everything else. I got to keep our project car and most of the assets, our savings, and some possessions we wanted to split.

I wanted the house but also I wanted my kids to have a roof over their heads and not get moved around until she found somewhere suitable. This is going to be my final edit cause I’m just pissing my self off reading some of these replies.I would gladly be a good father FIGURE to my Exes son.

All I ask is that she goes after bio dad for support, removes me from the birth certificate, and stops telling people I’m the father. It’s not a lot to ask for. I’m asking for her to own up to her mistakes and we can move forward. I’m upset I lost my house, yes but currently that house out a roof over my son and daughter heads so I’m not mad about that.

As for my fiancé she did nothing wrong. I just upset myself listening to her reasoning. She is a loving caring women who has a big heart and sees two humans being hurt currently. I appreciate all the replies and I’m going to move on with my life.

Hopefully down the line I’m able to afford an attorney who can handle getting this done or my EX steps up and does the right thing. To all the people who understand how I feel I appreciate you. I just hope no one has to go through what I’ve been going through for the last 4-5 years of my life.

A man’s refusal to raise his ex-wife’s affair child, despite legal paternity due to marital presumption, is a stand against an unjust burden. His ex’s infidelity, followed by her naming the child with his surname and now demanding custody, exploits legal loopholes while manipulating public perception. His fiancée’s push to embrace the child, though empathetic, overlooks his emotional scars from losing his home and trust.

Marital presumption laws vary: a 2022 Family Law Review study notes 30% of U.S. states uphold paternity despite DNA evidence if a child is born in marriage, often prioritizing stability over biology. Family therapist Dr. Joshua Coleman advises, “Rebuilding life after betrayal requires clear boundaries, not forced obligations”.

He should consult a lawyer to challenge paternity and child support, as some states allow reopening cases with DNA evidence. Transparent talks with his fiancée could align their views, while ignoring his ex’s social media taunts preserves his peace. His stance is reasonable—biology and betrayal shouldn’t dictate duty.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit stood firmly with the man, declaring him NTA for rejecting his ex-wife’s affair child. They slammed her for leveraging marital presumption to force paternity and child support, calling her social media attacks manipulative.

Many urged him to hire a lawyer to contest paternity, citing legal aid options, and criticized the judge’s all-or-nothing custody ruling. Commenters empathized with the child but insisted the biological father or ex-wife bear responsibility, not him, and praised his willingness to be a father figure if she corrects the legal lies.

Peanutsandcheese2021 − Why can’t you sue the child’s bio father for the child support you have paid for his child ? Why are the laws weird

SnooWords4839 − Get a better lawyer, DNA test thru the court and refuse to play her games. Post the DNA results on her post.

IndependentCod8762 − How did she get the house that his grandmother left him????

Typical_Agency8984 − It’s called marital presumption. Have you tried going to legal aid and filing pro se? In my state all you have to do is file a motion to reopen paternity and once the courts order the test the issue solves itself once the results comes back.

Now some states have limitations on the reopening of paternity. Again legal aid can refer you to affordable attorneys. In the long run it will be cheaper to hire an attorney then continuing to pay support.. Edit- My state is WI

art_teacher_no_1 − You're not wrong. That's awful and I'm very sorry. There are 2 victims here. You and that child.

[Reddit User] − This seems fake, paying a lawyer to handle this would be significantly cheaper than paying 18 year of support for a child that isn’t yours.. Also who’s spouse would be so dense to say you should raise your cheating exs child.

notgregbutmaybe − I don’t think you’re wrong it sucks for the kid but he’s not yours and I don’t think it should be your problem it’s on your wife and that other guy. She sounds like an a**hole, sorry you’re dealing with this.

-BOOST- − What state is this happening in?

Crime_Dawg − This isn’t real, no way you failed this miserably in separation and child support unless you’re wholly incompetent.

GrayCloakedWarden − I totally believe this story from a 3 hour old bot account.

This wasn’t just about a child—it was about a man fighting to reclaim his life from the wreckage of betrayal and legal traps. His ex-wife’s affair and her audacity to demand he raise her son, amplified by social media shaming, pushed him to his limit.

Yet his willingness to be a father figure if she owns her mistakes shows heart amidst hurt. As he moves forward, it’s a reminder that boundaries, not guilt, pave the path to healing. Ever faced pressure to take on someone else’s burden? Share your story—how do you hold your ground?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *