Coworker Wants to Borrow My “Healing Shadow”: A Workplace Spirituality Clash

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

The modern workplace is a melting pot of personalities and beliefs, but sometimes, those beliefs can lead to rather… unusual requests. Our protagonist, a 24-year-old woman we’ll call Maya, found herself in just such a bizarre situation when her coworker, Dana, a self-proclaimed expert in energy work and astral projection, decided Maya possessed a rare and valuable commodity:

a “healing shadow.” What followed was a request so outlandish it could only come from the depths of esoteric belief, leaving Maya utterly bewildered and questioning the boundaries of workplace interactions.

Dana, known around the office for her pronouncements on energy fields and past lives, approached Maya with an air of profound emotion, declaring that Maya harbored an exceptionally strong “healing shadow.” Intrigued but clueless, Maya listened as Dana elaborated on this concept of a “shadow self” brimming with ancient healing energy.

However, the conversation took a sharp turn when Dana revealed her true intention: she wanted to borrow Maya’s shadow to help her cousin recover from a bad breakup. The explanation of the elaborate “shadow essence” absorption ritual left Maya feeling like she’d stepped into a surreal comedy sketch.

‘AITAH for refusing to lend my coworker my “healing shadow” after she insisted I have one?’

I (24F) work with this woman, Dana (30sF), who is really into energy work, astral projection, and “shadow walking.” She’s generally harmless, but she says things that make HR nervous—like how she can “see the lingering echoes of people’s past lives” and how the office printer is “an energy leech” (which honestly, might be true).

Last week, she came up to me, looking weirdly emotional, and told me, “You have a very strong healing shadow.” I had no idea what this meant, so I just blinked at her. She went on to explain that some people have “shadow selves” that carry ancient healing energy, and apparently, mine is unusually powerful.. I was like, cool, I guess?

But then she dropped the bombshell:. She wanted to borrow my shadow to help her cousin, who was “spiritually misaligned after a bad breakup.”. I had no clue how to respond, so I just asked, “Uh… how do you borrow a shadow?” BIG mistake. She lit up like I had just agreed and started explaining this elaborate ritual where she would sit in my aura, absorb some of my “shadow essence,” and then “channel it” into her cousin.

She said it would take a few hours and that I just needed to “sit still and let it happen.” I told her no, absolutely not, because 1) what the hell, and 2) I am not lending out my shadow like a library book. She got really upset and said I was being “spiritually selfish” and that I had been “blessed with a rare gift, but refuse to share it.” She even tried to guilt-trip me by saying, “If someone was drowning and you had a life vest, wouldn’t you throw it to them?

Your shadow is their life vest.”. I said, “No, because my shadow is not a life vest. It is my freaking shadow.” Now she’s avoiding me and has been telling people that I’m “hoarding spiritual resources” and “refusing to help someone in need.” A few coworkers are saying I should have just let her do the ritual since it was “harmless” and would have “meant a lot to her.”. But I feel like once you start loaning out parts of your own existence, that’s a slippery slope.. AITAH?

The workplace is increasingly diverse, encompassing a wide range of personal beliefs and practices. While respecting these differences is important, it’s equally crucial to establish clear boundaries regarding what constitutes appropriate workplace behavior and expectations. In Maya’s situation, Dana’s request to “borrow” her “healing shadow” clearly oversteps these boundaries, venturing into the realm of personal and potentially uncomfortable spiritual practices within a professional setting.

Dana’s insistence on the validity of her beliefs and her attempt to involve Maya in a personal ritual highlights the challenges that can arise when personal spirituality intersects with workplace norms. While Dana may genuinely believe in the power of “healing shadows,” her attempt to impose this belief on Maya and pressure her into participation is inappropriate. The workplace is generally a space for professional interactions, and personal spiritual practices should ideally remain outside of work hours and not involve coworkers without their explicit and enthusiastic consent.

According to Dr. Steven Novella, a neurologist and advocate for science-based medicine, “Beliefs, no matter how sincerely held, do not constitute evidence.” While Dana is entitled to her spiritual beliefs, she cannot expect others to participate in them, especially when those beliefs involve abstract concepts and rituals that are not universally accepted or understood. Dr. Novella emphasizes the importance of critical thinking and respecting individual autonomy when it comes to personal beliefs and practices.

Maya’s refusal to participate in the ritual is entirely justified. She has the right to her own beliefs (or lack thereof) and should not feel pressured to engage in practices that make her uncomfortable. Dana’s subsequent behavior of labeling Maya as “spiritually selfish” and attempting to guilt-trip her is manipulative and unprofessional. In such situations, it’s important for individuals to assert their boundaries clearly and, if necessary, involve HR if the behavior persists and creates a hostile work environment. While some coworkers may perceive the ritual as “harmless,” Maya’s discomfort and her feeling that it crosses a personal line are paramount and should be respected. The workplace should be a space where individuals feel safe and respected, regardless of their personal beliefs.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Alright, buckle up, because the Reddit jury has delivered its verdict, and let’s just say Dana’s “shadow borrowing” scheme didn’t exactly win them over. The online consensus is overwhelmingly in Maya’s corner, with many commenters suggesting Dana might need a reality check more than her cousin needs a “shadow essence” infusion. From comparing the request to something straight out of a fantasy novel to advising Maya to invest in some spiritual garlic and holy water, the Reddit hive mind had a field day with this one. It seems like the internet collectively raised an eyebrow, tilted its head, and then burst out laughing at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Let’s dive into the digital discourse and see what otherworldly opinions the Reddit crowd conjured up.

Aggravating_Meat4785 − Let’s just agree that her scenario is possible. Her trying to force you to do a spiritual work is unethical and against spiritual laws. And then bad mouthing you is also very wrong spiritually. So even in her own reality you’re not wrong. Aside from that no, you don’t have to agree to anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Messing with spiritual stuff you know nothing about is always ill advised.

BreakingUp47 − NTA. Tell her your shadow was sewn on. Doesn't come off because you don't want to chase it down again.. Edit: added word

Astreja − I've indulged in a bit of mystical stuff over the years (and am *mostly* recovered), and I find this alarming from multiple points of view.. * Disrupting the workplace with her beliefs. * Badmouthing you because you won't play along with this bizarre

Setting you up to take the blame if her cousin doesn't start doing better * Feeling that she has some sort of right to co-opt your alleged

mocha_lattes_ − NTA but you should seriously consider reporting this conversation to HR in case she tries to make work hostile.

SpaceKitten28 − “I’m not lending my shadow out like a library book” is the best thing I’ve read all day.

74Magick − Well, I'm Wiccan and I find this to be creepy. I generally think spiritual/religious talk should be a no-deal in the work place.. NTA

SnarkyBeanBroth −

BloodMoneyMorality − Tell her you did the ritual and gave it to the children’s cancer ward

Foreign_Operation_10 − NTA, would you let a co-worker borrow your baby to baptize it? “Just some water”.

sunsea89 − NTA. Just like one wouldn't donate blood via a coworkers syringe instead of like a clinic with a nurse. you just have to take it at her word that her spiritual whatever is for this and she knows how to do it?

If it was a real thing you are too uninformed to consent to her strange medical practice (which i assume would happen in office during the work day? Or is she taking you to a secondary location? You're gonna end up in a tub of ice with your spiritual kidney removed or something). However I do agree that your office printer is an energy leech. ALL office printers are

These are popular opinions on Reddit, and while they offer a humorous take on a rather unusual situation, they also highlight the importance of maintaining personal boundaries and not feeling pressured to participate in practices that make one uncomfortable, especially in a professional setting. While Dana’s intentions might have been well-meaning (or perhaps not!), Maya’s right to refuse such a bizarre request is unequivocally supported by the online community.

Maya’s encounter with Dana’s request to borrow her “healing shadow” serves as a humorous yet important reminder of the diverse beliefs that can exist in the workplace and the necessity of establishing clear personal boundaries. While respecting individual beliefs is crucial, it’s equally important to feel comfortable and not pressured to participate in practices that fall outside of one’s own comfort zone or understanding.

What do you think of Dana’s request? Was Maya right to refuse, or should she have indulged her coworker’s unusual belief? Have you ever encountered similar situations in the workplace? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *