AITA for having an underwhelming reaction to my mom being pregnant?

A surprising announcement can sometimes bring unexpected feelings. In this case, a 15‐year-old finds herself caught between the excitement her parents expected and a profound sense of ambivalence. The news of an impending sibling sparked a wave of mixed emotions that she struggled to sort through on the spot.

In the quiet moments following the revelation, her inner thoughts raced—reflecting on memories of childhood desires and the reality of growing up. The family, once united by shared anticipation, soon found themselves divided by differing visions of what the future should hold.

‘AITA for having an underwhelming reaction to my mom being pregnant?’

My parents told me (15f) a few weeks ago that they're expecting another baby. This will be my first sibling and possibly only sibling because it took such a long time for my mom to have another baby. I'll admit to not being that excited. And that really hurt my mom's feelings. When they sat me down and told me I said oh and didn't really react much but I was really surprised and also had like a lot of thoughts that happened so quickly and admittedly most of them weren't that positive.

My mom was really upset by my underwhelming initial reaction and my parents aren't super thrilled that after a few weeks I'm not more excited. My mom was crying the other night because 10ish years ago I used to beg for a sibling and now it's finally happened and I'm not reacting like they wanted or expected.

My dad was so pissed when mom cried to him and he told me how disappointed he was in me that I was underreacting so badly. He said having a sibling is a blessing and our family is getting bigger and I wanted a sibling for such a long time when I was younger and now it's like I don't want one.. AITA?

Letting a new family member join the fold can feel monumental for any household, yet every individual processes change differently. The teenager’s measured reaction may seem underwhelming to those expecting exuberance, but it is a common response given the complexity of adolescent emotions.

The core of the issue lies in the contrasting expectations between generations. While the parents see the impending sibling as an opportunity to expand familial love, the teen views it as the onset of a lifestyle upheaval. Adolescence, a phase characterized by the quest for identity and autonomy, may naturally give rise to reluctance toward changes that seem to encroach upon personal space.

When a parent’s joy doesn’t mirror a teenager’s internal state, conflict is almost inevitable. The emotional landscape is shaded with recollections of past desires and the inherent fear of disruption. Adolescents, who once fantasized about siblings in a simpler childhood, now confront reality with pragmatic caution as they prepare for impending responsibilities.

Dr. Laura Markham, a respected clinical psychologist and parenting expert, once remarked, “Teenagers can feel ambivalence when faced with unexpected family changes because they are simultaneously craving independence and grappling with uncertainty about the future.”

Her words remind us that the teen’s subdued response is not an act of defiance but rather a complex interplay of emotional maturity and the need for personal space. This perspective offers a nuanced view of the situation, suggesting that not every reaction fits the idealized mold of joy.

Ultimately, the situation calls for empathy and honest communication. Both parents and teens benefit from open discussions about expectations and fears. By acknowledging the legitimacy of mixed feelings, families can navigate transitions more harmoniously. Practical advice includes seeking family counseling or reading up on adolescent development, as understanding these emotional shifts can pave the way for healthier relationships.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid, humorous, and refreshingly blunt. The comments reflect a blend of understanding and surprise, as fellow users share their insights on the teen’s unexpected response. They remind us that while parental emotions may run high, teenagers have valid reasons for their indifference, making it a subject ripe for debate and reflection.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It a shame it took so long, but by the time the kid can talk you’ll quite possibly have left home. Totally understandable, you’re no longer the age that wants a sibling to play with and they won’t be someone you can lean on in a close way. At best you’ll have a cool aunt type of relationship, hopefully.

Illustrious_Swim_715 − Shocker a fifteen year old isn't conveying the same enthusiasm about a huge lifestyle change that a five year old who didn't understand it did. Have they asked you about how you'd feel about it since then? Either way NTA

SquareSpare8723 − Parents need to get over themselves.

rollonover − NTA. You're entitled to have any reaction you want. They're trying to force you and that's weird because wanting a sibling when you were 5 vs 15 is a huge difference. I wouldn't care much either tbh because you're almost an adult now so having a baby brother or sister is not something you need to be concerned with. They should be more understanding instead of demanding.

Tor_of_Asgard − NTA. A childs mindset at 5 is very different to a 15 year olds mindset and by the time your sibling is born you will only have around 2-3 years of bonding before you move out perhaps less if the bonding is working poorly or is forced on you.

Great that the parents are happy with their coming child but they suck for trying to force their opinion on you.. For any potential forced babysitting I recommend standing your ground to make sure that it doesnt become a habbit.

SneakyRaid − NTA. They should be having a kid because they want, so framing it as

Bottom line: they are the adults, they are responsible for managing their emotions and expectations, and it's not your fault that they fail to do that. (Nor do you owe them free childcare. Just in case they pull that guilt trip).

Artistic_Tough5005 − NTA. You’re 15yrs old probably in high school and will be heading off to college in a few years. You and your sibling won’t be growing up together. These are busy years for a teenager and sibling won’t be old enough to remember any of it.

Darthkhydaeus − NTA. You're too old to ever have a true sibling relationship. You will feel more like an additional parent.

Independent-Win9088 − Having a sibling now with your parents already putting babysitter expectations on you is s**t. If you're not already, start looking into jobs or extracurriculars to pad your time away from home. Work on getting into a good school or trade and GTFO asap.. I can smell the pending parentification from here.

So if they're so happy and

celticmusebooks − Your mom's crying jags are likely pregnancy hormones and not your fault. Weird that your parents think berating you for having honest feelings is going to make things somehow

and may have a LOT of concerns about what this will mean for you. Will it affect your college choices? Will you be forced to provide childcare? How will family finances need to change?. NTA for having an honest reaction and not

The unfolding family dynamic opens up a broader conversation about expectations versus reality in today’s households. While the teen’s reaction might seem inadequate to some, it highlights an important point: every emotional response is unique and valid. How do you navigate drastic changes in family life? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your stories and perspectives—let’s talk about the messy, beautiful process of growing up together as families evolve.

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