AMW for refusing to pay for my baby niece’s hearing aids even though I have a ton of money?

Jonathan Hours
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A couple’s wealth couldn’t bridge the chasm of a painful family history when the wife’s estranged sister demanded they cover her newborn daughter’s hearing aids. Diagnosed with congenital hearing loss, the three-month-old needs costly devices, but the sister’s past cruelty—bullying her deaf sibling and breaking her hearing aid—left deep scars. At their grandmother’s funeral, the sister’s bold ask for money ignited a fiery confrontation, with the wife unleashing years of pent-up rage.

The Reddit post lays bare a clash of duty, trauma, and family ties, as the couple stands firm on their refusal. With the sister’s gaslighting and entitlement in the spotlight, the story sparks debates about forgiveness, financial responsibility, and the weight of past wrongs. Did they owe their niece help, or was their boundary a rightful stand?

‘AMW for refusing to pay for my baby niece’s hearing aids even though I have a ton of money?’

My wife and I are labelled as selfish for refusing to pay for my three-month-old baby niece's hearing aids. Here's what happened: My niece was recently diagnosed with Congenital hearing loss and is partially deaf in both ears. The doctors suggested that she be given hearing aids as soon as possible so as not to affect her development.

However, my sister-in-law(Kate) can't afford the $1000-$4000 per pair expense especially without health insurance. So she decided to ask my wife, who hates her, during their grandmother's funeral. Important backstory: My wife hates her sister with a burning passion, because of how Kate treated her. Ironically, my wife was born partially deaf in her left ear.

But instead of Kate being a supporting sister, she bullied her instead. What makes it more sickening, is how their parents turned a blind eye because Kate was their favourite child. Allowing Kate to shout ugly remarks about deaf people into her sister's ear and more. They even ignored their youngest daughter's need for a hearing aid, as they didn't want to

It wasn't until my wife's grandmother chipped in and bought a pair. But even then, Kate would constantly steal it and torment her sister. The last straw was when she intentionally broke it and her parents refused to replace it. Once again, refusing to

Skipping to the funeral, Kate sat down uninvited to speak to us. She wanted to ask an important favour in the name of

When Katie asked why, my wife just went ballistic. Calling her out on her audacity to attend a funeral to ask for money. Wanting the person you bullied for being deaf to buy hearing aids for your deaf daughter. She even quoted Katie's old remarks.

Calling my wife p**cho for holding so much resentment towards her till today. Calling her selfish, for refusing to help her niece over a childish grudge. Even gaslighting her for the next 5 minutes straight to make her believe she's immoral. She eventually left screaming after calling us disgusting for having so much money and not helping

So am I wrong or not Op wife: I asked my sister over 15 years ago

Family conflicts often unearth old wounds, and this couple’s refusal to fund their niece’s hearing aids is rooted in profound betrayal. The wife’s sister not only bullied her for her hearing loss but actively sabotaged her well-being by breaking her hearing aid—a trauma compounded by their parents’ neglect. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert, notes, “Unresolved trauma can shape boundaries, making even reasonable requests feel like violations.” The sister’s demand at a funeral, paired with her lack of remorse, reopens those wounds.

This reflects a broader issue: estrangement and financial expectations. A 2019 study in Family Relations found 27% of adults are estranged from a family member, often due to abuse or neglect, and financial requests can strain those fragile ties. The sister’s entitlement—expecting aid despite her cruelty—ignores the wife’s need for safety and distance.

Dr. van der Kolk suggests healing through clear boundaries and self-care. The couple could maintain no contact, as the wife requested, and explore therapy to process lingering pain. Supporting the niece via a neutral channel, like a GoFundMe, might ease guilt without engaging the sister directly. Their stance isn’t selfish—it’s self-preservation.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crowd roared with support, tossing out takes as sharp as a funeral’s edge. Here’s a glimpse of the top comments that fueled the thread:

13rialities − I dont think yall are wrong, it isnt your responsibility to pay the medical bills of estranged family members. I see all the people saying the child is innocent, but it still isnt your responsibility. She can start a gofundme and if she hasnt treated everyone else she knows like crap then maybe she will get her kid the equipment they need.

Adventurous-Age8016 − When SIL asked for the money at the funeral, your wife should have said “sorry I can’t hear you”

ParfaitsHaveLayers − I'm shocked by how many people are saying you should just buy them. That would be opening the door for this entitled bully to continually ask for money or other s**t because

NoWhammyStop23 − NTA! The f**king nerve of her to do that. Your SIL sounds like a real winner raises by true winners! I get that yes it is a child, tell her to get a f**king only fans or a go fund me, or maybe she could get a part time job and save up money FOR HER OWN DAMN CHILD!

CTMom79 − NTA. I don’t get the people saying you should pay because it’s a child. It’s not your child. The fact that they need help for the very thing your SIL bullied your wife for, and actually went so far as to break her hearing aide is some kind of karma. Your wife’s parents are also assholes for not helping their own daughter to thrive.

ToastedTriscuit − She is not your child- period. I’m surprised at the comments here. Yes, altruism dictates that if we can help someone in need we should, but honestly how many people here are actually helping support other people’s children? Your wife is NC with her sister; she is no longer family. I feel bad for the child (it isn’t her fault), but OP owes that child no more financial support than the people here in the comments do.

Shills_for_fun − People you have no contact with are not family. The fact that she thought there was some sacred blood bond that could bridge decades of mistreatment and the lack of remorse is something else.

[Reddit User] − S**ew THAT! NTA all day long, I feel sorry for the child, both for the condition and for their terrible mother

SoftwareMaintenance − The failure was not in the ask. The failure was the entitlement showed by the

Caranath128 − Uhh no. The child can go on Medicaid to have her hearing aids covered.

These Reddit zingers blend empathy with defiance, but do they miss the nuance of the niece’s innocence? One thing’s clear: the crowd’s got no patience for the sister’s gall.

This couple’s refusal to fund their niece’s hearing aids wasn’t about money—it was about shielding a wounded heart from a bully who never apologized. The sister’s audacity, demanding help at a funeral, exposed a rift too deep to mend. As they hold their ground, the story challenges us to ask: when does family duty end, and self-protection begin? If past abuse shaped your boundaries, would you help a child tied to your abuser? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack the cost of saying no.

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