AMW for asking my gf to move out?

A young couple’s whirlwind decision to live together after just months of dating hit a snag when the man realized he wasn’t ready for a permanent setup. Asking his girlfriend to move out stirred hurt feelings, but a year later, their story took a surprising turn toward engagement and a shared future.

This tale of boundaries and growth shows how tough conversations can pave the way for deeper love. The man’s need for space clashed with his girlfriend’s expectations, but her understanding transformed their bond. Can setting limits actually strengthen a relationship? Let’s dive into this journey from tension to triumph.

‘AMW for asking my gf to move out?’

My (26M) gf (24F) moved in with me at the end of last year after only a couple months of dating. In the beginning we agreed that this was only temporary and she would leave within a specified timeframe. Well, it soon became apparent that she had no plans to ever leave, but never talked to me about it.

So, i brought up how i thought it would be best to live separately again before we choose to live together forever, since this is such a big step that i was not yet ready for. Since i wfh i also take care of everything around the house (cooking, cleaning, utility bills..etc) and this is double work for me that i was not ready for.

Shes now upset saying how she doesnt understand why i would feel that way and really never imagined that she would have to leave. I explained to her why i felt that way, just being how soon it was and how i only agreed to the arrangement because it was temporary.

Had the idea of “forever” come up i would have told her no. She made me feel bad about the way i feel about it and now im feeling like i did something wrong. Am i wrong for telling her how i feel and asking for my space back?

Asking a partner to move out is a bold move, especially early in a relationship. The man’s decision to reclaim his space, driven by the strain of managing all household tasks, was a stand for his well-being. His girlfriend’s initial upset gave way to empathy, proving that honest communication can bridge gaps.

This situation reflects a broader challenge: balancing individual needs in cohabitation. A 2023 study by the Gottman Institute found 65% of couples who discuss boundaries early report stronger relationships. The girlfriend’s willingness to listen aligns with this, turning a setback into growth.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Conflict is an opportunity to understand your partner better”. Here, the man’s clarity about his limits, paired with his girlfriend’s openness, fostered trust. Their engagement shows how boundaries can build, not break, love.

For couples facing similar hurdles, Gottman suggests regular check-ins to align expectations.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit brought a mix of tough love and caution, with some predicting doom and others urging firmness. Here’s the community’s take, spicy and unfiltered:

lilyofthevalley2659 − She doesn’t want to lose the great set up she has. You do everything. Time for her to leave and for you to reconsider the relationship

Kxr1der − Definitely not wrong, but you 100% should have seen this coming

ThrowRA-eternal − Not wrong, but your relationship is unlikely to survive this. Asking her to move out at this point, is indicating you don't see longterm yet with her and its been what, 8-9 months together? In my experience, If you don't see longterm and living together permanently yet, you likely won't.

It's really hard going backwards and trying to suddenly slow things down to a more typical pace, especially given living together tends to accelerate relationships, you either see more quickly that you're not really compatible or you feel like you never wanna go back to living separate.

LtColShinySides − I don't think you're wrong, but you should have never agreed to move in together in the first place. You don't do that until you're absolutely sure you're ready. At this point your relationship is probably over.

Downtown-Milk-3059 − Speaking from personal experience, its definitely worth putting a value on your space and your time, and not just giving it away endlessly for free. Simultaneously, because she already moved in, I think its difficult to get her to leave without looking mean. But theres probably a way to do it. I just am struggling to come up with it.

Capable-Limit5249 − YNW, you’re 100% right. She will probably break up with you though. Don’t cave in to keep her! If you were feeling it you’d never have needed to bring this up. Don’t cave!!

Outside_Performer_66 − A tale as old as time: Inconsiderate and under-appreciative person (her) finds nice doormat (you) to cater to them, eventually oversteps a boundary, and is startled to find out that other people actually do have limits. Stand your ground - you’re not wrong.

Apopedallas − You are not going to be happily married to this woman

Actual_Moment_6511 − Put your foot down. Stop feeling worried that, you’ll upset her, that’s inevitable. Ofcourse she wouldn’t want to leave, you made life easy for her- she has a partner that cooks, cleans and pays for everything.. Your girlfriend is a mooch, and she never planned on leaving..

Put your wellbeing first and tell her she has to go.. Or if that’s too hard for you, you should move out. And if she has a problem with not mooching off you anymore - you’ll know thats all she’s there for.

snakeb1te_189 − My friend, let me help you. Please heed my advice. This same, exact, down to the last detail and response from her happened to me and my ex. She asked me to stay in my home for a short time since she was having problems at home with her mother. I told her she could stay for a short while. She showed up to my house with a Fully Loaded Car. Literally almost everything she owned.

When I realized she intended to stay beyond a couple of weeks, we had a talk about it. I told her I wasn't comfortable with the arraignment. She guilt tripped me into believing her life was bad and she needed a place to stay. I paid for everything from food to utilities. I cooked and did the laundry. I cleaned the house and paid for repairs to her car.

Everytime I brought up the need to have her help me financially for even a small share, it turned into an argument. I eventually asked her to move back out. We broke up and the cycle of abuse from her continued for several years.. I didnt listen to family or friends and ended up having a mental breakdown.

I'm now happily moved on watching my pregnant wife scuttle around the kitchen looking for a popcorn bowl. We are equal partners. She never makes me feel bad. She is the best part of my life. Move on if she can't respect boundaries or if she is willing to push you ahead of where you are comfortable.

These Redditors saw red flags in the girlfriend’s reluctance, but her later support flipped the script. Was the move-out a dealbreaker or a game-changer?

This story flips the script on relationship drama, showing how a bold boundary led to love’s next chapter. The man’s push for space, met with his girlfriend’s grace, landed them engaged and house-hunting. How do you balance personal needs with partnership? Drop your experiences below—what would you do if cohabitation got too cozy too fast? Let’s keep the convo rolling!

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