Am I wrong – wife thinks I am doing something I am not supposed to – installs camera?

A quiet night took a troubling turn when a man learned his wife had secretly installed a camera in their bedroom to monitor his work-from-home desk, suspecting him of vague wrongdoing. Unaware of the device, he was stunned when she accused him of tampering with it, sparking feelings of betrayal and invasion of privacy. His discomfort with being watched all day raises questions about trust and boundaries in their marriage.

This Reddit story strikes a chord with anyone who’s faced unexpected distrust in a relationship. The man’s struggle to balance his wife’s insecurities with his need for privacy pulls readers into a tense exploration of marital trust, surveillance, and personal autonomy.

‘Am I wrong – wife thinks I am doing something I am not supposed to – installs camera?’

Let me start out this story by first saying I’m not much of a story teller/writer. So I am sorry for any reading difficulties that are present. I am a 38 y/o male and my wife is 34 y/o female. Our marriage has been okay. There have been ups and downs but for the majority of the time we get along okay. I work from home and have my office setup in one corner of our large bedroom.

Last night before we go to sleep she says to me, “I have been having this feeling that you are doing something you are not supposed to.” I respond back with, “is that right?” As the conversation goes further I found out that she plugged in a camera and pointed it at my desk. I guess she was going to watch me all day while we were but working (she does not work from home).

She then says that she knows that I unplugged the camera and put a cup on the table in front of it to block it. I didn’t even know the camera was plugged in. I definitely didn’t unplug it or intentionally put a cup in front of it. I feel like this is a major i**asion of my privacy. It really makes me uncomfortable to think I am being watched all day.

I don’t have anything to hide but there seems to always be a little something she could be upset about and that would not be fun daily. Should I just suck it up and allow the camera to make her feel better? I really don’t know what to do at this point.

This marital conflict reveals a critical erosion of trust, exacerbated by invasive surveillance. The wife’s decision to secretly monitor her husband’s workspace reflects deep-seated insecurities or suspicions, while her accusation of tampering suggests a lack of open communication. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Trust is the foundation of a healthy marriage; invasive actions like surveillance signal its absence.” The husband’s discomfort is a natural response to having his privacy violated in his own home.

The wife’s vague suspicions and reliance on a camera point to a broader issue: mistrust can spiral into controlling behavior. A 2023 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 15% of couples report privacy violations, such as monitoring, often linked to unresolved conflicts or projection. The camera’s placement in the bedroom, a shared intimate space, amplifies the breach. As Reddit users noted, this could also risk professional consequences if work confidentiality is compromised.

Dr. Gottman advises, “Couples must address trust issues through honest dialogue, not control.” The husband should initiate a calm conversation to uncover the root of her suspicions, perhaps suggesting couples therapy to rebuild trust. Readers, how can couples restore trust when privacy is breached?

ADVERTISEMENT

The husband’s opposition to the camera is justified; it’s a boundary violation, not a minor quirk. Removing the camera and seeking mutual understanding is crucial. Without addressing the underlying mistrust, their marriage risks further strain.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and humorous. Redditors were quick to call out the wife’s actions as controlling, with some speculating about projection or deeper issues:

ADVERTISEMENT

Livecrazyjoe − Tell her your going to put a tracker on her car and go through her phone daily. That's fair right?

Classic_Average_5964 − Sorry man! She is the one cheating. She is projecting her guilt on to you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Kukka63 − NTA, her behaviour is ridiculous, there is no reason for you to go along with this kind of nonsense. Everyone deserves privacy and you being 'observed' all day is incredibly controlling.

Ok-Many4262 − Actually, she could get you fired or lose contracts- she’s not only invading your privacy, she’s breaching the security measures I’m sure an employer would expect you to have in place. Also, it sure does sound like a case of projection

OldYogurtcloset3735 − If there is no trust and respect, there is nothing worth sticking around for.

Mapilean − Not Wrong..

ADVERTISEMENT

Careful-Self-457 − That would be grounds for removal for me. Don’t trust me? Then you need to leave. This is weird and she is projecting. My guess is that she is cheating and looking for a way to blame you for the marriage failing.

-_SophiaPetrillo_- − This marriage sounds awful. Also the camera is on your office which is also your bedroom?? Such an i**asion. You should both move on.

goddessofspite − NTA but if there is no trust the relationship is dead. Cut your losses and get the divorce now

ADVERTISEMENT

Siren_of_Madness − How's her mental health, generally?

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality?

This story exposes the fragility of trust in a marriage tested by secret surveillance. The man’s refusal to accept a camera watching his every move is a stand for personal autonomy, but it leaves him grappling with his wife’s unexplained distrust. Her actions, rooted in suspicion, threaten the foundation of their relationship. Have you ever faced a partner’s unexpected mistrust or invasion of privacy? Share your experiences below. What would you do when your spouse crosses a line to “catch” you?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *