Am I wrong that I broke up with him without warning?

In a cozy apartment once filled with laughter and dreams, a young woman’s world crumbled like a house of cards in a storm. At 23, she thought she’d found her forever with Chris, her charming boyfriend of four years. Their love felt like a fairytale—until a coworker’s firing and a shocking betrayal revealed a darker reality. When a friend’s message exposed Chris’s infidelity, her heart raced with disbelief, and the walls of their shared home seemed to close in.

Reeling from the sting of deceit, she faced a choice: confront the man who shattered her trust or protect her heart by walking away. With tears blurring her vision, she chose the latter, packing her bags and slipping out before he could weave his usual excuses. But Chris wasn’t ready to let go, and his persistence turned her escape into a tense game of cat and mouse, leaving her to navigate the fallout of a broken trust.

‘Am I wrong that I broke up with him without warning?’

My ex boyfriend is making my life miserable So here it goes, I (23f) was in relationship with Chris (26m) for 4 years. We were best friends. Everything was perfect like fairytale. We both had well paying jobs. And we had a great apartment I mean it was his but I used to pay half the rent. I thought this was it.

I definitely knew we were gonna get married. But then tragedy struck. One of my coworkers got fired from job because she filed a harassment case against our manager. I knew he was capable of doing it and she had proofs so I backed her up. But then she got fired from work and I knew I was the next one to get fired.

Everyone was talking about it. All of us knew I was getting fired and that eventually happened. But I was not sad .Was already searching for new job told my boyfriend he was very supportive. That night he went out with his friends he asked me but I was tired.

Everything was fine 2 days later I got message from his friend .He said my boyfriend slept with his girlfriend. At first I thought it was prank or joke but no he was right. He told that they didn't have affair but they did sleep together. It was one time thing. He even showed me the photos.

His girlfriend confessed him as she felt guilty. He broke up with her. Asked me to do the same. I was shocked, didn't know what to do. I thought of asking my bf then I got message from him saying I want to talk to you. He said he'll come home and if you are at home stay there I'll be there in 15 min.

This confirmed everything. I was crying and then I packed my bags n all my stuff. I left a note saying I know that you cheated and I'm breaking up with you. I did this because I didn't want to face him. If I stayed there he would have manipulated me .He always did this when he wanted something .

I went to my sister house n went to sleep. I switched off my phone. Told sister everything n said not to tell my bf I'm here. He was calling everyone in my family n friends to ask about me I already told my family. My bf even visited my sister house I think he knew I was there. My sister kicked him out.

I was totally numb. Didn't know how to feel what to do. I was not even crying anymore just sitting there total blank. My sister bf told me I can stay here as long as I want. He is a great guy. Few days later I was waiting for my sister suddenly my ex bf came there and sat next to me.

Here how the conversation goes.... Chris :Hi how are you. Me : good as you can see.. C : you're looking great .Looking very beautiful. M: what do you want now. You cheated n now here to tell me reason or excuses C:I didn't do it on purpose it just happened .Im Sorry I will never do that again. I love you.

It was my biggest mistake I was not in control. You can slap me or punish me but don't leave me.. By the way he was crying uncontrollably during this but nothing really worked for me. He was begging literally.. M : OK I forgive you. Now leave.. C: But what about our relationship. M: What relationship.

I told you I'm breaking up with you. You asked for forgiveness I accept that. C :you can't do this. You know I messed up I'm regretting it now. I'll die if you didn't come back. M: I really don't have time for this now. You asked for forgiveness you got it now there's nothing to talk about.

I left as was barely controlling my tears. I was just putting out a strong face just to show him. He came again next day same discussion. A week later he said I left my thing in his place. It was frame filled with our pictures which I gifted him. He was doing that on purpose.

I took all the pictures out n kept the frame. Everyday he is here .Yesterday I told him that stop doing this nothing going to happen. Just go n accept the truth. Today he didn't talk but he was still there. I was out shopping n he was everywhere like every single store I went to.

I certainly don't care but that's weird. He just following me at this point. I don't want to see his face everyday. I don't show doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I cry like everyday at night. And seeing him everyday makes it worse. He is ruining my life at this point.

He is saying I broke up with him without any warning.. So am I wrong for not waiting for his explanation?? Update : Thank you so much for all the suggestion. I'm going to get a restraining order. I also called his friend whose girlfriend he cheated on with he said he will surely help me.

My sister bf is coming back tomorrow .Also we are going to my sister's friends house to sleep.Just for today as we are alone in here. Her husband is cop. Update : The girl who he cheated with called just hours ago. She n her bf got back together. They are going for a open relationship.

And apparently my bf convinced his friend to forgive her. My sister totally went nuts on that b**ch. But Why is his friend still talking to him n he also wants to help me. Are they all together and making a fool outta me. My sister did record the call. I know it's not needed but still .

Why did his friend do that or maybe he's planning something else I don't know. I know this is not necessary information for my case. But this happened n I thought I'll share. Sorry if you feel this was not relevant. And I'm getting a restraining order. As of now I have not gone anywhere. Sister still with me trying to cheer me up.. 

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Betrayal in a relationship can feel like a rug pulled out from under you, leaving you scrambling for solid ground. This Reddit user’s decision to leave her cheating boyfriend abruptly reflects a desperate need to protect herself from further emotional harm. Let’s unpack this messy situation with a lens of clarity and a pinch of wit—after all, love shouldn’t feel like a soap opera cliffhanger.

The woman’s choice to flee highlights a clash of perspectives: she prioritized self-preservation, while Chris clung to control, using manipulation to dodge accountability. His stalking behavior screams entitlement, a trait Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, warns about. In a 2019 article, Gottman notes, “Trust is built in very small moments… and broken when those moments are disregarded”. Chris’s infidelity and obsessive pursuit show a disregard for her boundaries, eroding any chance of reconciliation.

This story taps into a broader issue: the societal pressure to “hear out” a partner, even after betrayal. A 2021 study by the American Psychological Association found that 60% of women feel coerced into maintaining unhealthy relationships due to emotional manipulation (source: APA). Her refusal to engage challenges this norm, showcasing strength in setting boundaries.

Experts suggest clear communication and firm boundaries for those in similar situations. Documenting incidents, as she did, strengthens cases for restraining orders. Therapy can also help process trauma and rebuild confidence, offering a path to healing and empowerment.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community chimed in with a chorus of support, urging the woman to stand firm and take legal action. Many labeled Chris’s behavior as stalking, suggesting police reports and restraining orders to reclaim her peace.

Others pointed out the irony of his “no warning” complaint, noting his cheating was the real ambush. The consensus was clear: her abrupt exit was justified, and his obsessive pursuit crossed serious lines.

Lilpoopiesquat − He cheated without any warning. You get what you give. On the other side I didn’t not handle my last break up well. We were still consistently communicating for a month after and I was going insane.

After that we went no contact and it’s been 6 months and now I’m in a healthy place again. I know it’s not in your control, but try to do anything and everything to maintain no contact. Eventually, hopefully, he’ll lose steam and go no contact.

Dizzy_Eye5257 − I think it's time to call the police and apply for a restraining order. It's gotten totally out of hand.

Nervous_Yogurt_5896 − Make police reports he's stalking you

BeverlyToegoldIV − hunt offbeat wise fuzzy ghost attractive rain spotted consist abundant.

Savings-You7318 − How does he keep getting into your sisters house? File a police report he’s stalking you

HugeNefariousness222 − Get a restraining order, stalking is illegal.

tuna_tofu − He CHEATED without warning too so...

St00dle − When I read the title I was expecting a story about a relationship you had been slowly losing interest in without him realizing it and then him being stunned when you finally break it.

But he abruptly cheated. Of course the ending would be abrupt. How do you warn someone in this scenario anyway? Tell them

Kitchen_Victory_7964 − Check your vehicle and belongings to see if he planted an air tag on you. Be safe, OP.

aldenmercier − His obsessive behavior is rooted in self absorption. It’s about what he wants, not reality. Same thing that made him cheat: he’s not rooted in reality, he’s rooted to his emotions. He wanted to sleep with someone else and wasn’t focused on your needs or the reality of the relationship.

Now he wants to ignore your needs and the reality of the broken relationship…to focus on his emotional needs. It’s all about his short term needs. A guy who can be seduced away from a relationship os a guy who values s** more highly than he values a relationship.

This could have happened when you were married with children. Now, it’s a learning experience preparing you for a man who wants all of you (the life you will build together) and not just the part of you that satisfies his short term needs.

You might have to threaten him with police involvement. There is absolutely no reason to have live like you ate…worried that he’s constantly obsessing and following. It’s unacceptable behavior.

This tale of heartbreak and resilience reminds us that love can be a battlefield, and sometimes, walking away is the ultimate power move. The Reddit user’s courage to leave a toxic situation, despite her ex’s relentless pursuit, sparks a question: where do we draw the line between closure and self-protection?

Her story invites us to reflect on our own boundaries and the cost of trust betrayed. What would you do if faced with a similar betrayal? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep this conversation going!

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