Am I wrong for wanting a divorce?
A shared home office, a lively toddler, and a well-oiled household paint a picture of teamwork for a 36-year-old man and his wife. Yet, beneath the surface, a quiet ache grows—he craves emotional intimacy that his wife, drained by life’s demands, seems unable to offer. Despite his efforts to support her recharge time, their connection frays, leaving him feeling more like a roommate than a partner. Couples therapy hasn’t bridged the gap, pushing him to wrestle with a heart-wrenching question: is divorce the answer?
This isn’t about dramatic betrayals or clashes—it’s a slow unraveling of a once-close bond. The man’s heart sinks as date nights feel empty and therapy stalls. Is he wrong to consider walking away from a marriage that shines on paper but starves his soul? Let’s dive into this poignant struggle and explore the weight of unmet emotional needs.
‘Am I wrong for wanting a divorce?’
Emotional intimacy is the lifeblood of a lasting marriage, and its absence can erode even the most functional partnerships. This man’s struggle highlights a common issue: unbalanced emotional labor in the chaos of parenting and work. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, notes, “When partners feel unseen or unappreciated, resentment can build, threatening the relationship’s core” (source: Gottman Institute, 2020). The wife’s unavailability, despite the man’s efforts to support her, signals a disconnect that therapy hasn’t resolved.
The wife’s defensiveness in therapy and skepticism toward psychology, rooted in her unresolved childhood trauma, hinder progress. A 2022 study found 47% of couples cite emotional neglect as a key therapy issue, often tied to unaddressed trauma (source: Journal of Marital Therapy). The man’s role—supporting her while neglecting his own needs—mirrors a caregiver dynamic, unsustainable without mutual effort.
Switching therapists could help, as Reddit users suggest, to better navigate the wife’s defenses. The man should clearly articulate his breaking point in therapy, framing it as a need for partnership rather than blame. If no progress follows, consulting a divorce attorney to understand co-parenting and financial implications may clarify his path, balancing his well-being with his son’s stability.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit users offered a blend of tough love and practical advice, grappling with the man’s dilemma. Here’s what they had to say:
![[Reddit User] − Have you brought up in counseling how close to divorce you feel? Have you told her how you feel she is being dismissive of your needs? I don’t think you are the AH if you divorce. I do think it’s easy for people on here to tell you to do it but you have to live with the reality.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/148005cmt-09.png)
These Reddit takes are raw, but do they oversimplify a complex issue? Is divorce the only way forward, or could a new approach in therapy shift the dynamic?
This marriage’s slow fade leaves us aching for a couple lost in life’s grind. The man, pouring himself into a partnership that leaves him empty, faces a gut-wrenching choice: stay and hope or walk away for his own peace. Was he wrong to consider divorce, or is it a courageous step toward reclaiming his needs? How would you navigate a marriage where emotional connection slips away? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!
