Am I wrong for thinking about divorcing my wife?

A marriage once filled with shared hobbies is now a battlefield of control and hurt. A 30-year-old man, worn down by his wife’s tantrums, physical hits, and relentless demands, is questioning if love is worth the pain.

This isn’t just about a rough patch; it’s a raw look at a breaking point. His story pulls us into a home where patience frays under abuse, leaving us wondering when enough is enough.

‘Am I wrong for thinking about divorcing my wife?’

This man’s marriage is a textbook case of abuse, not a partnership. His wife’s hitting, tantrums, and demands—like forcing him to sit idly while she reads manga—strip away his autonomy. Isolating him from his parents for five years over trivial issues like their cooking smells or political views is a calculated move to control his world. Her claim that he “enjoys” being hit, despite his clear objections, is gaslighting, designed to silence his pain.

Her refusal of intimacy, paired with body-shaming his fit, 180-pound frame as “fat,” is emotional cruelty meant to erode his confidence. A 2021 Journal of Interpersonal Violence study shows 35% of emotional abuse cases escalate to physical acts, mirroring her behavior. Her unchecked temper, even after years of his patience, suggests deep-seated issues that won’t resolve without serious intervention.

Psychologist Dr. Lundy Bancroft notes, “Abusers rarely change without accountability and professional help” (. His wife shows no sign of either, making change unlikely. His tolerance, once a strength, now enables her, risking further harm if he stays, especially if children are involved.

He needs a safety net: documenting incidents, seeking therapy to process trauma, and consulting a lawyer to explore divorce. Leaving is daunting, but staying in a cycle of abuse is costlier.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit strongly urged the man to leave, calling his wife’s hitting, gaslighting, and isolation tactics blatantly abusive. They slammed her body-shaming and controlling demands, like banning his parents’ visits or forcing him to sit idly, as manipulative. Many warned against having kids with her, fearing worse behavior, and shared stories of escaping similar abuse to regain peace. They suggested therapy, legal advice, and reconnecting with his parents, insisting he deserves better than this toxic marriage.

This marriage isn’t a partnership—it’s a prison. His wife’s abuse, from fists to insults, has eroded what once felt like love, and his doubts are a call to break free. As he weighs divorce, it’s a reminder that self-worth trumps sunken costs. How do you escape a toxic relationship? Share your story—what’s your first move to freedom?