Am I wrong for telling my boyfriend if he doesn’t shower I’m leaving him?

In a once-cozy apartment, a foul stench sours a three-year romance. A 20-year-old woman gags as her boyfriend, swayed by a YouTube guru’s claim that skipping showers is “healthier,” ditches hygiene for a month. Her pleas for a bath are met with tantrums, pushing her to scream, “Shower, or I’m gone!” She bolts to a hotel, dodging his frantic texts.

This isn’t just about body odor; it’s a raw tale of boundaries and red flags. Readers might wince, picturing her holding her nose while he douses himself in cologne. His shift from clean-cut to stubbornly unwashed hints at deeper issues, and Reddit’s chorus weighs in with fiery takes. Is she right to draw the line, or is there more to his bizarre rebellion? Let’s dive into this messy breakup saga.

‘Am I wrong for telling my boyfriend if he doesn’t shower I’m leaving him?’

My boyfriend M 21 and me F 20 have been dating for 3 years, the relationship was going amazing until last month. He was watching YouTube and came across a video of a creator talking about how they don’t shower for months at a time because apparently it’s “healthier”.

So he stopped showering and everytime i mention to him that he needs to shower because it’s f-king GROSS! He gets mad and storms off. I’ve been mentioning that he needs to shower for the past 3 weeks now and he refuses. We got into a huge argument (we never fight) and it got to the point where I screamed at him and told him that he smells like BO and if he doesn’t shower I’m leaving him.

I eventually packed a bag with essentials grabbed my car keys and rented a hotel room for 2 nights.. he blew up my phone non stop telling me he’s sorry and to come home.. I eventually had to block his number due to him sending me 20 messages at a time and having over 40 missed calls from him..

he used to take 3 showers a day, wear expensive cologne, and wear deodorant.. now he won’t shower, showers himself in cologne and he won’t wear deodorant.. everytime he hugs me or gets close to me I gag! What do I do?

This couple’s hygiene spat stinks of deeper trouble. The boyfriend’s month-long shower strike, triggered by a YouTube video, dismisses his girlfriend’s discomfort, while his tantrums and obsessive texts scream immaturity. Her ultimatum and breakup mark a bold stand for self-respect, leaving them both adrift in a haze of distrust.

Extreme behavior like this often hints at mental health issues. A 2022 study by the National Alliance on Mental Illness notes that abrupt hygiene neglect can signal depression or distorted thinking. Dr. John Grohol, a psychology expert, explains, “Neglecting hygiene may reflect emotional distress or skewed beliefs” (Psychology Today). The boyfriend’s swing from obsessive cleanliness to stubborn filth suggests something’s off, worsened by his refusal to hear her out.

The girlfriend wisely prioritized her health—unhygienic partners can spread infections, per WebMD. She could urge him toward therapy via BetterHelp, while his family might push for a professional evaluation. For others facing such red flags, setting firm boundaries and seeking guidance from the American Psychological Association can safeguard well-being.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s posse dove into this smelly saga like a lively street market, tossing out quips, warnings, and no-nonsense takes. It’s a digital soapbox where everyone’s got a hot opinion on this hygiene horror show. Here’s the raw scoop, packed with wit and a whiff of disgust:

babyshark75 − your bf is n**ty af. dumb af for listening to influencers.

DanelleDee − Honestly, I'd be concerned he needs a mental health evaluation. Three showers a day is excessive, this is beyond the pale. Going from one extreme to another like that without a gradual decline sounds like the guy has a s**ew loose. Not your responsibility to mother him, I think you'd be totally justified in leaving.

JayNoi91 − Yeah that's n**ty, sounds like there's no middle ground with him, either he's a step below a hypochondriac with a million showers or he's cosplaying a b**. There's a lot of things you can compromise on in a relationship, but hygiene isnt one of them.

Future_Falcon_7233 − Theirs a lot of red flags here.. 1. Didn't care about your confort and your opinion. 2. Highly influenced by random video ( what will be the next dumb advice he will follow?). 3. Leave you a gross amount of calls and messages instead of letting you getting a breath(literally). He's still really immature.

Francie1966 − Not showering is a deal breaker for me. I fell & broke my stupid hip last week. I got out of the hospital yesterday & am trying to figure out the best way to take a shower without getting the surgical dressing wet.. I can't imagine not showering for a month.

GreatCaesarGhost − People who take life advice from YouTube are not people to be around.

PeachesSwearengen − Refusing to ever clean one’s body is an indication of mental illness, especially if he won’t wash his private parts, underarms, hair, feet - anything that grows harmful, smelly bacteria when dirty.

If I loved him I would meet him for a serious conversation and if he still will not agree to shower regularly then I would tell him I’m unable to be with him any longer and ask him to see a therapist. There is something going on with him other than being influenced by a youtube video. Good luck to you both.

Snafudumonde − These dudes can't step over the lowest of bars.

Chickennuggballz − Also don’t mind the username it’s a cover up! And a fake account..

[Reddit User] − Leave. He is one YouTube video away from storing his p**s in bottles to

These Redditors don’t mince words, slamming the boyfriend’s “nasty” choice or spotting mental health red flags. Some cheer the girlfriend’s exit; others warn of his YouTube-fueled folly. Their takes are sharp, but do they catch the full stench of this breakup, or just stir the pot?

This Reddit drama lays bare a relationship sunk by a YouTube-inspired hygiene boycott and unchecked red flags. It’s a stark reminder that love shouldn’t stink—literally or figuratively. Readers might nod at her escape or ponder his unraveling, wondering where trust went wrong. Share your thoughts: how do you handle deal-breakers in your relationships?

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