Am I wrong for taking my kids car away right before their 18th birthday because they got another speeding ticket?

The screech of tires fades as a 17-year-old pulls into the driveway, her latest speeding ticket burning a hole in her pocket. Her parents, fed up with her reckless driving and cavalier attitude, yank the keys to her gifted car just weeks before her 18th birthday. But when family members cry foul, calling them “mean” and “unreasonable,” the decision feels like a battleground.

This story of tough love and family drama dives into the heart of parenting a risky teen. As the parents stand firm against a chorus of critics, readers are left wondering: when does discipline outweigh family harmony?

‘Am I wrong for taking my kids car away right before their 18th birthday because they got another speeding ticket?’

My daughter (17) was gifted/given her grandmothers car because she was no longer able to drive. Her dad drove hours away to get it road ready and did the paperwork to take legal possession of it. Two months later, she got a speeding ticket doing 82 in a 55.

She went to court and when asked of what occurred she stated that while she *was* speeding, the State Trooper who ticketed her was rude during the stop. She believed she should have been given a warning because she just got her drivers license less than a year ago.

The Judge obviously took that into consideration and sentenced her to driving school. She complained that she didn’t want to go. With that, the Judge deferred to the DA who then told her she could do it online! She was annoyed about that too, but agreed to it. She had 60 days to complete it, but proceeded to blow that off.

She returned to court (on her own) because she missed the due date for completion of the class. Somehow she was then given an extension by the Magistrate for another 60 days! She didn’t bother with that until we told her that she was close to losing the car if she didn’t follow up accordingly. She finally completed the online class.

Within months of this, she gets another speeding ticket + reckless driving. This time with her dad in the front passenger seat. 79 in a 55. He had already told her to slow down because it was raining when she decided to pass an unmarked police car that was already in the passing lane, but, doing the speed limit.

She passed in the slow lane. My husband was furious. But he was more disappointed that she could be so risky and nonchalant. This time she needed an attorney because shes been ticketed in a short time frame for the same offense. She is paying the fees associated with this.

However, because of this second ticket, our pending insurance increase, and, her lack of accountability, we decided that it was time to take the car back. Initially she had it *until* she turned 18. (She leaves for College two days after her 18th birthday,

and wasn’t taking the car with her) Now my MIL, SIL, and even her adult cousins are browbeating us because shes been crying to them about how ‘mean’ and ‘unreasonable’ we are because shes paying the fees for the tickets and we are ‘ruining her upcoming 18th birthday’.

Them getting on our case about it is beyond aggravating. None of them has to deal with her behavior. My MIL even said recently that it was actually still *her* car and we technically don’t get a say in who drives it?! What?! I do not feel that we are wrong. What gives?!?. 

Parenting a teen driver is like steering through a storm, and this daughter’s speeding saga tests her parents’ resolve. Two tickets—82 and 79 in a 55 zone—plus reckless driving show a pattern of danger, not just youthful error. Taking her car before her 18th birthday was a bold move, but family pushback muddies their stand.

A 2023 report by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration found that teen drivers are 3 times more likely to crash, with speeding a top factor (nhtsa). Her disregard for driving school and court deadlines, as noted in , signals entitlement over accountability.

Dr. Laurence Steinberg, a teen behavior expert, states, “Consequences teach responsibility when privileges are at stake” (ldsteinberg). The parents’ decision, though harsh, aims to protect her and others, especially with college looming. Family criticism, like the grandmother’s claim over the car, undermines their authority.

For similar cases, experts suggest clear rules, like tying driving to compliance, and ignoring external noise. Documenting incidents helps justify tough calls. The parents’ choice prioritizes safety over sentiment, a tough but defensible line.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s crew dove into this family feud like it’s a heated town hall, cheering the parents’ tough love and tossing shade at the teen’s recklessness. Picture a lively diner debate, with folks raising coffee mugs to accountability and scoffing at family meddling. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd, brimming with grit and a splash of sass:

Fritemare − Your daughter is a dangerous driver. I absolutely would not give that car back. She is just going to keep speeding.

weaponized_chef −

Vicious_Lilliputian − You are not wrong. Your daughter is a dangerous driver and will end up hurting someone if she doesn't grow a brain quickly.

sun4moon − Please keep her off the road, for all of us.

Remarkable-Ground-66 − Dude, she's literally about to get it taken anyway. At least this way she can get it back without having to pay fines and towing and everything else. How on any earth would you be wrong?

AccomplishedEdge982 − If you are paying her car insurance, you have every right to stop allowing her to drive it. If whoever gave her the car (along with all the flying monkeys) don't like it, THEY can pay for her car insurance.

offalshade − The way she reacted to the driving school makes me believe she’s a little princess. Taking the car away is the right thing to do. Teach her some accountability

AlwaysGreen2 − Then tell MIL, she can do as she will with the car but you and husband are going no contact.. Tell MIL that if anything happens to your daughter in that car, it will be on her.. Then do it.. Go no contact.. Block her from all forms of contact.. Any pray that your child develops some common sense.

Far-Ad-9798 − Your daughter sounds entitled, quite honestly. 2 tickets in less than a year, how in the world does she still have a license?

jamiekynnminer − Not wrong. You're literally trying to save the lives of your community as well as your daughter. Driving is a privilege not a right. You're the parent still and honestly she would not be the only one accountable if she killed someone. Those relatives have zero financial responsibility if she should do real damage on the road, they're not paying for her fees or attorney. Block them out.
These Redditors are all in, backing the parents for pulling the car while slamming the daughter’s “princess” attitude. Some urge cutting off pushy relatives; others stress her threat to public safety. The takes are as sharp as a gear shift, cutting through family drama with fierce support for discipline. This saga’s got the crowd roaring, proving safety trumps birthday tears.

This car-key clash shows parenting isn’t about winning popularity contests—it’s about keeping kids safe. The parents’ stand against their teen’s speeding stirred family strife but held firm for her future. Would you have taken the car or given her another chance? Drop your take below and let’s unpack this tangle of tough love and teen rebellion!

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