Am I wrong for Shazamming a song that someone didn’t want to share the name or artist of?

At a lively birthday bash, the scent of fresh pastries fills the air as a Reddit user enjoys her celebration. But when her boyfriend’s cousin, Alexa, plays a catchy song, a simple question about the artist ignites unexpected drama. Alexa’s rude refusal to share the song’s details turns a fun moment into a petty feud, leaving the birthday girl baffled and reaching for Shazam.

What unfolds is a hilarious clash of egos, with accusations of “hacking” and bullying flying wild. The Reddit user’s tale of music gatekeeping and family theatrics hooks readers with its absurdity. Is Shazamming a song really an invasion, or is Alexa’s tantrum just teenage nonsense?

‘Am I wrong for Shazamming a song that someone didn’t want to share the name or artist of?’

This happened yesterday, my boyfriend and I were throwing a little kickback for my birthday party. His cousin Alexa (19) set a timer on her phone because we were baking pastries. Her timer went off and a song caught my attention, we were already done in the kitchen so we were just sitting down letting it play on the couch and I asked “who is this artist?” And she flat-out ignored me.

I asked her again “I never heard this song, can I have the name?” . That’s when she told me If I don’t know then I just don’t know and that I should just stick to mainstream. I told her I listen to everything but she tried to tell me that she knows my music taste and all I listen to are “stupid rappers” and named Kendrick Lamar as an example.

We got into a little debate about King Kenny for awhile and she told me that the song was made by a small artist and trying to decipher his lyrics might hurt my shallow mind. I got fed up and Shazammed the song. It was Mary-Alex G. When she saw me saving it to my playlist she got up and snatched her phone then stormed out.

I ignored her little tantrum but then her brother came to me and asked what I did to her because she told everyone I was being argumentative with her, bullied her and violated her privacy. When I said I don’t understand how anything of what I said came off as “bullying” because we just talked about music and I Shazammed her song but her brother actually agreed and said that was invasive and weird for me to do.

They packed some plates and left abruptly and I was just left feeling so weird about it. Everyone else stayed and I enjoyed the rest of my party. This morning my boyfriend’s mom texted me and said that I should probably call her niece aka Alexa and apologize for “going through her phone for a song” and “using some hacking device”.

She texted me Alexa’s number to apologize and I texted her “Don’t get hung on petty things”. Next thing you know her big brother is calling me, I haven’t answered my phone yet and have like 5 missed calls.. Is Shazam invasive and am I in the wrong?

Edit: My boyfriend just called his mom to explain the full story and she just started laughing because Alexa completely twisted the entire situation and is trying to tell everyone I hacked her phone just to make fun of her music and tried to “force” her to listen to “gangster” rap.

My boyfriend just called his cousin (Alexa’s older brother) and told him not to bring her over anymore and now she’s crying. She sent some paragraphs I am not reading, she’s blocked until she apologizes to me. This little girl is a compulsive liar. I just can’t believe so much drama because of a song. I’m not going to let this ruin my birthday weekend though.

Update: Lol this was sooner than I thought it would be but my boyfriend just handed me his phone with her on the line crying and apologizing. She said her behavior was because of PMS and she’s sorry for starting drama on my birthday. I honestly think she just got embarrassed for getting caught in her lie.

Everyone knows that she stretches the truth too and when she got a little backlash I guess that was too much for her. Another Update: lmfao I heard another side of her story from my friend and apparently when she stormed off she was telling her that I snatched her phone from her to hack into her phone. She is a full blown liar! And of course everyone ignored her! Except for her brother. Smh, my head actually hurts.

Music gatekeeping can turn a fun party into a battleground of egos. The Reddit user’s clash with Alexa highlights a common social quirk: the urge to hoard “unique” tastes as a badge of identity. Dr. Pamela Rutledge, a media psychologist, notes, “People often use cultural preferences like music to define their individuality, especially in adolescence” (Psychology Today). Alexa’s refusal to share the song, paired with her insults about the OP’s “shallow” taste, reeks of this territorial mindset.

Alexa’s reaction—calling Shazam invasive—stems from a bruised sense of exclusivity. The OP, on the other hand, just wanted to enjoy a song, using a widely available app. This isn’t about privacy; it’s about control. Teens like Alexa often gatekeep to feel special, but as Rutledge suggests, sharing culture can build connection, not diminish it. Statistically, 68% of Gen Z value authenticity in social interactions (YPulse, 2023), yet Alexa’s behavior leans toward performative superiority.

The broader issue? Gatekeeping stifles cultural exchange. When people hoard music or art, they limit its reach, ironically harming the artists they claim to champion. For the OP, Shazamming was a practical move, not a personal attack. Advice? Let Alexa cool off, but don’t apologize for curiosity.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one—cue the popcorn! Here are some spicy takes from the community, served with a side of humor:

Mataelio − No, you’re not wrong. She was being a s**tty little hipster about her music, and if anyone was bullying anyone is was her bullying you about your taste in music and your intellect.

RamenNoodles620 − Not wrong. She played the song to everyone, someone liked it and found out what it was using an app because for some reason Alexa was gate keeping a song she played willingly to other people. You didn't go through her phone to find out the song. She doesn't own the song and was already playing it for others to listen.

What a strange and dramatic reaction to a reasonable request and question. Guess that's what happens when you make liking little known artists your personality. Her family seems way too hung up about this too. Based on their reaction, seems like they coddle and enable her bratty and dramatic behavior.

KidenStormsoarer − f**k that little hipster b**ch. this is why nobody likes hipsters, she's just trying to gatekeep her music. if she were actually a fan, she'd be excited to share it and create new fans. block her and move on with your life.

greeblebob − Lol Kendrick has a pulitzer prize and Alex G isn’t even a deep cut, your bf’s cousin is an i**ot.

zanne54 − “Trying to decipher his lyrics might hurt your shallow mind”. What a snarky, bitchy, rude thing to say. Hell no, don’t apologize. If your boyfriend doesn’t stand up for you and put his extended family in their place, including his n**ty cousin, I’d reconsider continuing the relationship.

idkwhyimdoingthis2 − As if she’s gatekeeping Alex G-Mary as if it’s not a viral song on TikTok lately and that is where she will have got it from herself🤣 tell her that her and her brother are little weirdos

ihatemopping − Ha ha ha ha! Troll or not this is hysterical! Even my 84 yr old mom knows what Shazam is and loves it. I’m dying laughing at someone trying to explain this as hacking her playlist!

webpoke − NTA. Sounds like a very teenager response to a simple question. I'm guessing she forgot the name of the artist/song and just got overly defensive not knowing how to answer you. This one made me actually lol.

[Reddit User] − F**king teenagers- so g**damn dramatic. In what world is identifying a song you like considered bullying or an i**asion of privacy? Sound like she has some real growing up to do.

JIMMYJAWN − If you play something without headphones you have zero expectations of privacy. Also, I’m sure that artist wants all the fans they can get. Gatekeeping is s**tty but she’s still a teenager and is moody and is probably having an internal struggle about her identity going into adulthood. The family taking her side and not explaining all this to her is the real problem. That’s how we end up with bratty adults.

These Reddit hot takes are gold, but do they cut through the drama or just add fuel to the fire? One thing’s clear: the internet loves a good petty showdown.

This birthday party saga proves that even a simple song can spark a family feud worthy of a reality show. The Reddit user stood her ground, Shazam in hand, refusing to let Alexa’s gatekeeping ruin her day. But the real question lingers: where’s the line between curiosity and crossing boundaries? Have you ever faced a music snob or a family member blowing things out of proportion? Drop your thoughts below—what would you do in this Shazam showdown?

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