Am I wrong for not wanting my nephew’s new girlfriend to stay overnight?

Picture a quiet suburban home, where the hum of daily life is suddenly disrupted by an unexpected guest. A generous couple, opening their doors to their young nephew, find themselves in a whirlwind when he announces a stranger—a girl he’s known online for just two weeks—needs a place to crash. The wife’s unease is palpable, and the husband’s torn between compassion and caution. What starts as a simple favor spirals into a clash of boundaries and tempers.

This story crackles with the tension of family loyalty tested by impulsive choices. As the nephew pushes to help his new friend, the homeowners grapple with protecting their safe haven. Readers are drawn into the drama: is it fair to shut the door on someone in need, or is caution the wiser path? Let’s dive into this tangled tale of trust and tough calls.

‘Am I wrong for not wanting my nephew’s new girlfriend to stay overnight?’

So my wife (44f) and I (48m) have let my nephew (25m) move into the downstairs room so he can save money before he gets his own apartment. He's been with us for a few months and within the next couple months he plans to move into an apartment that his father owns. I love him living here and it's been great.

He's been chatting with a girl online for two weeks, and yesterday she told him she has nowhere to live after moving out of her ex-bf place, so he tells me he's going to go get her and bring her here and then figure out what to do. Okay fine, but then he says she'll be staying the night, and I'm actually okay with that but my wife is against it because this girl is a stranger to us. I agree with my wife.

I tell him he needs to get a hotel for the night, he's understands and they went to the hotel last night around 9. This morning he shows up with her and they're hanging out downstairs now. He comes up and I ask him what the plan is, he says he's going to work (from home) and hang out with the girl and then

Pretty sure he's going to want her to stay here tonight, am I wrong for making him get a hotel room again tonight? I feel bad cause this girl is apparently homeless... then again that fact feels like a possible red flag to me, like why is she homeless I don't know anything about this girl. It's a really weird situation.

Welcoming a guest into your home is like inviting a new character into your story—exciting, but risky. This couple’s hesitation to host a stranger their nephew barely knows is a classic boundary-setting move. The nephew’s quick attachment to a girl in distress, while heartfelt, raises red flags about judgment, especially in a shared living space.

This scenario taps into a broader issue: navigating houseguest etiquette in family dynamics. A 2022 survey by YouGov found 68% of Americans prefer clear rules for overnight guests in shared homes. The couple’s insistence on a hotel reflects a need for safety and control, particularly with an unknown person.

Relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, advises, “Respecting boundaries is a cornerstone of healthy relationships” (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn). Here, the nephew’s failure to consult his hosts breached trust. Chapman’s insight suggests open dialogue could have clarified expectations early.

For the couple, a calm discussion with the nephew about house rules is key. They might offer limited daytime visits while maintaining the hotel rule. Share your thoughts below!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out warnings with a side of suspicion. Here’s the community’s spicy take on the drama:

facinationstreet − You aren't wrong and here's why: *He's been* ***chatting with a girl online for two weeks****, and yesterday she told him* ***she has nowhere to live after moving out of her ex-bf place*** He doesn't know her either, she is relationship and bed hopping, she's obviously not in a stable place and your house isn't a homeless shelter.

This could turn out very badly for you as the homeowner - she could decide to become a squatter, she could force you to have to try to evict her, she could be some kind of k**k who trashes your place, steals your stuff and moves on to the next victim, etc. Sure, she could be lovely but you can figure out if she is from a distance.

monkey-pox − Sounds like a honeypot to me, setup to rob you

SpinachnPotatoes − This is not someone he has been dating for 6 months that he actually knows This is a stranger. It is a stranger that he has spoken to on the internet for the last 2 weeks. What's the odds that it's only 1 night. 1 night to 1 weekend to 1 week to 1 month ..... If she has no income, no job what's her plans? If you feel that you want to help perhaps a week at a motel so she can get on her feet. But a stranger in your home - hard pass

1indaT − NTA. Nobody, including your nephew, knows this girl. Do not have her stay at your house even one night.

cursetea − It is weird that SHE feels comfortable staying with a complete stranger at his family's house. Something is absolutely off.

SuperHuckleberry125 − Have an HONEST conversation about why a clear stranger to YOU AND YOUR WIFE is not allowed to stay in your house. The inform your nephew, in whose home he has so generously been allowed to stay in, that even though he is staying there he is still a GUEST in your house and he should be aware of guest rules.

Primary one being to ASK the owners of the place you are staying if you can have overnight guests and not to just drop the idea off right before it happens. You don't know this girl from Eve and nephew just meet her. How much does ANYONE know about her. Your house is your safe space not a spot to help the homeless.. NTA

stfrances2968 − You’re not wrong. You don’t know her but NEITHER does your nephew. I’m sorry but it sounds like he’s being used.

Letzrotltr − The entire situation is sketchy as hell. He doesn’t know her at all. Sounds like she may have been on the brink of homelessness and was smooth talking whatever sucker would lick so she can have a place to live. I watch a s**t ton of true crime, I would never.

Battleaxe1959 − 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

SenpaiBoogie − I think your right for what you did bc you don’t know her at all . You own the place you gotta make the rules . If you’re ok with letting her stay I’d go with you and your wife and your nephew and the girl and see what she’s like and go from there . Get to know her and get a read on her

These Redditors smell trouble, but is it really a scam or just youthful naivety? One thing’s clear: the internet’s got opinions, and they’re not shy about it!

This tale leaves us wrestling with the balance between generosity and self-preservation. The couple’s firm stance protected their home, but at the cost of family harmony. How do you handle a loved one’s risky choices in your space? Drop your thoughts below—what would you do if a stranger showed up at your door? Let’s keep the debate alive!

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