Am I wrong for not getting over my wife cheating?
A man’s heart sank when he learned his fiancée had cheated, but her tears and pleas convinced him to stay. Years later, married with two kids, he’s trapped in a cycle of resentment that’s poisoned their life together. Her refusal to discuss the betrayal or engage in therapy left him without closure, questioning if he’s wrong for holding onto the pain. As an autistic man who calls himself a “lonely loser,” his struggle to process this hurt runs deep.
His Reddit post lays bare a marriage strained by unspoken truths and a wife’s dismissal of his needs. The story sparks questions about forgiveness, trust, and the cost of staying in a relationship without resolution. With their children caught in the middle, his plea for advice resonates with anyone who’s faced betrayal and wondered if moving on is possible.
‘Am I wrong for not getting over my wife cheating?’
Betrayal cuts deep, and this man’s unresolved pain shows how infidelity can haunt a marriage. His wife’s refusal to discuss her cheating or engage in therapy dismisses his need for closure, leaving him stuck. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, says, “Trust is built in very small moments… and broken trust requires accountability to heal.” Her silence and gaslighting—calling it “his issue”—block that healing, fueling resentment.
Infidelity affects 20-40% of marriages, per a 2018 study by the American Psychological Association, and unresolved betrayal often leads to emotional distance. The man’s autism may heighten his need for clear communication, making her evasiveness even more damaging. Society often pressures men to “move on,” but his feelings are valid.
Dr. Gottman suggests couples rebuild trust through honest dialogue and accountability. Individual therapy could help the man process his emotions and decide whether to stay or leave. He’s not wrong for struggling—closure requires two willing partners.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
The Reddit community unloaded with empathy and tough love, serving up takes as raw as an open wound. Here’s a peek at the top comments that fueled the thread:
![[Reddit User] − Not wrong at all. When you love someone, you try to get past issues because you want it to work. My child's mother cheated on me before we had a kid. I forgave her, then we stayed together for 5 years. But in those 5 years, I never trusted her again. I tried. I'm sure you did too, but once you're betrayed by someone you love, it's nearly impossible to ever trust them again.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/145650cmt-03.png)
![[Reddit User] − Not wrong, but you shouldn’t have gotten married.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/145650cmt-05.png)
![[Reddit User] − We often settle with what we think we deserve. The fact that you're autistic should not hold you back from splitting with your wife and start a new chapter of your life.. Also, once a cheater always a cheater!!!](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/145650cmt-09.png)
These Reddit hot takes mix support with hard truths, but do they oversimplify a complex marriage? One thing’s clear: the crowd smells trouble when trust stays broken.
This man’s battle with his wife’s past infidelity isn’t just about forgiveness—it’s about a marriage starved of honesty. Her refusal to face the issue left him carrying a burden alone, while their kids grow up in a home shadowed by resentment. His story forces us to ask: can love survive without accountability? If you were in his shoes, would you stay or walk away? Share your thoughts below and let’s dig into what it takes to heal—or move on.
