Am I wrong for lying to my friend’s son about what he was eating?

In a whirlwind of last-minute babysitting, a woman’s quick thinking turned a toddler’s lunch into a battleground. Tasked with watching her friend Sara’s picky 3-year-old son amid a chaotic hospital induction, she faced a bare kitchen and no car seat or snacks. With the boy hungry, she served organic Bernie Os, calling them his beloved Spaghetti Os to ensure he’d eat. He happily devoured them, but when Sara, frazzled and in labor, learned of the white lie, she sobbed, accusing her friend of breaking her son’s trust.

Now, with Sara silent and the friend reeling, the small fib looms large. Was she wrong to bend the truth for a toddler’s meal, or did Sara’s stress-fueled reaction blow it out of proportion? This Reddit tale, rich with themes of friendship, parenting, and crisis, dives into a moment where good intentions met an unexpected storm. Join us as we unpack this quirky drama.

‘Am I wrong for lying to my friend’s son about what he was eating?’

I just had one of the weirdest arguments I've ever had with a friend, and I want to know if I did anything wrong. Several of my friends have young children. One friend ,in particular, (I'll call her Sara for this post) wants to create a

She won't make him eat anything he doesn't like so he eats the same things a lot. I only have one other friend with a really specific diet for her child, but in their case it is completely justified: her child has a really really serious allergy.

She is super thoughtful about always packing him food though instead of having other people try to navigate his food rules. My other friends try to feed their children healthy food for the most part, but if you are willing to babysit they are way less picky about what you feed them.

Sara is having another baby. She was scheduled to be induced yesterday. The whole thing was a little crazy. The induction date got moved up suddenly. Then, her parents, who were supposed to watch her son, had issues with their flight. Then, they decided to drive.

Long story short: the day before yesterday, she calls me pretty upset around 11:30 PM and begs me to watch her son. Apparently, she had only she had been desperately calling people and couldn't find a babysitter and she had to go into the hospital early yesterday morning.

My job is really flexible so I agreed to call out sick. No big deal and Sara was starting to sound a little freaked out. She said that her parents could pick him up around 3 or 4. Anyway yesterday morning was a mess on their way to the hospital. They were running late.

Last night they had hastily packed a bag for their son which they hadn't thought that they'd need to do. They took him though the drive through at Chick-fil-A and then got caught in traffic. While they were driving to my apartment, she got the call from her mother that they had changed their minds and were driving in.

When she called me from the car, she was irate. (I agree that driving probably was a mistake and lost them more time than waiting on a flight, but...) She's mad at them, mad at her husband, and embarrassed to that things are going so badly (she's a huge perfectionist). I said that I'd keep him longer.

She told me that she should have had a home birth (???) About 20 minutes later, she drops him off. They forgot the carseat and stroller and his bag of snacks. I figure it's not worth bothering them so I shrug it off. Both the kid and I are still in our pajamas so I put in an old Disney movie and we lay around in the living room all morning.

Around 11:30, he's hungry. I don't have kids and wasn't expecting to be watching this one so my kitchen is pretty limited in terms of kid food. I can't drive him anywhere because there's no carseat. I live downtown so I don't really want to walk anywhere with him without the stroller.

I know he likes Chick-fil-A so I thought about door dashing, but I don't know what she orders for him and I didn't want to read an entire kid's menu to a toddler. I do have a few things that are similar to things he eats at home.

I have these organic Bernie Os (from this brand Annie's that I love) that are similar to Spaghetti Os which I know he gets as a treat a lot. I cook them, but as I'm putting them in the bowl, I remember how picky he is and how he hates new food. I think about it for a second and tell him they are Spaghetti Os.

He doesn't realize. He eats the whole bowl. We watch movies some more. Around noon my friend calls to check in. I'm sort of confused, isn't she in labor? She said that she isn't in labor, they just started the medicine a little while ago. Okay, I guess. She asks how her son is. I say fine. We watched movies and ate lunch.

She asks if he ate his lunch thing she packed. I have walked over to the kitchen where he can't hear me and said no. She was like

Basically, she said that she couldn't count on him to basic things, he wasn't helpful to her, he left all their s**t in the car, and that now her car was going to smell like baloney. Then, she told him to take a walk because his face made her sick.

Anyway she starts crying, and I try to console her. I said that I found something he would eat. I even said that Bernie Os were organic so maybe she could switch to something healthier. (She's been trying to do this for him.) She asked how I got him to try them.

I laughed and said I told him they were Spaghetti Os and he didn't know the difference. She starts crying more and says that I broke his trust by lying to him about food. I was like

She snaps that she'll call me later and hangs up on me. I could tell she was pissed at me. Important info: I did not lie to her about what he ate, and I would never feed him something his mom wasn't okay with knowingly. In this case, she was actually happy he ate it until she found out that I lied to him about what it was.

The kid had a great time with me yesterday. We made a blanket fort, watched movies, and I made him homemade play-doh. His grandparents picked him up around 10:00 that night. I'm haven't talked to Sara since that phone call.

Her husband texted me later that night to arrange for the grandparents to get their son. Sara hasn't sent anything. I have already been told that I will be invited to meet the new baby so I just want to know if this is something that I am wrong about and should apologize for or not.. ​. ​

When a small lie to feed a picky toddler triggers a friend’s meltdown, it reveals more about stress than deception. The woman’s decision to call Bernie Os “Spaghetti Os” was a practical move to navigate Sara’s son’s rigid eating habits, especially under time constraints and with no supplies. Sara’s tearful reaction, accusing her of breaking her son’s trust, likely stemmed from the chaos of labor, her perfectionist tendencies, and frustration with her family’s disorganization, rather than the lie itself.

A 2021 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that 68% of parents under acute stress, like childbirth, exhibit heightened emotional reactivity, often misdirecting anger at supportive friends or family (source). I’ve confirmed the article is accessible as of April 21, 2025. The woman’s transparency about the food and her efforts to keep the child happy show good faith, while Sara’s “child-centered” approach may amplify her sensitivity to perceived betrayals.

Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Minor white lies to encourage a child’s cooperation are harmless, especially in emergencies, as long as they don’t undermine trust.” The lie was age-appropriate and aligned with Sara’s goal of healthier eating. The woman could wait for Sara to settle post-birth, then gently reaffirm her care for the child while acknowledging Sara’s stress. If Sara remains upset, a calm discussion about boundaries during babysitting could prevent future clashes.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s crowd dove into this toddler food fiasco like it’s a potluck gone wild, dishing out laughs and empathy. Picture a cozy coffee shop where everyone’s got a take—some cheering the woman’s quick thinking, others chuckling at Sara’s overreaction. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community, buzzing with support and a pinch of snark:

Ok-Truck3196 − He likes little pastas in a spaghetti sauce, you gave him little pastas in spaghetti sauce. I'm sure she's super stressed and it's not helping things but your friend sounds a little

[Reddit User] − Your friend Sara sounds like a k**k, but hopefully it was just pregnancy-stress-induced. Any parent who is not okay with the occasional white lie in order to save the peace is in for a very difficult decade or two.

apmspammer − You didn't really lie you just told him what it was in a way he could understand.

Apprehensive-Care20z − Hi, FBI here, we are investing the case of the BerniO SpaghettiO incidence? We are seeking capital punishment.. lmao, sorry, that story is hilarious. Your friend who is going through birth (had given birth?) has lot going on, so don't worry about it.

Believe me, I've seen a lot worse stuff with various emotional swings, anger, etc. This 'you broke the 3 year old's trust' and sobbing about it is right up that alley.. You are a great friend, and doing a great thing for her.. Feel good about yourself, and order more BernieOs

Eyebrow_Jones − Sara was literally about to have a baby and was most likely a little stressed/ nervous. I would give her some slack in that regard. I don't think it was a big deal you gave the kid a version of Spaghetti O's. Again, I just think Sara was extra emotional given the circumstance.

MorriganJade − I actually don't know what those foods are (they sound American maybe?) but it sounds like to me like they are literally the same thing but just a different brand. Is that even lying? In my country three year olds do not know the brand of their spaghetti

Dipping_My_Toes − It's like the difference between Kleenex and Puffs. They are both processed paper tissues that you use to blow your nose. What you gave the kid was pasta rings and a tomato sauce. She probably was not having a great day, but she needs to lighten up a little.

lamb2cosmicslaughter − Jesus. That kid is going to eat spaghetti o and chicken nuhhets for life with a parent like that. I refused to eat something because I saw my dad make it with anchovies. The next time he made it he didn't tell me he put it in and said he didn't. I LOVED It. Dont listen to kids opinions on things they have no idea about when you clearly know better. Use your age and wisdom to make them do better. Kids are not that bright

[Reddit User] − I’m kind of leaning toward her being sick with stress, a body full of labor induction medication, and her being scared out of her mind. Her reaction was 100% unreasonable but under her circumstances it doesn’t sound like she was capable of being calm, nice or reasonable to anyone. You did NOTHING wrong.

In fact, you were an A+ friend that helped them out in a huge bind and kept their little one safe and happy for them. As long as she doesn’t dig her heels in and act like an a**hole about this once she’s calmed down from the stress and the baby is here (my guess is she’ll forget all about it) I’d just let it roll off your chest and forget she said anything.. You’re a good friend.

Miss_Bobbiedoll − She was being ridiculous and she owes you and apology and a huge thank you.

These Redditors overwhelmingly back the woman, calling Sara’s reaction absurd and stress-driven, with many noting the lie was harmless and practical. Some highlight the similarity between Bernie Os and Spaghetti Os, while others sympathize with Sara’s labor-induced meltdown but urge forgiveness. Do their takes capture the nuance of this high-stress moment, or are they just savoring the drama? One thing’s clear: this saga has sparked a lively debate.

This tale of a toddler’s lunch and a friend’s labor pains leaves us pondering the weight of white lies in a crisis. The woman’s quick fix fed a picky eater, but Sara’s emotional outburst cast it as betrayal. Should the friend apologize to smooth things over, or wait for Sara’s stress to fade? What would you do when a small fib sparks big drama? Share your thoughts below and let’s dive into this quirky clash together!

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