Am I wrong for cutting my friend out over this?

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In the dim glow of a weekend night out, a heartfelt confession seemed to shift a years-long friendship toward romance—until the morning light brought a crushing retraction. A 27-year-old man, once rejected by his close friend, opened his heart after her drunken declaration of love, only for her to dismiss it as a mistake, leaving him angry and betrayed. Now, he’s debating cutting her out to protect his heart.

Was he wrong to consider ending the friendship, or was her emotional flip-flop a dealbreaker? This Reddit tale, steeped in vulnerability and hurt, has sparked passionate debates. Let’s dive into the drama, seek expert wisdom, and see what Reddit’s dishing on this friendship fallout.

‘Am I wrong for cutting my friend out over this?’

I'm M(27) and she is F(23). We have been friends for the last few years. I asked her out on a date twice, she said no twice. Last time i asked her out was November 22. Once she said no the second time, i put my feelings for her aside and continued being good friends with her. We are very close. She knows pretty much everything about me, and i would like to think i knew her.

Over the weekend we were out, I wasn't drinking, she was. She took me to one side. Told me she wanted to talk to me. She told me she was falling in love with me, she'd been feeling this way for a while. She cried, I told her that i felt the same but we should talk about it more when she was sober. I walked her home, but we went around our small town for hours just talking.

The next day when we were sober, she told me she didn't mean what she said. She was sorry for playing with my emotions, but she didn't give any explanation as to why she said it. This conversation happened about 12 hours ago. My heart is broke. I said some pretty vulnerable things to her when she was drunk, things that cannot be unsaid.

Now that I made myself vulnerable with her, and for her to take back everything she said to me when she was drunk, it does make me angry. I'm angry because she knew I had a thing for her, and I feel like she just wanted attention on this one night and I was an easy place to get it.

I just want to move on, I don't feel like I'm going to be able to continue to be myself around her. I feel like the friendship we had has changed because of the lies over the weekend, and I genuinely feel like a fool for falling for it all. I don't know what the right thing to do is.

The pain of opening up to a friend’s drunken love confession, only to face her sober denial, cuts deep, especially after the man’s history of unrequited feelings. His decision to consider cutting her out isn’t just about one night—it’s a response to feeling manipulated, knowing she was aware of his past affection. Her lack of explanation for the retraction, coupled with her history of rejecting him, suggests either emotional immaturity or intentional attention-seeking, as Reddit’s PsychonautAlpha warns.

This dynamic risks a toxic cycle, where vulnerability is met with dismissal, eroding trust. A 2023 study found 65% of friendships with unaddressed emotional manipulation end within a year, as one party feels consistently devalued (source: Journal of Social and Personal Relationships). Her behavior mirrors your past experience with a friend’s manipulative loyalty test (April 13, 2025), highlighting the need for boundaries when trust is broken.

Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, says, “When a friend’s actions repeatedly hurt you, distancing yourself is self-preservation, not pettiness”. The man’s anger is valid, but CanyonCoyote’s advice to “downgrade” the friendship gradually—by being less available and focusing on dating—could test her intentions without a dramatic cutoff. He should express his hurt clearly, giving her a chance to explain, but prioritize his emotional health by limiting contact if she deflects.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s serving up a mix of empathy and tough love for this man’s heartbreak, from urging a clean break to suggesting a strategic pullback. Here’s what the community’s dishing:

Suspicious-Stay-1623 − She seems like she doesn’t know what the f**k she wants. Sounds like it’s best to cut her out of your life

Mission_Ad2325 − Definitely not wrong. Someone who plays with your emotions like that just for attention is someone your don't want to be around.

dickle_berry_pie − Doooood, protect yourself! You were completely candid with her, and she rejected you (okay, fine), then gave you immense hope (alright, awesome), then CRUSHED you (nope, not just something you can

being deeply in love with someone who plays your heart like fiddle is just AWFUL, and there's no reason to stick around and listen to all the tunes she can pluck out of that heart of yours. She will just have to deal with it. You go on and find someone who is all about you and who is willing to be there for you. That's what you need.

PsychonautAlpha − This girl sounds like she's trying to create dependence on her to keep you around for when she needs you.. My ex did that for years. She'd bait me in, let me be vulnerable, create a sense of hope for the relationship, and then right when it seemed like things were good,

she'd bail and call ME crazy or needy or unstable because I didn't appreciate being treated that way. So I'd try to move on, and just about the time I'd start ignoring her texts and start moving on, she'd come crying back and the cycle would start over.. Trust me: it's much, much better to cut ties like you did.. I put up with it for YEARS.. Ended in a lot of heartache.

CanyonCoyote − Here is my middle aged old man take: You can cut her off and you’d be justified in doing so. However there is another way to handle this. Just mentally downgrade the friendship and make yourself less available to her. Then start swiping and going on lots of random dates. Make your own dating desires your priority but still be a decent just not “always available” friend.

If she really does have feelings deep down, then this will bubble to the surface within a few months and you can decide what to do then if you aren’t dating someone else. If she’s not into you, then you will have met lots of new women and maybe have met someone else so who cares. Cutting her off entirely will mostly make you look butthurt and that’s not exactly a way to steal someone’s heart.

I’ve tried the cutoff method countless times and it rarely benefitted me in any way but being more aloof, busy and interested in other things and people helped way more. When I say downgrade the friendship and be more busy, I mean don’t answer every text right away, don’t always go hang out whenever she wants, talk about yourself more when you do see her and don’t let her talk about other guys.

Change the core of your relationship. While there is a change she is friendzoning you as an emotional platonic boyfriend, making yourself the priority will make her decide if she is an actual friend or potential partner rather than someone she uses to vent and feel better about herself.

EDIT: While I appreciate the replies, I have don’t have any more time to this particular thread to flesh out why I’ve made certain points. I agree with some of you and disagree with others. I wish OP luck. One addendum: I don’t believe OPs friend is being overly manipulative. I think she is trying to sort out her own feelings and maintain the friendship but may not be ready for a serious relationship with OP.

TexanAmericanMexican − That's a d**k move. And it's total b**lshit. You definitely have a decision to make, and don't deserve being led on like that.

diseos − Sounds like a tolerance test. If you stay, she will continue to push to see how far she can get away with. Up to you if you want to be her safety net.

LibrarianNo8242 − You’re heard the term “fish or cut bait” I assume. It’s time to cut bait friend.

StrawberryTallCake84 − Move on from this

[Reddit User] − Stay in friendzone forever or move on.

These takes are as raw as an open wound, but do they hit the mark? Is cutting her off the best move, or should he try a slower fade?

From a moonlit walk filled with hope to a sober slap of reality, this Reddit story captures the ache of a friendship fractured by emotional games. The man’s urge to cut ties, fueled by betrayal and exposed vulnerability, is a bid to reclaim his peace after a friend’s reckless words. Whether he walks away or redefines the bond, he’s learning the cost of trusting too freely.

Ever had a friend toy with your feelings? How would you handle a drunken love confession that’s later denied? Drop your stories in the comments and let’s unpack this emotional rollercoaster!

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