UPDATE: Am I wrong for being blindsided by a friend’s birthday dinner costing me $1100?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine a couple reeling from a $1,100 dinner bill, their wallets still stinging from a friend’s lavish 40th birthday feast. Expecting a pricey but manageable night, they were blindsided by a $540-per-person split, driven by a secret prix fixe menu and pricey wines they didn’t sip. Now, armed with the receipt, they’ve paid their true share—$666—leaving the hosts to cover the rest and their friendship on shaky ground.

Was their push for fairness a stand for justice, or did it risk burning bridges? This Reddit update, fresh from their post, dives deeper into the fallout of financial surprises, the power of transparency, and the delicate dance of maintaining friendships, with a community ready to toast or roast their move.

For those who want to read the previous part: Am I Wrong For Being Blindsided By A Friend’s Birthday Dinner Costing Me $1100?

‘UPDATE: Am I wrong for being blindsided by a friend’s birthday dinner costing me $1100?’

First off, if you’re interested in the full story, please check the original post. We (my wife and I) wish we had done more research, of course. We didn’t, because we’ve gone to plenty of expensive (to us) meals with this couple for anywhere from $100-$300, with $300 being the absolute most we’ve ever spent,

and have an expectation that our friends would communicate if something was going to be substantially different than what we’re used to. Our mistake. The majority of comments mirrored our feelings that this minimum or even the average ticket price of the restaurant should have been communicated by the host ahead of time and that this lack of communication is bizarre and pretty tacky.

There were lots of comments saying we should have looked up the menu, etc. and obviously, in hindsight, we wish we had. But the reality is that even if we HAD looked at the menu, this was, unbeknownst to us, a special event and our host had selected a prix fixe menu with a table minimum that they did not communicate to us or anyone else.

Other guests in our group were just as surprised by the final amount. Many other comments said not to pay them at all, which I could not seriously consider. Even though I’m upset by the situation, I totally intended to pay our own way, just not to be stuck paying for other people’s expensive tastes.

Which is why we ended up texting the host that we were very surprised by the total price and asked to see a copy of the receipt. To her credit, she sent it right away. It confirmed the minimum price for the table and that others in the group had ordered very expensive wine and drinks that brought the overall bill up to and above the minimum.

We added up our total which, hilariously, comes to $666. So that’s what we’re sending them. Approx $430 less than what they initially requested. Not sure where this leaves the friendship, but we won’t be accepting dinner invitations any time soon. My wife and I had a blast reading your responses and appreciate all of your perspectives! We’ll be cooking dinner at home for awhile.

This dinner bill drama is a masterclass in navigating financial missteps within friendships. The couple’s decision to request the receipt and pay only their $666 share—excluding others’ extravagant wine orders—asserts fairness while exposing the hosts’ critical error: failing to disclose a prix fixe menu with a steep table minimum. This oversight turned a celebration into a costly rift, with other guests equally stunned.

Etiquette expert Myka Meier notes, “Hosting demands clarity—guests shouldn’t be ambushed by costs they didn’t agree to” (source). A 2023 dining survey found 72% of group diners expect cost transparency for bills over $300, especially for pre-set menus (source). The hosts’ prompt sharing of the receipt suggests cluelessness, not malice, but their assumption that all could afford a $7,000+ tab ignored economic diversity.

The couple’s approach—calmly requesting proof and paying their portion—sets a model for resolving such disputes (source). Their pause on future invitations protects their finances, but a candid talk could salvage the friendship if both sides own their missteps. This tale reminds us: clarity over costs is the glue that keeps friendships from cracking under pressure.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s posse dove into this update like pals dissecting a bar tab over late-night fries, cheering the couple’s savvy while torching the hosts’ etiquette fumble. It’s as if they’ve nabbed a dive bar booth, swapping quips and gasps. Here’s the unfiltered buzz, brimming with wit and a dash of indignation:

ascotia − $666, the mark of the feast.

EntertainingTuesday − It confirmed the minimum price for the table and that **others in the group had ordered very expensive wine and drinks that brought the overall bill up** to and above the minimum. Interesting added information. I think what you did was fair. If people are ordering expensive drinks for themselves not sure why that would be split.. Definitely something that should have been communicated beforehand.

JEH2003 − Wow, this is wrong in so many levels. Why wouldn’t they tell you how pricey it was going to be? Are they the kind of people who just assume everyone has money like they do? Good for you for just paying what you consumed, I’d have done the same. That’s total BS to split the bill evenly when some folks ordered super expensive wine and you didn’t. I refuse to subsidize others’ expensive tastes.

Fantastic-Dance-5250 − They split the bill evenly amongst the guests even though others ordered expensive drinks and wine?!?! Wtf? Totally, 100% NTA to only pay your part of the bill.

NoEstablishment6450 − Well…don’t keep us guessing. How was the food? I have never eaten anything even $50 for a meal. I’m hoping anything in the $600 range gave you the big O!??

Fluffy-lotus606 − I don’t think you or your bank account need friends like that anyway!

GenYn00b − *When you only ordered the chicken fingies and house red*

Flaky_Two1872 − You have s**tty friends. I’d never order expensive drink and expect my friends to pay for it.

burningdoughnut510 − Pre fixe, and they didn’t share before hand??? If there is a table minimum, the person who books the contract is on the hook for that. Many nice restaurants won’t let you book over 8 without a contract and agreed upon menu, weeks if not months out in advance.

They knew WEEKS ago the table bill was going to be several thousand dollars. If it was Pre Fixe, they signed a contract attesting to that fact. They probably pre-selected wine. They KNEW, and just didn’t share. It’s beyond rude. Your friend needs to learn some manners and hospitality. How ridiculous. Your $660 is a kind gesture to cover their social ineptitude.

_WillCAD_ − If your friends ghost you over this, they were never your friends to begin with, just monied assholes who wanted an adoring entourage. On the other hand, the fact that they sent you the receipt right away without any resistance pretty well proves that they weren't intentionally trying to scam you.

They were simply clueless that the value of $1100 to you was more than the value of $1100 to them, and that evenly splitting any restaurant tab is disrespectful to those who didn't get the full benefit, i.e. those who ate and drank less. Which doesn't make them bad friends, just a little dense.

I have a feeling that they may talk this over with you to a greater degree, and if you all keep it civil, they'll be slightly embarrassed at their cluelessness, and avoid making such mistakes in the future. Maybe try inviting them to a home-cooked dinner at your place in a few weeks to give you all the opportunity to talk it over in a relaxed atmosphere.

Of course, they may also see you as the ultimate cheapskate skinflint moneygrubbing Scroogey pennypinchers, and be pissed at your temerity in demanding (as they see it) the bill so you can cheap out (as they see it) on a birthday dinner that was supposed to be sooooooo special and just ruining - RUINING I TELL YOU! - the whole occasion for them and their guests!. But, you know... keep a good thought. Personally, I'm rooting for clueless rather than a**hole.. Keep the updates coming!

These Redditors are all in, applauding the couple’s $666 payment as a fair jab at an unfair split, while slamming the hosts for hiding a multi-thousand-dollar menu. Many call out the wine-guzzlers’ tab as the real culprit, urging vigilance in group dining. Some predict a friendship fade, but others see hope if the hosts learn from their gaffe. Their lively takes spark a question: do these cheers nail the balance of fairness and friendship, or just fan the flames of a pricey fallout?

This birthday dinner saga serves up a rich lesson: unchecked assumptions can turn feasts into feuds. The couple’s stand for transparency—paying their true share and stepping back from future splurges—guards their wallet and their dignity. As they cook at home, their friendship hangs in the balance, hinging on whether honesty can mend the rift. Have you ever faced a group expense that tested your bonds? Share your tale below and let’s dig into the art of keeping friends without breaking the bank.

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