Am I wrong for assuming my fiancee and I are exclusive?
A man’s world shattered when a friend’s photo revealed his fiancée kissing another man at a nightclub, unraveling a six-year relationship and their recent engagement. Her defense—that they never “officially” agreed to be exclusive—left him stunned, prompting a swift exit and a flood of questions about love, trust, and unspoken vows.
This isn’t just about a kiss; it’s a story of betrayal cloaked in technicalities. The narrative pulls us into a heart-wrenching confrontation, raising questions about the assumptions that bind relationships.
‘Am I wrong for assuming my fiancee and I are exclusive?’
A fiancée’s claim that engagement doesn’t imply exclusivity unless “officially discussed” is a flimsy excuse for infidelity, undermining the trust at the core of a six-year relationship. The man’s assumption of monogamy was reasonable: cultural norms in most societies default to exclusivity in long-term relationships, especially post-engagement.
Her actions—kissing and sleeping with others while justifying it with a lack of explicit agreement—constitute cheating and gaslighting, as she shifts blame to him for not clarifying boundaries. His decision to leave was a healthy assertion of self-respect.
Infidelity often ends relationships: a 2021 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study found 70% of couples dissolve after cheating, with trust rarely regained. Relationship therapist Dr. Esther Perel notes, “Betrayal thrives in secrecy and ambiguity; healing requires accountability, not excuses” (source).
He should prioritize healing through therapy, get tested for STIs as Reddit suggested, and maintain no contact to rebuild his confidence. Her non-stop messaging shows denial, not remorse. He’s not wrong—his trust was betrayed, not misplaced.
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit unanimously supported the man, declaring him NTA for assuming exclusivity, labeling his fiancée’s actions as blatant cheating and her “no official discussion” excuse as absurd and manipulative. They praised his swift exit, urging him to block her completely and get tested for STIs, with some humorously calling her logic “for the streets.”
Many emphasized that monogamy is the default in engaged relationships, and her gaslighting—blaming him for unclear boundaries—was a red flag. The consensus encouraged him to move on, heal, and avoid reconciling with someone who disrespects their commitment.
Readers, trust shapes love—what’s one boundary you’d never compromise in a relationship? This wasn’t just about a nightclub kiss—it was about a fiancée’s betrayal shattering a six-year bond with a callous technicality.
The man’s choice to walk away, leaving her messages and gifts behind, reflects strength in reclaiming his worth. As he heals, it’s a reminder that love demands honesty, not loopholes. How do you rebuild after a betrayal? Share your story—what’s your key to moving forward?
