Am I the A**hole for breaking up with my ex boyfriend because he tried to tamper with my birth control?

A quiet Sunday in a cozy apartment takes a sinister turn when trust shatters like a dropped mug. A 23-year-old woman, dreaming of a PhD and a child-free future, soaks in the tub, unaware her boyfriend of two years, Todd, is plotting to derail her plans. Caught red-handed microwaving what he thinks are her birth control pills, he confesses he wants a family now, ignoring her clear boundaries. Her swift breakup sparks a storm of harassment from his family, branding her “juvenile” for overreacting.

This isn’t just a breakup—it’s a chilling clash of autonomy, betrayal, and reproductive coercion. Her anger and violation are palpable, yet guilt creeps in as Todd’s apologies flood her university email. Reddit’s roaring her on, but was she too quick to slam the door? Let’s dive into this unsettling drama and unpack the truth.

‘Am I the A**hole for breaking up with my ex boyfriend because he tried to tamper with my birth control?’

The Reddit post lays bare a woman’s shock and fury after a betrayal that hit below the belt. Here’s her raw account of a breakup sparked by a dangerous act.

I 23F broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years 'Todd' 26M on Sunday (two days ago). I broke up with him because, as the title suggested, he tried to mess with my birth control. I told Todd that I intend to be child-free until I obtain my PhD and get a position with tenure at a university.

I told him I was on birth control and had no intention of getting off it and that it would be better if we doubled up with condoms. He said ok. Two days ago, we were chilling in my apartment and I told him I was going to take a bath and listen to one of my audiobooks. I heard the microwave go off and thought that Todd was making mac and cheese or something.

I hopped in the tub and was about to start when I remembered I have a bath bomb that I was gifted at my friend's baby shower. I got out of the tub to get it from my room and I found Todd messing with the pill packet I keep next to my bed. I have a missing gallbladder after several attacks, and I have to take prescription laxatives sometimes to be able to control my poop.

The packet looks similar, and by similar, I mean almost the exact same, to a birth control packet, including the silver foil and the color of the pills. I asked him what he was doing and for him to hand me my pills. The package was warm. I asked him what the hell he was doing with my pills and he broke down about how he's successful in his job and I should want to have a family with him after two years.

I told him to get out of my apartment and before I slammed the door on him, let him know I had an arm implant birth control and that he microwaved my s**t pills. I blocked his number, but he's been contacting me through my university's e-mail and is refusing to take no for an answer when he apologises.

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His mom's been texting me, as well as some of his friends and his sisters, telling me I'm juvenile for breaking up with him when I knew he wouldn't have been successful in tampering with my birth control because I wasn't on the pill anyway. I feel so angry and violated, but they're right nothing would have happened and I'm starting to think I overreacted. AITA?

Love shouldn’t feel like a trap, but Todd’s attempt to microwave his girlfriend’s pills was a calculated strike at her freedom. His belief that two years entitles him to override her child-free stance, as celticmusebooks warns, screams control, not care. Her breakup was a fierce reclaiming of agency, despite his family’s gaslighting that “nothing happened,” per Horror-Reveal7618. The arm implant twist doesn’t erase his intent—only her quick thinking did.

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This reflects reproductive coercion, a growing issue. A 2023 study in Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that 15% of women report partner attempts to sabotage contraception, often tied to control. Todd’s actions fit this pattern, risking her health and future.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes says, “Reproductive coercion is a form of abuse; it violates bodily autonomy”. Her insight underscores Todd’s violation—his apologies are hollow without accountability. The harassment from his family, as WhatHappenedMonday notes, escalates the threat.

She should document all contact, seek a restraining order if needed, and alert university security, per liquidlen’s advice. Counseling can help process the violation.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s jumping into this betrayal with takes as fiery as a microwaved pill packet. Here’s a sizzling dose of their thoughts, dished out with no holds barred.

PastorBlinky - You don’t actually need to ask this question. You already know, you’re just venting because your ex is a dangerous controlling a**hole. Stop doubting yourself. Move on with your life, and tell anyone who complains exactly what he did. That’s unhinged behaviour.

celticmusebooks - You realize he's not sorry for trying to sabotage your birth control-- he's sorry you caught him. Do you honestly think this man is going to let you get a phd? If you go back to him you'll be pregnant within two years.

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He'll alternate bullying and lovebombing until you give in-- or he figures a way to sabotage your implant--which btw several OTC herbal supplements, and several prescriptions meds will lower the effectiveness of the implant. Does a man who was willing to steal your choice from you seem like a man you want to raise a child with?. NTA.

permamother - OMG… That’s so messed up. His actions but also everybody else’s. He trying to baby trap you, don’t know if it’s drugging you, but tampering with someone’s medicine must be illegal. And then the justification.. It’s what HE wants. Good you found out now, but I’m so sorry this happened to you.. NTA obviously.

HorrorReveal7618 - His mom's been texting me, as well as some of his friends and his sisters, telling me I'm juvenile for breaking up with him when I knew he wouldn't have been successful in tampering with my birth control because I wasn't on the pill anyway. These are the type of people who need to read the shampoo instructions every bath to remember they need to rinse.

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It doesn't matter if he would have been 'successful' at f*cking up your birth control. HE TRIED TO F*CK UP YOUR BIRTH CONTROL.. He proved he's not trustworthy. He doesn't respect your body autonomy.. He only cares about his wants.. Your response is the only appropriate one in this situation.. NTA.

AcceptableWind7332 - This sounds like he is looking to exert control and dominance over you. You're doing well, you've got a plan and you are looking to stick to your plan. He might be threatened by the prospect of you being better qualified and better paid than he will ever be. Todd wants the the things he wants right now, and and he's not prepared to wait. You might well have dodged a bullet here. You are NTA.

liquidlen - No. You need to call the police.

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WhatHappenedMonday - Make everyone contact you through email or text. Block all incoming calls. When you have enough proof go to the police and try for a restraining order. This man is dangerous and deluded. Once you have the evidence you need, block him everywhere.

Change your locks. Get a big dog or security cameras. Go to your school counselor explain the situation and get your campus email changed. Alert campus security to a potential risk and leave them with a current picture. You had a narrow escape but a massive life victory. NTA.

ML_120 - NTA.. Also, anyone here remembers the guy who tried to remove his partners implant while she was sleeping?

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whatsmypassword73 - So this dude was willing to put your life and future at risk for something you didn’t want that would tie you to him forever?. And you think you overreacted? I’d file charges, he’s pure evil.

Realistic_Head4279 - If this is for real, NTA. If Todd would deceive you on this important issue, what else would he be deceptive about? A guy who would do this to get his way is not one you want to keep around.

These Reddit sparks fly high, but do they light the full truth? Are they right to cheer her stand, or missing a shade of gray?

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This woman’s breakup wasn’t just a split—it was a bold escape from a man who tried to hijack her future. Todd’s birth control tampering, backed by Reddit’s NTA roar, exposed a dangerous disregard for her autonomy, made worse by his family’s harassment. As she blocks his emails and rebuilds her peace, one question burns: can she move forward without looking back? Readers, what would you do if a partner betrayed your bodily trust? Drop your stories and verdicts below—this saga’s still smoldering!

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