AIW for not wanting my boyfriend to marry another woman?

A 28-year-old woman is grappling with a tough question: is she selfish for not wanting her boyfriend to marry another woman just to secure a European passport? Their two-year relationship, marked by its ups and downs, has left her facing a dilemma about their shared future.

This story revolves around love, while at the same time touching on bigger questions about trust and commitment. Is her unease a sign of jealousy or a valid gut feeling? Let’s dive into the details to find out.

‘AIW for not wanting my boyfriend to marry another woman?’

The situation starts with what seems like a straightforward but emotionally charged moment.

My (28f) english boyfriend (31m) lives since 10 years all over Europe. He's an engineer so he can basically get a job anywhere but since Brexit it's just easier to...

so since a few years he wants to get a european passport. I offered to marry him for it but he doesn't want to cause he would feel pressured as...

Things take a complicated turn with the arrival of a female friend.

now his female friend (who I never met) offered to marry him. She's just a friend but I told him that I don't feel comfortable cause I would like to...

The conflict escalates when her boyfriend pushes back hard against her concerns.

He says I'm very selfish for that and that it's about his present and future and not some potential future with me. and i understand that but i just dont...

This situation raises a sharp question: Can love overcome practical barriers like passports and long-term commitment?

The 28-year-old woman’s story reveals a clash between her personal feelings and her boyfriend’s practical goals. He rejected her offer to marry for a passport, citing pressure, yet he’s considering marrying another female friend for the same reason. This leaves her questioning how serious he is about their relationship.

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From a psychological lens, his behavior might signal a lack of commitment or a focus on personal gain over the relationship. Psychologist John Gottman, in his work on relationships, noted, “Trust is built when both partners prioritize shared interests over individual ones” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Calling her “selfish” for expressing discomfort suggests a lack of empathy, which is a red flag.

On the flip side, his perspective has some merit: a European passport could unlock career opportunities. But choosing to marry someone else rather than discussing it further with his girlfriend implies she’s not part of his long-term plans. Society often expects couples to tackle challenges together, yet he seems to prioritize his own needs over her feelings.

The advice here is clear: she should have an open conversation about their shared goals and boundaries. If he’s unwilling to commit or respect her emotions, it may be time to reassess the relationship. Finding someone who truly values her is better than staying with someone unclear about their future together.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The online community on social media didn’t hold back, offering everything from blunt warnings to heartfelt advice.

Many users felt her boyfriend doesn’t see her as a priority, urging her to walk away.

[Reddit User] − Ooh Honey. He is telling you that he does not see a future with you.

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booksiwabttoread − Oh, Honey. End this now.

SnooWords4839 − You are just a placeholder for him, he doesn't want to marry you!

roman1969 − If your end goal is a husband and family why are you wasting time with someone who treats you as a place holder? Two years you’ve given…

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Find someone who sees you as the woman of his dreams and as his future. NTAH He can marry his friend, then deal with all the legal implications that brings.

Some comments raised suspicions that the female friend might be more than just a friend.

TheBlueNinja0 − OP, you are his side chick. His "friend" is his actual girlfriend. Break up and find someone respectable to date.

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biteme717 − He doesn't want to marry you, BUT would marry his female friend? I think that they are more than friends. IMO, if he marries her, it's not for...

MrTash999 − You are not wrong. However, you are his side chick. He is litterly telling you that he does not see a future with you. If he did, he...

Also, im gonna guess that your bf and this woman are a lot more involved than you know about because most countries can see right through a marriage for a...

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as they would have to prove they have been together for a substantial amount of time. The best thing you can do is walk away and find a decent bf.

Others emphasized her self-worth and warned about the legal risks of a sham marriage.

Heeler_Haven − Not wrong, but do you really want to stay with a man who would rather commit immigration fraud than marry his actual girlfriend? If you are "up and...

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ceciliabee − If you believe him you're going to get very hurt. Divorce is expensive and lengthy. He wouldn't marry someone else just for a visa (which is FRAUD) if...

Seriously, he is 10000% full of s__t, those reasons don't make any sense. Again, he's intending to commit fraud using your friend as an accessory. This guy is a loser...

[Reddit User] − He should be an ex. Stop being the side chick.

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The social media crowd largely agrees she should rethink this relationship, as her boyfriend seems to neither value her nor plan for a shared future.

This story is a reminder that healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and commitment. If someone isn’t including you in their future plans, it might be time to find someone who does cherish you. What should she do next? Is there a way to resolve this without breaking up, or is this a clear sign to move on?

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