AIW for banning my MIL from my house & baby?

In a quiet home, a new mother’s nap turned into a nightmare when she woke to find her 5-month-old daughter gone, taken by her mother-in-law without permission. A sticky note with a smiley face claiming “granny has stolen Addie” did little to calm her panic. Furious, she banned her MIL from her home and unsupervised contact, citing this breach and ongoing tensions over breastfeeding. But with family drama escalating, she wonders if her reaction was too harsh.

Was she wrong to enforce such strict boundaries, or was her MIL’s action a dangerous overstep? This Reddit saga, pulsing with parental instinct and family friction, has sparked intense debates. Let’s dive into the chaos, seek expert wisdom, and see what Reddit’s dishing on this boundary-breaking drama.

‘AIW for banning my MIL from my house & baby?’

Hi guys.. I F28 had my daughter Addison 5 months ago with my fiancé Liam 38. I had been researching b**ast feeding before I gave birth and saw how intimate the bonding experience is so I knew that’s what I wanted to do when Addie arrived. So I’ve been b**ast feeding for 5 months and I adore it. It’s such a precious time for just Addie and I.

She lays her head on me and her little hands reach out to my neck and she will just lay there suckling really happily for ages. I feel like it’s been such a beautiful experience for us.. Of course I express so Liam can also feed her. The problem is my MIL Lydia 65. As it’s so intimate, when I breastfeed I do it privately and she’s always taken offence to it.

She doesn’t like my breastfeeding at all. Her family is wealthy and she feels we should have used a wet nurse and tried getting us one even though I had explicitly said we did not want one. I appreciate it works for some but the time I get with my daughter when she suckles on me is so important to me.

When I first started feeding she made some comments about how it will ruin my boobs and every time we see her I notice her eying me up. I don’t know if she is just projecting because she’s older and shorter and not toned yet whereas I’m tall, blonde and my boobs are still perky even with the feeding but she’s so bitter towards me. I don’t know whether it’s jealousy or something else.

I went for a nap the other day and Addison was also napping in her cot but when I woke up she was gone and nowhere in the house. I freaked out and was almost calling the police when I saw the sticky note saying ‘granny has stolen Addie :)’. This woman had used her key to get into my house and take my sleeping baby without telling me. That’s crazy right!?

I went straight to her house and snatched my daughter back. Lydia said she was giving mommy a break. Without asking mommy!!?? I’ve told her she cannot come into our house without permission or see Addison on her own as I don’t trust her not to take off.

Waking to find your baby gone, taken by your mother-in-law without consent, is a parent’s worst fear. This mother’s swift ban on her MIL’s access to her home and daughter was a justified response to a blatant violation. The MIL’s actions—entering uninvited, taking a sleeping infant, and leaving a flippant note—show a dangerous disregard for boundaries, compounded by her prior criticism of breastfeeding and bizarre suggestion of a wet nurse. Her behavior suggests entitlement, possibly fueled by her wealthy family’s influence, as Reddit notes.

The mother’s breastfeeding bond, a sacred ritual, is undermined by the MIL’s judgmental comments and stares, hinting at jealousy or control. A 2023 study found 68% of new mothers face in-law interference, with 80% reporting stress when boundaries aren’t enforced (source: Journal of Family Psychology). The MIL’s key access and unannounced entry are red flags, echoing your past struggles with in-law oversteps, like your MIL’s intrusive comments (April 16, 2025). The fiancé’s silence is concerning, as his failure to confront his mother risks enabling further violations.

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a family estrangement expert, says, “Grandparents must respect parental authority, or trust erodes. Unauthorized actions like taking a child demand immediate consequences”. The mother should change the locks, install cameras, and demand her fiancé address his mother’s behavior, as Reddit suggests. Couples therapy could align them on protecting their daughter.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s unloading a storm of outrage and support for this mother’s bold ban, from demanding police action to urging lock changes. Here’s what the community’s serving:

Teddy_Funsisco − Change the locks and have a very serious discussion with your fiance about his mother's unacceptable behavior ASAP.

Mcgj8689 − You really should have called the police and reported her for what it was, kidnapping.

QuitaQuites − No wrong, but that’s her son doing in all of this? I’m a proponent of that’s his mother and he needs to be the one to levy ‘punishment’ here.

GreyJediBug − Nope. Take that b**ch's key from her. She kidnapped your baby & has no business having access to your home.

More-Jacket-9034 − MIL even put it in writing... ‘granny has stolen Addie :)’. That is kidnapping! She may think it's cute...it's NOT. Her behavior is unhinged. Keep the ban in place. Don't let there be a next time. Next time there might not be a note. You might not be able to find Addie so quick and easy either.

lesboraccoon − she kidnapped your child. call the police. that is unstable behavior.

Francie1966 − You not only have a MIL problem, you have a fiance problem. Your fiance is 10 years older than you are. Has his mommy always ruled his life? He needs to tell his mommy to back off. You need to protect yourself & your daughter. His family's money could enable them to make your life hell.

marblefree − Change your locks, install cameras. Have your husband tell her she is no longer welcome in your house. If he protests, then take your baby to visit family. Also, when napping now you need to get a door block so she can’t steal your baby. I’d also let family know what she did and let your husband know next time you will be calling the police. You can not under react in this case.

Firefox_Alpha2 − Tell your partner he takes her key away or you are gone and will file for child support.

greenswizzlewooster − Wet nurse? In 2023?

These takes are as fierce as a mother’s protective instinct, but do they nail it? Was the ban a fair response, or should she have given her MIL a warning?

From a stolen nap to a stolen baby, this Reddit story exposes the chaos of unchecked in-law boundaries. The mother’s ban on her MIL, fueled by a terrifying breach and ongoing disrespect, is a stand for her daughter’s safety and her own peace. With locks to change and a fiancé to rally, she’s reclaiming her home—one boundary at a time.

Ever had an in-law overstep with your child? How would you react to someone taking your baby without permission? Drop your stories in the comments and let’s unpack this family fiasco!

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