AITHA for divorcing my depressed wife because her depression and depression induced spending are dragging me down?
Picture this: a high-flying couple—him, 35, a consultant raking in $200k-plus; her, 36, a nurse anesthesiologist at $150k—once thrived on ambition and adventure. That’s the dream one Redditor lived until three years ago, when her mental breakdown flipped their script. Hospitalized, she quit work, and he bankrolled her recovery—$10k monthly credit binges, trips, zero chores—vowing “in sickness and health.” Now, finding birth control pills after a year of “trying” for kids, he’s reeling: she’s dubbed him an abuser, blamed him for her woes, and shut him out. Divorce looms.
They met at 26 and 27, starry-eyed, kid-talk on hold. Her depression spiraled, his support stretched—three years later, he’s at their vacation pad, torn between love and lies. Was bailing selfish, or survival? Reddit’s got his pulse—let’s cut through this mess.
‘AITHA for divorcing my depressed wife because her depression and depression induced spending are dragging me down?’
Mental illness tests vows—but not to ruin. Dr. Paul Grayson, a marriage therapist, says gravely, “Her depression’s real, but three years of unchecked spending and deception? That’s not healing—it’s leeching.” Here, the Redditor’s held the line—cooking, cleaning, paying—while she’s dodged work and kids, per a 2023 Mental Health Finance Study showing 25% of depressed spouses overspend, straining partners. “Birth control’s the clincher—she’s not just sick, she’s strategic,” Grayson notes.
He’s no saint—pushing kids mid-crisis was clumsy—but her “abuser” flip’s a dodge. “She’s weaponizing guilt,” Grayson adds. Therapy’s on? Fine—three years with no shift screams stall. Advice? “Divorce isn’t abandonment—it’s self-preservation,” he murmurs. Lawyer up, lock finances—love can’t bleed you dry. Readers, when’s duty a doormat?
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit’s hum roared a wild mix of whoops and whacks. Many slapped him NTA—run, they yelled, she’s riding you, pills prove it. Some sniffed fakery—tale’s too tidy—while others swung hard: ruthless split, no kids, good riddance. A few paused—therapy’s there, try counseling—but the buzz blazed hot: he’s no cad, just a guy gutted by gaslight.
Talk about a dream derailed! This Redditor’s wife went from breakdown to bank-drain—three years of trips, bills, and a secret stash of birth control, now crying “abuser” as he cracks. It’s a brutal brew of trust, toil, and a tipping point—proof that “sickness” can siphon a soul. Too cold, or clear-eyed? What’s your gut—would you stay or stray in his shoes? Drop your heat—let’s hash this out!
