AITH for not waking my husband on Mothers Day?

Picture a sunny Mother’s Day morning, where the air hums with the chaos of three howling huskies and the quiet sting of unmet expectations. A wife and mother, still smarting from a recent spat, hoped her husband of 15 years would step up for a special day with their daughter. Instead, he slept through the morning, leaving her to wrestle with yard work and disappointment. Her Reddit post spills the tea on a day meant for celebration that turned into a silent standoff, sparking debates about partnership and accountability.

This story hits home for anyone who’s felt overlooked on a day meant to honor them. The Reddit community’s heated takes call out the husband’s fumble, but is she wrong for not nudging him awake? Let’s dive into her tale, unpack the expert view, and see what the online crowd thinks.

‘AITH for not waking my husband on Mothers Day?’

My husband of 15 years when on a 3 day work trip before Mother's Day and got home at 11PM on the Saturday before. We got in a small fight when he was gone and he said he'd leave me alone on Mother's Day even though the original plan was to take our 3 dogs for a walk and go to brunch with our 14 year old daughter.

We sleep in separate rooms because he snores horribly and I'm a light sleeper. I came downstairs at 7am and we have 3 huskies who are very much 'talkers' so they are not quiet in the morning. He slept through them barking and full on howling.

So I started doing yard work in the backyard. He never came out and said good morning to me or offered to help with yard work, even though he knows how much I want our backyard back in order for summer coming up. When I went inside for a break he finally came and talked to me

and said 'why didn't you wake me up to take the dogs for their walk?' And I told told him, apparently with attitude, 'I didn't know I needed to wake you up on Mother's Day' he never said another word to me until I texted him at 330pm saying

'I guess I'm handling my own Mother's Day dinner' which he then replied 'well what do you want?' But I was already out the house with our daughter going to pick up fast food. But now he's calling my the AH for not waking him up and he's saying I ruined my own Mother's Day. So am I the AH?

Mother’s Day gone awry reveals a classic case of miscommunication in marriage. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work that “successful couples repair conflicts early and often, showing mutual respect even in disagreement.” Here, the husband’s promise to “leave her alone” after a fight set a rocky tone, but his failure to rise for Mother’s Day deepened the rift. Her decision not to wake him reflects hurt, not malice, signaling a need for better dialogue.

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The tension boils down to mismatched expectations: she wanted effort, he assumed sleeping in was fine. This dynamic often stems from unspoken assumptions, where partners fail to clarify roles. A 2020 study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that equitable division of emotional labor boosts marital satisfaction, yet many couples stumble here. The husband’s post-sleep accusation that she “ruined” her own day flips the script, unfairly pinning blame.

Dr. Gottman’s advice applies: small, intentional gestures—like setting an alarm or planning brunch—can mend cracks. For this couple, open communication about feelings and plans could prevent future letdowns.Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

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Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up spicy takes on this Mother’s Day mix-up. Here’s what they had to say:

SeasidePlease − He could've set an alarm... What an odd thing to be upset over. All he has to say was: 'Sorry I slept in and couldn't walk the dogs with you this morning. The last few days have been rough. I'll come right out and help with the yard. Thanks for getting started. Have you thought about where you'd like to go eat today?'

vovinvritra − NTA. He's a grown man and alarms exist. I get that you guys were a bit huffy at each other but he still should have gotten up and made an effort, at least for your daughter's sake.

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Aggravating_Bike_606 − Why are you people bashing her for not catering to this man? A man who said would leave her alone for Mother’s Day. F**k you all!

YellowishRose99 − Your husband is unkind.

MeltedWellie − Another man who thinks that his behaviour is a woman's responsibility, not his own.. SHE needed to wake him and SHE needed to decide what he should do for dinner. She is also not allowed to have any feelings about it all either. Don't forget, he is then insulting her for HIS behaviour (*You are an AH because I slept in).*. NTA

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wishingforarainyday − NTA but your kid deserves a better example of how a partner treats you.

Various_Manner_4598 − Most people have only one but here we have a pair of AHs.. “You looked exhausted last night and so sound asleep this morning that I just let you sleep.”. “Thanks. I really needed rest. Breakfast?”. Change your scripts, change your life.. We are all born AHs and learn not to be if we desire to live a decent life.

trishamyst − Do you even like each other?

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PandaGirl_08 − NTA, he said he'd leave you alone for mother's day (which is what most people are ignoring rn) which was totally him being a jerk. He's acting like a kid.

FobbitOutsideTheWire − I’m wiling to grant him severe sleep apnea and super unrestful sleep as a result. That said, it’s your wife and mother of your child on Mother’s Day. You set an alarm and wake the f**k up and do something different or special, dragging ass with a smile on your face and clutching a coffee all day if need be.. NTA

These hot opinions roast the husband’s inaction, but do they miss the nuance of a long marriage?

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This Mother’s Day saga underscores how quickly small oversights can snowball in relationships. The wife’s choice to let her husband sleep wasn’t about pettiness—it was a cry for mutual effort. Should she have woken him, or was his snooze a fair consequence? How do you handle unspoken expectations with your partner? Drop your thoughts and experiences in the comments—let’s spark a lively debate!

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