AITAH for not talking to my father after he announced he was marrying my roommate?

A woman cut contact with her father after he announced his engagement to her former roommate. The 24-year-old, who had a distant relationship with her 54-year-old father, took his suggestion to live with a 20-year-old woman. They became close friends over a year, but parted ways amicably when their lease ended. Months later, she discovered their engagement on Facebook, feeling betrayed by the secrecy.

The shock deepened when she learned her former roommate, now 21, was pregnant with her father’s child—her future sibling. Furious at their lack of consideration, she stopped all contact. The situation leaves her torn, as the unborn child complicates her emotions. Reddit debates whether her silence is justified or too harsh. Was she wrong to cut them off? How do families handle such betrayals?

‘AITAH for not talking to my father after he announced he was marrying my roommate?’

Her relationship with her father was distant:

They lived together and became close:

She felt betrayed by the secrecy:

The daughter’s decision to cut contact reflects deep feelings of betrayal, rooted in her father’s failure to disclose his relationship with her roommate. Growing up with a distant father, she trusted his suggestion of a roommate, only to discover their secret engagement online. This breach, compounded by the age gap and pregnancy, likely amplifies her sense of manipulation and exclusion (Gottman, 1999).

The father’s actions raise ethical concerns. Suggesting the roommate while possibly involved with her suggests premeditation, using his daughter as a cover to normalize their proximity. The roommate’s silence, despite their friendship, adds to the betrayal. The significant age difference (54 vs. 21) and potential power dynamics further complicate the situation, raising questions about grooming or exploitation (Finkelhor, 1984).

The daughter faces emotional turmoil, balancing hurt with the reality of a future sibling. Her silence protects her mental health but risks isolating her from the child. The father and roommate’s failure to communicate directly with her before going public exacerbated the rift.

To move forward, the daughter could maintain no contact while processing her emotions, possibly through therapy. She might consider limited, boundary-setting communication with her father to address her feelings. For the sibling, she could explore a future relationship independent of her father and roommate. Open dialogue, if safe, may help clarify intentions and rebuild trust.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit condemns the father’s predatory behavior, supporting the daughter’s no-contact stance.

Many affirm her right to protect herself emotionally:

Commenters slam the father for orchestrating the roommate arrangement:

Some highlight the disturbing age gap and potential grooming:

Others advise maintaining boundaries or limited intervention:

The daughter’s silence after her father’s engagement to her former roommate stems from a profound sense of betrayal, amplified by their secrecy and the public announcement. The father’s suggestion of the roommate and the age gap raise concerns about manipulation, while the pregnancy complicates her emotions toward a future sibling.

Reddit supports her no-contact stance, condemning the father’s actions. Was the daughter wrong to cut contact with her father and former roommate? How can families navigate such betrayals while considering future siblings? Share your thoughts below!