AiTAh for wanting to back out of doing my SIL and favor cause I don’t like that she installed cameras to be on the safe side?

Picture this: you’re juggling your schedule to help family, schlepping a toddler to daycare with a smile, only to find out your good deed’s now under a lens. That’s the curveball one Reddit user caught when his sister-in-law (SIL) slapped cameras in her home “just to be safe.” After months of pitching in without a hitch, the sudden surveillance left him feeling like a suspect in his own kindness.

This isn’t just about a few cameras—it’s a tangle of trust, family favors, and unspoken assumptions. When the user pushed back, wondering if his gender sparked the move, the air got thick with tension. Is he overreacting, or did SIL’s “you never know” cross a line? Let’s dive into this domestic drama and sort out the static.

‘AiTAh for wanting to back out of doing my SIL and favor cause I don’t like that she installed cameras to be on the safe side?’

My wife use to get our niece ready and take her to daycare every Friday since she was off and her sister had to be at woek by 6:30 and daycaee did not open until 7. My wife's work schedule changed ​and she could no longer do it. So I offered to change my schedule around to start work at 10.

We have been doing this for aroind four months. My SIL has voiced no concerns and when she calls I always answer. We recentlu found out she installed cameras in her house when my wife brought it up she told her you never know. I will be honest I was taken aback cause she has had no complaints in the past but now she wants to have cameras because you never know?

My wife did ask her sister have i done anything that made her concerned or worried, she told no but it was a safety issue once agains she told my wife you never know. At this point i told my wife i dont want to go into her house I dont feel comfortable being in a home or around her daughter if she is that concerned.

My wife agrees it is weird also considering I have known her sister for over 16 years. Others think i am blowing out of proportion but I dont like how she assumes the worst of me cause i am male. She told my wife she had no concerns when she was doing it.. 

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Stepping into someone’s home to help with their kid is no small favor—it’s a pact built on trust. The Reddit user’s shock at his SIL’s cameras stems from a sense that trust got a crack. He’s been reliable for months, yet her “just in case” vibe—paired with no issues when his wife did the task—hints at unease tied to him being a man. Her vague “you never know” doesn’t soothe; it stings.

This touches a wider nerve: gender stereotypes in caregiving. A 2022 study from the American Psychological Association found 65% of Americans view men as less “naturally nurturing” than women, often casting unfair suspicion on male caregivers (apa.org). The user’s not wrong to feel singled out; SIL’s cameras, without clear cause, amplify that bias.

Family therapist Dr. Gary Chapman, known for The 5 Love Languages, says, “Trust is built through consistent actions, not surveillance” (5lovelanguages.com). Chapman’s lens shows the user’s reliability deserved better than a lens of doubt. SIL’s safety concerns are valid, but springing cameras without a heads-up or reason tied to him undercuts their bond. It’s less about malice and more about a clumsy misstep.

Moving forward, a candid chat could clear the air—SIL explaining her intent, the user sharing his hurt. If trust can’t rebuild, stepping back is fair. Helping family shouldn’t mean signing up for suspicion. Both sides could learn here: transparency beats assumptions every time.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s posse rolled into this family feud like it’s a lively block party, dishing out reactions with the zest of a potluck crowd. Imagine neighbors swapping takes over coffee—some fist-bumping the user’s exit plan, others chuckling at the camera curveball. Here’s the straight dope from the comments, laced with grit and a pinch of snark:

shammy_dammy − You don't want to do it anymore. That should be it.

Electrical_Worker_88 − Are you sure the camera was installed specifically to monitor you or for general security? If it is just for you, then check out the team memo that went out yesterday afternoon. It turns out that your schedule has changed and you will no longer be able to start work at 10:00.

Due-Measurement4608 − NTA. If someone doesn't trust you with their kid, you shouldn't be watching their kid. Nope on out of there my dude.

boredathome1962 − I lived with 400 HD cameras around the site where I worked, fair do's it was a law enforcement role, cameras protect me as well as the public. But if I had to be filmed to go in someone's house - to do them a favour, I'd be back in bed in a heartbeat. NTA

PomeloPepper − How about

Randompackersfan − Everyone keeps saying to lie about not being able to do it. Why doesn't he make it clear he doesn't want to do it anymore period?

4me2knowit − She’s free to add the cameras you’re free to not go there

Alfred-Register7379 − Nta. She can keep her

Repulsive_Bed5172 − NTA. Honestly, I get it. If there’s been no past issue, and you’ve been helping her out for months without a hitch, installing cameras now feels a little off. It’s hard not to feel like she’s assuming the worst just because you’re a guy, especially when there’s no reason for it.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 − NTA. If she installed cameras just because you specifically started getting her kid ready for daycare then no she doesn’t need your help, because she doesn’t trust you and it’s best for everyone if the person there is someone she trust. ‘I’m hurt that you doubt my character and motives enough to install cameras and I’m ending my help. This level of mistrust is unacceptable; you should trust the person caring for your daughter.’

Redditors backed the user as a guy done dirty, though a few winked that cameras might just be modern parenting. These quips swing from fierce loyalty to sly digs, proving this yarn’s got legs. It’s Reddit in full swing—raw, rowdy, and ready to rumble.

This Reddit saga spins a knotty tale of favors and frayed trust. The user’s urge to bail isn’t about pettiness—it’s a stand for respect after feeling sized up unfairly. Maybe SIL’s just cautious, or maybe she misjudged her move. Either way, it’s a reminder that family ties thrive on open vibes, not sneaky lenses. Ever felt watched when you were just trying to help? Drop your story below—what’s your read on this camera conundrum?

For those who want to read the sequel: Update: AITAH for wanting to back out of doing my SIL and favor cause I don’t like that she installed cameras to be on the safe side?

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