AITAH for telling my sister she sounds bitter and jealous?

Picture a cozy kitchen glowing under soft evening light, where a new mom hums while preparing her husband’s favorite dessert, her heart full after months of being cherished. For this 28-year-old woman, motherhood has been a warm embrace, thanks to her husband’s cultural traditions and family support. But across the globe, her sister’s phone calls carry a sharp edge, laced with envy that threatens to sour the joy.

The sting of those words—“you don’t sound like a real mother”—cuts deep, igniting a fiery clash. Readers lean in, caught between empathy for the sister’s struggles and admiration for the woman’s unapologetic happiness. Is she wrong to defend her blissful experience, or has her sister crossed a line with her bitter remarks? This tale dives into the messy waters of sibling rivalry and the weight of societal expectations.

‘AITAH for telling my sister she sounds bitter and jealous?’

I (28F) gave birth to my daughter nearly 5 months ago. My sister Jennie (34) has 3 kids with her husband. Before I gave birth, Jennie gave me several warnings about postpartum depression and how hard the baby will be on my marriage. I took all the advice she gave me but thankfully, my experience hasn’t been as horrible as she warned.

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I’m extremely lucky and privileged in my situation and I acknowledge that. I married a man who comes from a culture where women are doted on and not allowed to take on any chores outside of the baby within the first year postpartum. For the first 2 months, all I did was look after our daughter.

My husband and his family took care of everything else. He took the first two months off from work so he was home with me the entire time. We’ve bonded in a way I couldn’t ever imagine. It’s made us closer and made me love him a thousand times more seeing how much he loves being a dad and how excited he is to be involved in everything.

My husbands family would cook us fresh meals every single day for the first 2 months as well. They say that’s what’s normal in their culture and a woman who has just given birth should be taken care of. They would also come over and together with my husband, clean the whole house, do laundry, meal preps, etc.

It makes me emotional just thinking of how much they’ve done for us and how beautiful my experience in motherhood has been so far. My daughter is also a very easy baby so I’m blessed all round. Jennie lives in another country but she would call and check up on me because she was worried I’d have a very difficult time like she did.

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At first when I told her that my husband took time off work and that he’s been doing all the cleaning and chores, his family have been cooking for us etc, she was shocked and said how lucky I was. I agreed. As time goes by, she’s been making really shady comments though.

I would ignore them and just change the subject but she really got my nerves yesterday. My husband went on a business trip for a few days and he was getting back last night. I was making dinner for him when she called and I said I’m making dinner & his favourite dessert because I missed him.

She chuckled and said “normal women call that just being a mother and a wife, but it’s just a fun activity for you”. She said it in such a rude tone that I had to ask what that meant. She said I’m so out of touch with reality that I can say something as ridiculous as “I’m making my husband dinner because I missed him” and not because our family need to eat.

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I said she’s making a big deal out of nothing. I cook most days. I told her she knows my in laws cooked for the first 2 months and they don’t anymore so who does she think has been cooking? She said sometimes when she calls I mention that my husband has made dinner so it’s obviously not me who does it.

I said yes he makes dinner sometimes because he’s also part of this family but I do it 90% of the time. He likes making us recipes he sees online, so what exactly is the problem? She said I’ve basically been babied since my daughter has been born and it drains her talking to me because I don’t sound like a real mother and wife with how easy I’ve gotten it.

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I really lost my head after this comment. I told her me not struggling 24/7 doesn’t mean I’m less of a mother than her. I take care of my baby and yes my husband helps a lot but that’s his duty as a father. I said she sounds jealous and bitter and that I’m not going to apologise for not struggling as much as she did, and cut the call.

I don’t regret it because she was being very rude to me too, but she ranted to our brother and he told me I was being too harsh instead of understanding why seeing me live an easier life than her would be hard on her. He suggested I reach out to her to fix it but I don’t want to. AITAH?

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Motherhood can feel like a battlefield, and this story shows how comparisons spark unexpected skirmishes. The new mom’s idyllic postpartum period, buoyed by cultural support, contrasts starkly with her sister’s grueling experience, fueling tension. Dr. Amy Tuteur, an obstetrician and author, notes, “Society often glorifies the struggling mother, making supported mothers feel they’re cheating the ‘real’ experience” . Her insight highlights why the sister might resent the mom’s ease.

The sister’s barbs reflect a broader issue: 1 in 5 mothers report feeling judged for their parenting choices, per a 2023 study . Her struggle in an individualistic system likely amplifies her frustration, seeing her sister thrive in a communal setup. Meanwhile, the mom’s clapback, while sharp, defends her valid reality.

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Dr. Tuteur’s perspective suggests empathy could bridge this gap. The mom might acknowledge her sister’s hardships while firmly rejecting judgment.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s chiming in with takes hotter than a summer grill! Here’s what the community thinks:

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Keensworth − The culture you were talking about, which one is it?

stacko- − Lol NTAH. Her jealousy is understandable but it’s her responsibility to keep those feelings within and not take it out on you. I’d be so happy if my sister had an easier life than me. I will always want better for her.

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donname10 − Nta. I feel you. I had it easy too. But in my case my own mother hate it and make it her life mission to destroy my marriage because how can ugly daughter like me can have perfect life that she wants. Perfect partner and perfect in laws who would let me rest for 2 months after childbirth(they're not perfect but very helpful and involved,

but my mom says perfect).. Now im nc with her. Im happy and blessed. Trust me it all started with childbirth and soon parenting and soon kids well being and kids well behaved or not. Its never ending. I've been there.. Its a competition that you know nothing about.

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Gupy1985 − NTA. She *is* bitter and angry but she's an adult and needs to work through her feelings in a more productive way.. She should be trying to apologize to you. Not the other way around.

amidtheprimalthings − Your sister is suffering the effects of living in a society that is pro-birth: not pro-child, pro-mother, pro-community, or pro-mutual aid. She’s angry and upset at the way the system has failed her without recognizing that it *is* the system that failed her not you,

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and she’s lashing out at you because it hurts to see you receiving the support that every woman inherently wants (and deserves) postpartum. You are NTA and though your sisters behaviors are definitely AH behavior…I hesitate to call her an outright a**hole when she’s simply struggling and angry in a system that has proven to be isolating and difficult.

The healthcare system and the individualism that has become rampant in this country due to a number of reasons (none of which I’ll get into here) are the real assholes. The politicians that don’t allow for protected, paid maternity/paternity leave are the real assholes.

The system we’ve created that equates motherhood as only being successful if it’s a painful struggle is the real a**hole. Your sister is an angry victim of that and I think, underneath her a**hole behavior there is a person who knows that and who is very sad about it.

jfcmfer − She says you're out of touch with reality. Seems like you actually just have a different reality than her. In her reality, her husband probably doesn't help and she's expected to do everything and she's so far gone that she thinks this is normal and fine. Sucks for her.

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bishopredline − My wife asked what culture is your husband part of... no wait forget that I see what she is doing lol. Seriously NTA as long as in-laws aren't overstepping it is nice they are helping out.

Pineapple716 − NTA, misery loves company and it seems your sister definitely wants company. 🤷🏽‍♀️

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OIWantKenobi − NTA. It’s sad how we expect motherhood to mean suffering and stress. Your husband’s cultural practices sound lovely, and honestly the way things should be when a new life is brought into the family. It’s a lot of work spread among many hands.

Tell her that jealousy isn’t a good look on her. You sound like you are very well aware of how privileged this situation is, and you’re enjoying it without rubbing it in her face. You can be happy without taking happiness away from others. She doesn’t sound like this is her strong suit.. Women and mothers should lift each other up, not bring each other down.

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GreenTravelBadger − Making dinner IS an everyday activity. Making someone's FAVORITE dinner is what you do for their enjoyment. Sad your sister can't see the difference.. If it 'drains' her to talk to you, let her talk to your voicemail.. NTA

These comments range from cheering the mom’s happiness to dissecting systemic failures. But do they capture the full picture, or are they just Reddit’s classic spice?

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This sibling showdown leaves us pondering: why does one woman’s joy spark another’s resentment? The new mom’s story challenges the myth that motherhood must be a struggle, while her sister’s bitterness reveals the toll of unsupported systems. Should the mom apologize, or is her sister’s envy her own to carry? Drop your thoughts in the comments—what would you say if you were caught in this family feud? Let’s keep the convo flowing!

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