AITAH for telling my parents that I won’t babysit without proper payment?

A teenage girl found herself clashing with her parents after refusing to babysit her younger siblings without proper payment. As the oldest of seven children, she had grown accustomed to stepping in whenever her parents needed to leave, often receiving nothing more than a small treat in return.

What began as a request for fair compensation quickly escalated into accusations of ingratitude and threats of losing holiday gifts altogether. The disagreement highlights ongoing debates about responsibility within large families, where the line between helping out and being taken advantage of can easily blur, especially for the oldest child.

‘AITAH for telling my parents that I won’t babysit without proper payment?’

The conflict began with unpaid babysitting becoming routine.

I’m 16f and I’m the oldest of 7 kids and I often babysit, my mom will say “I’m leaving to go..” and my payment will be a cup of ice...

The disagreement escalated when she refused to continue without pay.

My mom said that they (they as in my parents) won’t be paying me to do anything so be grateful they do this, I said that I didn’t want a...

My mom said no because they don’t have to pay me to do something, I said if I don’t get paid properly then I don’t babysit.

The standoff led to consequences and lingering questions.

I said I won’t babysit if I don’t get paid properly, my mom told my dad and my dad yelled at me saying that they don’t have to pay me...

and clothes which is all I need and I will babysit whenever they say. I said if I don’t get paid properly I will not babysit.

Now, my parents has said that I won’t be getting anything for Christmas or birthday because I am ungrateful for what I have. AITAH?

ADVERTISEMENT

Conflicts like this often arise in large families where older children are expected to shoulder extra responsibility. Helping with siblings can be a normal part of family life, but problems emerge when expectations become one-sided and compulsory rather than negotiated. In this situation, the teenager clearly expressed her boundaries and requested compensation for consistent childcare duties.

From the parents’ perspective, they appear to view babysitting as an obligation tied to being part of the household, rather than labor deserving pay. However, framing basic parental responsibilities such as food, shelter, and clothing as leverage can deepen resentment and erode trust. These provisions are foundational duties, not bargaining tools.

On a broader level, the issue touches on autonomy and preparation for adulthood. Teenagers who are routinely placed in caretaker roles may struggle to develop independence if their time and energy are consumed by family obligations. Open communication, clear limits, and mutual respect are essential to prevent long-term emotional fallout and to maintain healthy family relationships.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users strongly supported the teenager, criticizing unpaid childcare expectations.

thisisstupid- − Get a job, then you will get paid for your time and you won’t have any time left to babysit so your parents won’t be able to use...

and you’ll have plenty of your own money so you won’t have to worry about them buying you anything. NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

Grand_Wolverine6532 − Providing you with shelter, food, and clothes is their responsibility! It is not charity! I’d contact CPS!

Fun-Bread-8560 − Tell them that's fine, time flies and you will be of age soon and getting the f__k out of there. WAY too Duggary for me. NTA

Ok-Region-8207 − NTA I hate parents that think their oldest children are free childcare. Your siblings are not your responsibility and yes if your parents expect you to babysit than...

ADVERTISEMENT

You do not have to do anything to earn what is legally the bare minimum of what a parent is supposed to provide for their children. I do believe in...

gifts outside of bday and Xmas and days out stuff like that but it's just wrong to make them equally or in some cases more responsible for younger siblings upbringing.

End of the day your parents chose to be parents and have as many children as they did it's up to them to find the solution,

ADVERTISEMENT

your willing to do it if you're paid so they either pay you or they pay the extravagant prices of professional childminders or they take the kids with them wherever...

Personally though if I was you I'd go find a job and start saving to move out as soon as your old enough.

[Reddit User] − Call their bluff. Honestly, in a few years you won't remember what you got for Christmas anyway.

ADVERTISEMENT

Constantly babysitting a litter of kids as a teenager will actually change your personality and mood in a big way and make it harder to get out on your own...

I know that sounds dramatic but I've seen this before and the kid always feels immense pressure to continue to go above and beyond well into their 20s (and beyond).

It stunts your life. If it was once in a blue moon that would be one thing but they should not be using you as a primary babysitter.

ADVERTISEMENT

Some commenters offered longer-term or strategic perspectives.

[Reddit User] − No. Being the eldest shouldn’t be a punishment, and free daycare!

crazypurple621 − I would get a job, and not care that they won't buy you anything for Christmas. You can't end up babysitting for free if you are never there.

ADVERTISEMENT

They are going to try sabotaging you from moving out. Get your documents and a place to line up the day you turn 18.

Zestyclose-Height-36 − Nta. do you go to school? tell the counselor you are being parentified, which is abusive. your mom should not be dumping six kids on you for hours...

can you stop going home and go to a friend’s house after school? call and tell where you are and that you are safe and you will come home when...

ADVERTISEMENT

your mom had more kids than she can handle and is using you as an escape hatch, which is very wrong. Where is she going? does she have a boyfriend...

A few reactions were blunt and intense in tone.

Salty_Thing3144 − NTA. You should not be left with SEVEN you get children to watch. You do not, furthermore, "owe" your parents for housing, clothing,

ADVERTISEMENT

feeding and providing you with medical care. They are legally obligated to do that for their children.

parodytx − NTA. Google parentification. You are being FORCED to care for all your siblings DAILY. That is not right and can get the kids removed from your parent's care...

IF you want to go full nuclear, you can tell your parents that if they leave without for arranging babysitters for the other kids, you will call the cops and...

ADVERTISEMENT

Then, tell them you will call CPS for child abuse (your parentification. ) These are NOT idle threats. They are serious accusations everyone WILL take seriously.

Your parents claims of providing shelter, food and clothes to YOU are their LEGAL responsibilities which if they did NOT provide would land them in jail.

ADVERTISEMENT

Your call on how hard you want to push it, but that is the law. Or, you could talk to a school counselor or teacher who are called mandatory reporters...

This situation underscores the tension that can arise when family help turns into expectation without consent. While contributing at home is common, consistent unpaid childcare placed on a teenager can blur boundaries and create lasting resentment.

Should older siblings be expected to provide regular childcare without pay? Where should families draw the line between helping out and exploitation? Readers are encouraged to share their views and experiences navigating similar family dynamics.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *