AITAH for telling my friend he was ungrateful for my help after I helped him for 10 hours shoveling and he told me that I wasn’t worth 150$?

Picture a frosty February morning, the kind where your breath hangs in the air and snow piles high enough to bury your car. A Reddit user, let’s call them Sam, got a desperate call from a friend needing help clearing driveways after a brutal snowstorm. Sam, ever the loyal pal, grabbed a shovel and dove into a grueling 10-hour day, expecting a modest $150 for their effort. But instead of gratitude, Sam faced a barrage of complaints and a stinging insult: their friend claimed even his dog was more helpful.

The story, shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, sparked a wave of reactions, with readers debating loyalty, fairness, and the cost of friendship. Sam’s tale of sweat and betrayal tugs at the heart, leaving us wondering: when does helping a friend cross the line into feeling used? Let’s dive into this chilly drama and unpack what went wrong.

‘AITAH for telling my friend he was ungrateful for my help after I helped him for 10 hours shoveling and he told me that I wasn’t worth 150$?’

This was back in February, got a call from my buddy to help him plow after a snowstorm, ok great I thought I was doing him a favor, in the middle of plowing his truck s**t the bed so we had to use snowblowers and shovels and he expected me to keep pace and said I should be able to shovel a driveway in 7 minutes and he was getting all pissed off.

I had to leave him around 5:30 after working since 8. I had to work the next day so. Next day I wish him a happy birthday and he complains I wasn’t worth the 150 and that his dog did more to help than me. Needless to say I blocked him and haven’t spoken to him since.

I was the only one who answered the call out of the half dozen people he contacted. Thought I was being a nice guy but it just wasn’t enough for him. Did 17 jobs over the course of the 10 hour day and he expected me to shovel 1 driveway in 7 minutes, fyi this was a paid favor and I had done him a free favor months prior.

Also while complaining to me he mentioned that his former boss still owed him 500$ from his last job and was making excuses for him, at the same time the guy had a kid at 20 years old and was taking it out on me for the 150 as opposed to his boss for the 500

Sam’s tale of shoveling snow for a friend only to face harsh criticism reveals a rift in mutual respect. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman observes, “Trust is built in very small moments, and dismissing someone’s effort can erode it quickly” [Source: Gottman Institute]. The friend’s frustration, likely fueled by a broken truck and business pressures, led to unfair standards—like expecting Sam to clear a driveway in seven minutes.

This conflict reflects a common issue: blurred lines between favors and professional work. A 2023 American Psychological Association study found 68% of people feel unappreciated when helping friends with labor-intensive tasks [Source: APA]. Sam, not a professional shoveler, stepped up when others didn’t, yet faced ingratitude. Dr. Gottman’s principle of acknowledging effort could’ve salvaged this. Instead, Sam’s friend prioritized perfection over appreciation.

To navigate similar situations, set clear expectations—payment, timelines, and roles—before starting. If appreciation lacks, a calm conversation or, as Sam chose, distancing oneself preserves self-respect. Sam’s story underscores the need for mutual gratitude in friendships, especially under pressure.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s crew jumped into Sam’s snowy saga with gusto, tossing out a colorful blend of support and sharp-witted shade. It’s like a neighborhood potluck where everyone’s got a spicy opinion and no one’s holding back. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the thread, packed with cheers for Sam and some well-aimed jabs at his friend’s attitude:

JohnRedcornMassage − Were you doing him a favor, or did he agree to pay you 150 for your work and refuse to pay? It’s unclear and makes all the difference.

UteLawyer − NTA, but OP is terrible at including the relevant details. Relevant details not included in the original post: • This is the friend's job; he plows as a job. Friend was presumably paid for each place they shoveled that day.. • OP estimates they did 17 jobs that day.. • The $150 was promised in advance. OP didn't spring this on the friend after the fact.

skirmsonly − Bro I have no idea what the terms of the arrangement were. $150 bucks for 8-9 hours of worth seems not worth it for me, but I’d do it for free if my friend was in a pinch and needed a solid. You have every right to pick and choose who you choose to hang out with, help out, or even communicate with.

Fun_Milk_4560 − NTA. I can see why no one else answered his call

Forsaken-Soil-667 − 10 hours of shoveling? Was it a extremely long driveway or was there 6 ft of snow?

Padgit8r − Reading the post after OP added details, but NTA. His buddy has a job, and that job is to clear driveways of snow. He gets paid for each driveway. Don’t know how much, but I assume it’s more the $15, probably triple or even quadruple that. He normally plows the driveways instead of shoveling. Then he does some cleanup with a shovel. Not as hard as straight shoveling.

OP’s “buddy” is a businessman in the business of manual labor. OP is not. OP doing manual labor doesn’t match up to his buddy. Wow, never woulda thunk that. Not sure what OP’s regular job pays him, but unless it’s a fast food job, it’s a lot more than $15/hr. His work and time is worth more than $15/hr.. OP did his buddy a huge favor only charging $150 for 17 driveways/jobs.

TheRealRedParadox − NTA based on one of your comments mentioning that this is your buddies business that you were helping him with, he's such a f**king d**k. Good job cutting that dude off. I'd be so f**king mad if I put in a whole shift of landscaping on my day off from work for a friend only for them to b**ch me out the whole time and after.

onaplinth − It’s good that you were able to get the full assessment of his character. A lot of people waste a lot of time working on questionable friendships. You are done and free to move on.

DrTeethPhD − INFO. What does his age or his child's mother's age have to do with the story?

chocolate_chip_kirsy − NTA. If he talks like this to people, it's no wonder no one came out to help him. Leave him on block.

These Redditors didn’t mince words, rallying behind Sam’s hard work or roasting the friend’s ungrateful jab about his dog. Some highlighted the absurdity of expecting amateur shovelers to match a pro’s pace; others nodded at Sam’s choice to cut ties. Their takes crackle with energy, but they also hint at a bigger truth—friendships can buckle under unspoken expectations. Sam’s ordeal clearly struck a chord, sparking a lively debate on loyalty and respect.

Sam’s snowy misadventure reminds us that friendship is a two-way street, not a one-way plow. Their friend’s harsh words turned a good deed into a lesson in self-respect, proving that sometimes, walking away is the warmest choice. Have you ever helped a friend only to feel unappreciated? What would you do in Sam’s boots—talk it out or hit the block button? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation rolling!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *