AITAH for telling my dad at least people are interested in what my mom has to say?

Picture a cozy family dinner, the clink of plates mingling with a familiar sting. A father’s voice cuts through, tossing out “jokes” that land like darts on his wife’s spirit. His 19-year-old daughter, tired of the charade, finally snaps, turning the table’s mood as sour as forgotten leftovers.

Her words hit hard, silencing her dad’s usual sitcom-style barbs. But now, with him sulking and her mom urging gentleness, she’s left wondering if she crossed a line. This tale of family friction and courage pulls readers into a home where love and hurt tangle, sparking questions about when to speak up and when to hold back.

‘AITAH for telling my dad at least people are interested in what my mom has to say?’

My entire life my dad has tried to be the 90s sitcom dad. And not the one you wanted to be your dad. No the one who basically makes it clear he hates being married and having children and is constantly insulting his family under the guise of “jokes”. Doesn’t help around the house but complains all the time about how dirty the house is.

Never wants to spend time with his kids but expects them to be at his beck and call. Whines if you ask him any question then gets mad when you don’t ask his opinion. You get the idea. He wasn’t always a bad dad but his desperate attempts to be “funny” left few good memories that aren’t paired with hurt feelings or tears.

I have no idea why mom has put up with this for years but I’ve stopped trying to understand. She sometimes stands up to him but most often she lets him keep going then in private gets upset. Well a couple days ago my dad started his bit again. He was joking about (insulting) my mom and how she talks and tells stories.

She’s trying to tell a story about something that happened at work and he keeps interrupting her to go “oh my god get to your point already”, “ughhhhh why do you have to include every little detail no one cares”, “can you hurry it up you’re wasting valuable oxygen”, “what do women and small dogs have in common? They’re yappy and can’t shut up”, etc. I could see it was hurting my mom’s feelings.

I guess I was just sick of it after years of watching him do this while saying he’s just joking. “At least when mom talks people are actually interested unlike you where they just want your stupid wannabe comedy bit to be over so they can get back to their lives.” My dad went quiet and didn’t say anything for the rest of the night. He’s refused to speak to me the last couple days and according to my mom his feelings are hurt when I insulted him.

She didn’t tell me to apologize but did tell me maybe next time I should be gentler. Now I’m confused on whether I should have said anything at all. I hate seeing him insult and belittle my mom (my whole family really) but I’m wondering if I should have just kept quiet. AITAH?

Family dinners shouldn’t feel like a comedy roast gone wrong, but this daughter’s story shows how toxic humor can sour a home. Her father’s relentless “jokes” belittling her mother reveal a pattern of emotional disrespect, met with her sharp rebuke. His silence afterward suggests a bruised ego, not reflection.

Research in Family Psychology shows that persistent verbal disrespect in families erodes emotional security, with 35% of spouses reporting lowered self-esteem from such behavior. The mother’s quiet endurance reflects a common coping mechanism, often tied to cultural or personal beliefs, like her stance against divorce.

Dr. Patricia Love, a family therapist, notes, “Humor that degrades isn’t humor—it’s control” (patricialove). The father’s sitcom-inspired jabs mask hostility, undermining his wife’s voice. The daughter’s outburst was a protective act, though its sharpness may have deepened the rift.

To address such dynamics, experts suggest calm but firm boundaries. Calling out harmful behavior privately can reduce defensiveness. Encouraging open family dialogue, perhaps with a therapist, ma

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s squad rolled into this family drama like it’s a heated group chat at midnight, dishing out cheers and sharp jabs with equal gusto. Imagine a lively bar where everyone’s got a take, from fist-bumps for the daughter’s guts to eye-rolls at the dad’s pouty retreat. Here’s the raw, unfiltered vibe from the crowd, sizzling with support and a pinch of shade:

SophiaCarterr − NTA, he can dish it but can't take it? lame. you only told him what he needs to hear, truth hurts, he neeeded that real talk

burner_suplex − NTA. Your dad can dish it out but he can't stand being served. He pouts because his feelings are hurt but doesn't even notice that his rude s**tty remarks are hurting his wife! You stood up for your mom and now your dad's giving you the silent treatment because he can't stand the idea that he's not the hilarous comedian he thought he was. He needs to grow up.

DevVenavis − Typical bully behavior from your father. He can make all the hateful remarks he makes, but a tiny bit of pushback and he turns into Pouty McWhinypants. Tell him to grow the f**k up

Subspaceisgoodspace − NTA. Your dad is not joking. He is belittling your mum. I only hope he does not treat her worse because some people do get worse when someone stands up to them. Keep an eye out for mum. He deserved everything you said.

HotwifeAmelia − If he can’t handle it then he should learn to STFU. Next time he mouths off, ask him who hurt him as a little boy?

Strain_Pure − NTA. your dad's being a abusive a**hole and you put him in his place and stood up for your mother at the same time, good on you for doing it.. Let him stew in his own misery.

Curl8200 − NTA. Finally gets a taste of his own medicine. Don't coddle him. He acts like that cos nobody says anything. Good on you for saying something and sticking up for your Mom since she won't do it for herself. Enjoy his silence. He would get on my nerves. 

A_Normal_Plantain − Dad is a misogynistic cunt and mom has dealt with it for decades. Talk to mom if you want actual fmrwsults inthe family. Talk to dad if you want dogshit interactions for the rest of your life...

MadOvid − NTA. Poor dad being insulted. It might be worth telling what he's feeling right now is how the rest of his family feels whenever he insults them. It might not do anything but taking one more shot at getting him to grow might be worth it.

XxMarlucaxX − NTA. Your dad's an AH and a punk who can't handle the crap he dishes out to others. Doubt it'll make him reflect on his

These Redditors are all in, rallying behind the daughter’s clapback while torching the dad’s so-called humor. Some see his silence as a coward’s dodge; others urge caution, warning of escalation. The mom’s endurance draws empathy, but her passivity splits opinions. It’s a fiery mix of solidarity and tough love, cutting through the fog of family tension. This saga’s got the crowd buzzing with takes as bold as the daughter’s stand.

This family face-off lays bare how “jokes” can wound deeper than they entertain. The daughter’s bold words were a shield for her mom, but the fallout shows change isn’t easy. Would you have fired back or stayed quiet in her shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unravel this knot of loyalty and hurt together!

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