AITAH for still not forgiving my fiance?

A 28-year-old pregnant woman grapples with forgiving her fiance after he accused her of cheating and kicked her out upon learning of her pregnancy, believing his vasectomy made it impossible. The fallout cost her friends and her workplace reputation. After a DNA test proved he’s the father, he’s trying to make amends, but her pain lingers.

Shared widely online, this story has sparked debates about trust and forgiveness in relationships. Is she wrong for holding onto the hurt? The community’s responses offer raw insights into healing from betrayal and rebuilding trust when a child is on the way.

‘AITAH for still not forgiving my fiance?’

The story begins with a couple’s history and a shocking pregnancy revelation.

So I'm 28f and my fiance is 32m. We have be together for 4 years. So for some context he has one child who he had at 16, she lives...

at 20 he got a vasectomy as he didn't want anymore kids. I never really wanted kids, my mindset was if I have one I have one if I don't...

His accusations and actions caused deep emotional and social damage.

He threw me out that same day. I was so sad, and lonely I was able to stay with my mother as she believed me, I lost a lot of...

He tries to make things right, but she’s haunted by the past.

He was begging me to take him back, and go live with him again and let him make it up to me. He has been doing very well of doing...

I really want to forgive him I really really do as he seems like he will make a good father, and his daughter is so excited for her little sister,...

All I do is just remember how when I had my morning sickness my mother took care of me not him, how when I needed to go to the hospital...

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I just don't know if I should forgive him and try to put it past us. My best friend said I should just let the past be the past and...

Can trust be rebuilt after such a painful betrayal?

This 28-year-old woman, pregnant with her fiance’s child, faces a heart-wrenching dilemma after he accused her of cheating and threw her out, assuming his vasectomy ruled out fatherhood. The fallout—lost friends, a tarnished work reputation, and emotional isolation—left deep scars. Now, with a DNA test proving he’s the father, he’s pulling out all the stops to make amends, but her pain from those lonely, unsupported months lingers.

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On the other hand, his initial reaction, though cruel, may have stemmed from shock and ignorance about vasectomy failure rates. His efforts to make things right show regret, but they don’t erase the trust he shattered. Her struggle to forgive is valid, as healing from such a betrayal takes time and mutual effort.

Relationship therapist Dr. Sue Johnson notes, “Trust in a relationship takes time to rebuild, especially after betrayal” (Hold Me Tight, 2008). She’s not wrong for holding onto her hurt, as it reflects a need to protect herself and her child.

She should consider couples therapy to address trust issues and her trauma, alongside individual therapy to process her emotions. He needs to go beyond nursery setups, perhaps publicly correcting the narrative he spread about her. If forgiveness feels impossible, parting ways and focusing on motherhood may be healthier.

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This story highlights that forgiveness is a personal journey, not a mandate. A strong relationship requires trust and respect, rebuilt through consistent effort from both sides.

Check out how the community responded:

The online community rallied behind her right to feel hurt.

Many affirmed she’s not wrong for struggling to forgive.

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Unhappy_Wishbone_551 − If you feel like you can move past it, go to counseling together. But you don't have to move past it.

ThatWhichLurks782 − My husband's vasectomy failed as well and I got pregnant. You know what he didn't do? Accuse me of cheating on him and throw me out. NTA if...

fish0814 − Nope. He s__t on you before he had any answers. Immediately assumed you were a cheater. No going back from that

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Users called out his reckless accusations and their lasting impact.

No-Mechanic-3048 − Is he telling everyone his vasectomy failed and he’s the father? Are people apologizing for accusing you of cheating? If not, I wouldn’t move forward yet.

merrycat − Before you forgive him, what has he done to actually make amends? Has he contacted everyone he smeared your name to and admitted that he was making totally...

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Honestly, I can forgive this, but I could never forget. You've seen how he acts when he thinks you've wronged him. Would you ever feel safe letting yourself or your...

I'm not saying keep him from his child, obviously. But both you and kiddo need your own money, your own separate support system, and a safe place you can retreat...

Hot-Tip-9783 − He showed you his worst, how he reacts in difficult situations. Is that how you want to spend your life, wondering if the slightest thing you do would...

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He wouldn’t even listen to you, how would someone with that temperament make a good father? Can you imagine walking around on eggshells for the rest of your life afraid...

Some urged therapy and stressed protecting her and her child’s future.

ConsistentCheesecake − This seems like a case where therapy is needed—together and perhaps individually for you, to figure out if you can trust him again. Personally I think he ought...

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but since he apparently didn’t know that, I can see why he assumed you must have cheated. But that doesn’t mean you have to forgive him, or even that you...

Tricky-Temporary-777 − This is all about what you are able to forgive. Do not take into account anything else because if you don't let this go, it will ruin the...

Instead he chose the worse possible option and you had to suffer because of it. If he would've never gotten the test you will still be with your mother and...

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howdiedoodie66 − If I were him, I would have immediately scheduled an appointment with a Dr. to confirm I was still sterile. I assume he never did that in that...

chiefholdfast − "He threw me out the same day." F__k no.

The consensus supports her right to withhold forgiveness, highlighting her fiance’s disrespectful actions and their deep impact. They recommend therapy to navigate trust issues and urge her to secure a support system for herself and her child.

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Forgiveness is a personal choice, not an obligation, especially after deep betrayal. A healthy relationship demands trust and respect, rebuilt through time and effort. Therapy and open communication can guide the path forward, whether together or apart.

Should she try to forgive her fiance or walk away to protect herself? How can trust be rebuilt after a major betrayal?

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