AITAH for refusing to visit my brother in the hospital after his surgery and telling my parents I don’t like him and won’t be there for him in the future?

A 17-year-old guy just dropped a bombshell on his parents: after his 15-year-old brother had emergency appendix surgery with serious complications, he flat-out refused to visit him in the hospital—even once—and told them straight up that he doesn’t like his brother, doesn’t care how he’s doing, and won’t be there for him in the future. The parents were devastated. They spent the entire week of the hospital stay begging their older son to show some concern, reminding him that brothers are supposed to look out for each other.

When the younger brother finally came home, they pressed him for an explanation. He didn’t hold back: years of blatant favoritism had turned his brother into a selfish, entitled person who only talks to him when he wants something, and he’s done putting up with it. The parents called him heartless and insisted he can’t just “disown” his own sibling. The internet, however, had a very different take.

‘AITAH for refusing to visit my brother in the hospital after his surgery and telling my parents I don’t like him and won’t be there for him in the future?’

Everything came to a head when the younger brother’s appendix burst and complications forced him to stay in the hospital for over a week:

Once the brother was home and things calmed down a bit, the parents asked why he wouldn’t even visit once:

He then laid out years of examples of favoritism and entitlement:

This situation highlights a classic case of parental favoritism creating deep resentment between siblings. When parents consistently prioritize one child—whether through small concessions like extra TV time or bigger ones like excusing bad behavior—they unintentionally teach the favored child entitlement while making the other feel invisible and undervalued.

The older sibling’s feelings are completely understandable: years of being asked to sacrifice his own needs and comfort have eroded any natural brotherly bond. The younger brother’s selfish actions (like refusing to quiet down when his sick brother asked, or locking the bathroom during food poisoning) are direct results of never being held accountable. Parents often think “he’s the baby” or “it’s harmless,” but over time, it builds deep hurt and detachment.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist specializing in family dynamics, has noted that “favoritism is one of the most damaging things parents can do to sibling relationships. It creates a lifelong sense of injustice and can lead to permanent estrangement.” The key is for parents to recognize their role in the breakdown and stop expecting the resentful child to magically “fix” it by forcing closeness.

Practical advice for the older sibling: protect your emotional energy. Focus on building independence—get a part-time job, save money in an account your parents can’t access, plan for college or moving out. You don’t owe anyone forced affection. If your parents want to repair things, they need to start by acknowledging the favoritism and changing their behavior, not guilting you into pretending everything’s fine.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The overwhelming majority of commenters sided with the 17-year-old, calling his parents terrible for enabling favoritism and creating this broken dynamic.

Most users blasted the parents for blatant favoritism and creating an entitled “golden child”, saying they’re reaping what they sowed and have no right to guilt-trip their older son now:

A smaller group offered empathy and long-term advice, urging the OP to plan for independence and go low/no contact if needed once he’s able:

A few commenters shared personal stories, warning about the lifelong damage favoritism can cause:

One commenter urged keeping the door slightly open for the future, but still affirmed the OP’s right to set boundaries.:

This story exposes the painful fallout when parents play favorites: one child grows up feeling invisible, the other grows up entitled, and the sibling bond is shattered beyond easy repair. While most people agree the 17-year-old is not wrong for protecting himself, the parents’ refusal to acknowledge their role only deepens the wound.

If you’ve ever experienced or witnessed blatant favoritism in a family, how did it affect sibling relationships long-term? Do you think the older brother should try to forgive and rebuild, or is it healthier to focus on his own future and keep distance? Share your thoughts below—we’d love to hear your take.