AITAH for refusing to take my sister’s kids to school after they’ve been bullying my son?

Imagine opening your home to family in need, only for their kids to turn your son’s safe haven into a torment zone. For one father, welcoming his sister and her two children after her divorce seemed like the right thing—until her teens started bullying his quiet 13-year-old son, Ethan. Name-calling, rifling through his things, and ruining his school project pushed Ethan to tears, while his sister brushed it off as “normal sibling stuff.”

Fed up, the father draws a line, refusing to drive her kids to school—a daily favor he’d done for months. Now, his sister cries foul, accusing him of pettiness, while family opinions split. Was his stand a fair defense of his son, or an overreach that punishes his sister unfairly? Readers are hooked, diving into this messy blend of family loyalty and parental duty.

‘AITAH for refusing to take my sister’s kids to school after they’ve been bullying my son?’

A bit of background: My sister (Sarah) and her two kids (Jake 14M and Mia 12F) recently moved in with us after Sarah went through a rough divorce. She’s been staying with us for about six months now, and we’ve tried to be as accommodating as possible. My wife (Laura) and I have one son, Ethan (13M). At first, everything was fine, and the kids got along okay.

Over the last few months, however, Jake and Mia have been making Ethan’s life miserable. They’ve been teasing him constantly, calling him names, and even going through his things when we’re not around. It’s been especially bad for Ethan because he’s more introverted and quiet. He’s come to us multiple times, upset about things they’ve said or done, and I’ve tried addressing it with Sarah.

Her response has been pretty dismissive, saying, “It’s just normal sibling stuff. They’ll grow out of it.” The tipping point came last week when Ethan told me that Jake had taken his school project – something he’d spent days working on – and ruined it by drawing all over it. Ethan was in tears. When I confronted Jake, he laughed it off like it was a joke.

Sarah didn’t seem to think it was a big deal and said Ethan was being too sensitive. Laura was furious but tried to stay calm. I finally had enough and told Sarah that if she couldn’t keep her kids in check, I wasn’t going to keep doing favors like driving them to school every day. I’ve been taking all the kids to school since Sarah moved in because her car broke down and she hasn’t been able to get it fixed.

It’s about a 20-minute detour for me, and I was happy to do it at first, but after all this, I told her it was too much, and she needed to figure it out on her own. Now, Sarah is upset, saying I’m punishing her and her kids over something small, and it’s not fair for me to leave her stranded. She even went as far as to say I was being petty and holding a grudge against the kids.

She thinks I’m overreacting and should just let it go for the sake of family harmony. My wife is 100% on my side and thinks Sarah’s kids have been out of line for months. But now Sarah’s giving me the cold shoulder and telling other family members that I’m being unreasonable.. So, AITAH for refusing to drive them to school anymore?

Bullying in the home is a gut-punch, and this father’s refusal to drive his sister’s kids to school is a desperate bid to protect his son. Sarah’s dismissal of her children’s cruelty—name-calling, property damage, and emotional torment—shows a failure to parent, leaving Ethan vulnerable in his own space.

Dr. John Duffy, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Bullying by family members can be especially damaging, as home should be a safe sanctuary” (Psychology Today). Jake and Mia’s actions, especially ruining Ethan’s school project, cross into deliberate harm, not “sibling antics.” Sarah’s minimization enables this, risking Ethan’s self-esteem and academic performance.

This reflects broader issues of family dynamics in shared living. A 2021 study in Journal of Family Psychology found 35% of cohabiting relatives face conflict over child discipline, often escalating without clear boundaries. The father’s boundary—halting school rides—is a step, but Reddit’s push for eviction highlights the stakes.

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Dr. Duffy advises “firm consequences and open dialogue.” The father could give Sarah an ultimatum: discipline her kids or find new housing. Installing a lock on Ethan’s door could offer immediate relief.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s hive mind roared to life, with some cheering the father’s stand and others urging him to kick his sister out. Here’s a slice of their fiery, no-holds-barred takes:

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Fioreborn - Overall NTA but you only stated that you wouldn't drive them to school? Why the hell haven't you kicked them out?! They are bullying your son! By ruining his school project they are messing with his grades. What if that project is the difference between a pass and a fail? They are bullying him in his own home. Kick them out and anyone who tells you you're being horrible and unfair, ask them when are they taking her in then?

rowanspride - YTA.  (Accidently put nta, but corrected it) The bullying is going to get worse for Ethan unless you put an immediate stop to this. You need to protect him. Your sister is allowing her children to do this while you graciously opened your home to them.  Because she is doing nothing her kids are taking it as permission to do so. 

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You took the 1st step.  Let her know that there will be consequences for their behavior... if she doesn't parent/ discipline her kids you will. Why are you putting your sister before your son? You really need to tell your sister to move out. Give her 30/60/90 days, whatever  you can work out, to find a place and move out.

Though I can see her dragging it out and playing victim of you being so cruel to a single mother.  Though honestly 30 DAYS IS  MORE THAN ENOUGH. Ethan deserves to feel safe in his own home and he isn't.  Eventually the bullying by his cousins will turn physical, like tripping, pushing, slap upside the head and then called joking. Is that what you want for him..  To see that its ok to be abused ..because they are family?   

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The part where your sister said it was normal sibling stuff pissed me off.  1) they aren't Ethans siblings, 2) sibling generally don't do this to their siblings/family.  Also, put a lock for Ethan on his door to protect his possessions and privacy, if he has his own room.    It's time you make your son's well-being a priority, this is causing irreparable damage to his  self-esteem.

This age is going through a lot of physical and emotional changes and such treatment can negatively his emotional development. Why has your wife not stood up for her son? 100% on your side doesnt mean anything if there is no action.  Ethan needs protecting and you both aren't doing it. . P.S.This is how some kid gets on the news for snapping.

EmceeSuzy - I think YTA because you're imposing a penalty that doesn't do anything and doesn't mean anything. Refusing to drive her kids while they still live in the house is going to amp up hostilities.. You need to tell Sarah that she has one week to get out. The end.

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[Reddit User] - YTA. Not for refusing to take the kids to school, but for letting your sister and the children remain in your home, in Ethans home, allowing them to torment him in a place he should feel safe. It's ultimatum time. Either your sister starts taking Ethans feelings seriously and gets her kids under control or she needs to find somewhere else to live.

CinnamonBlue - They’ve outstayed their welcome. Good thing is there are other family members who are happy to support them. Get boxes cos they’re packing.

PrettyPrincess743 - You’re not the a**hole because you’ve been more than accommodating by allowing Sarah and her kids to live with you and driving them to school for months. The issue isn’t about a small favor; it’s about the constant bullying your son, Ethan, has endured.

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Sarah’s kids have repeatedly disrespected him, and despite addressing it with her, she dismissed their behavior as “normal.” When Jake ruined Ethan’s school project, Sarah downplayed it again, showing no regard for your son’s feelings. Refusing to drive them to school is a reasonable boundary after Sarah’s refusal to take responsibility for her kids’ actions. You’re protecting your son and setting limits, which is completely justified.

[Reddit User] - NTA - I would have kicked her out after this b**lshit. She needs to discipline and curb her kids. 'for the sake of family harmony' - what b**lshit - I would have rubbed her nose in that one. 'Family harmony? There is none since you won't discipline your kids for doing s**tty things.'

[Reddit User] - YTA. What an absolute parenting fail this is. Kick their asses out and keep them away from your kid.

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Bitbatgaming - NTA, She says for the sake of family harmony when her son and her are implementing discord. Her son needs a serious talking to and parenting, and punishment if applicable.

drtennis13 - YTA but not overfishing to drive your niblings to school. YTA for not kicking them out of the house and not standing up for your son. You knew this was a problem and did nothing. Time for them to go. If they have to live in a shelter, then so be it.

Maybe it would teach your entitled sister and niblings not to bite the hand that feeds them and have some gratitude.. You are a failed parent and are failing your son. Man up and kick them out!!!!

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These Reddit opinions are as sharp as a playground taunt, but do they nail the heart of this family feud, or just crank up the drama?

This family saga begs the question: when does helping family cross into harming your own? The father’s refusal to drive his sister’s kids to school was a stand for his bullied son, but her cries of unfairness muddy the waters. Was he right to pull back, or should he have gone further? What would you do if family turned your home into a battleground? Share your thoughts—let’s unpack this household havoc!

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