Aitah for refusing to stop breastfeeding in public at my sister’s wedding?

Tiana Garrett Hours
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Tucked behind a curtain at her sister’s wedding, a new mom quietly breastfeeds, hoping for a moment of peace. But the clink of champagne glasses turns to chaos when the venue manager storms in, demanding she stop or leave, citing complaints from a nearby retirement party. With no private space and broken bathrooms, this maid of honor faced an impossible choice on a day meant for celebration.

This story hums with tension, pitting a mother’s instinct against outdated prejudice. The bride’s fierce support and the manager’s bizarre demands—like a $200 cake fee—paint a vivid scene of loyalty and absurdity. Readers are drawn into a drama where love, rights, and a drunken manager collide, sparking questions about decency and duty.

‘Aitah for refusing to stop breastfeeding in public at my sister’s wedding?’

I was maid of honor. I am 26 f. My sister is 24 female. It was a great day except for this. I couldn't use the bathroom to breastfeed because it was up four flights of stairs. There was literally nowhere left to go. Both downstairs bathroom with a baby/powder room was out of order.

My sister and none of my family cared I was doing it.They didn't even know what I was doing because I was off to the side behind a curtain. until the manager loudly tells me they had complaints from other wedding parties. There was no other weddings there.

There was a retirement party and they were older and mad about the bathroom situation. She suggested I breastfeed in the car and that I should have gotten a sitter. and told me to stop breastfeeding or get out. It was an older woman too. My sister wasn't mad at me and told her she paid through the nose to use this and to mind her business.

The manager also tried to say as we were leaving they weren't allowed to have cakes from other venues and there would be a two hundred dollar processing fee. It has to be paid in cash in 24 hours or the police will be called.

My sister was pissed. I went there to pay it since it was my fault and my sister was on her honey moon.The staff said not to worry about it. The manager is a pos and she was totally wasted. Wtf

This wedding fiasco is like a bad sitcom with a real-world sting. La Leche League International’s Dr. Jane Morton notes, “Breastfeeding in public is a protected right, fostering infant health and maternal bonding” (La Leche League). In the U.S., all 50 states legally protect public breastfeeding, yet stigma persists, as this mom faced.

The manager’s demand to breastfeed in a car or hire a sitter ignores the venue’s failure to provide accessible facilities, a potential ADA violation. A 2022 CDC report shows 83% of U.S. mothers breastfeed, yet many face harassment (CDC). The manager’s intoxication and baseless cake fee suggest unprofessionalism, not policy. The bride’s support aligns with family unity, but the incident reflects broader cultural divides over public breastfeeding.

Dr. Morton advocates education to normalize breastfeeding. The mom’s discreet act behind a curtain was reasonable, and the manager’s outburst overstepped. Redditors rightly call this extortion-like behavior unacceptable.

For solutions, the sister should review the venue contract for hidden fees and report the manager to state labor boards or consumer protection agencies. The mom could share her story on review platforms to warn others. Advocating for breastfeeding rights through local groups strengthens community support, ensuring no mom faces such shaming again.

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Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew roared in like a protective squad, dishing out support and shade for the manager’s antics. It’s like a virtual rally where everyone’s got a megaphone:

1955photo − NTA. Your sister should have asked for a deep discount due to inadequate restroom facilities.

G0dlessandHuman − This boils my blood. I work in lactation and there is a huge generational gap in bf acceptance. You dear are NTA. Koodos to you for BF your baby when they were hungry,

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and not doing it in a dirty bathroom. Good job for advocating for yourself. You only need to care what the bride thinks and since she and family were supporting you then report that manager for being the A.H.

[Reddit User] − NTA at all. This manager needs to be exposed. I'd write a scathing review on Yelp or wherever and I wouldn't pay that fee. Calling the police on you is an absurd threat.

You can't be arrested for feeding your child and if this 'processing fee' isn't in the contract for the venue, neither you nor your sister have any legal obligation to pay it. This sounds like extortion. I wouldn't be surprised if this manager just pockets the $200 for herself.

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Ambitious-Writer-825 − Assuming you are in the US (they don't care in other countries) breastfeeding is legally protected. As in, there are laws on the books in all 50 states plus DC, that says you can breastfeed anywhere you and baby are.. I don't know what (if any) penalties there are, but it might be good and cathartic to report this.. NTA

Confident_Nav6767 − I’m pretty sure breastfeeding is federally protected so what she did may have been illegal. Unless this is out of Us. Although this problem seems to be mostly an American purity culture bs problem.

Responsible-Sky5667 − I'm 64, when I had my first child and was in the military I worked in an all male shop. My sister would bring my daughter to work on my duty nights (worked all night long every 3rd night) so I could b**ast feed. Normal daytime hours I would pump. There was no place to pump or b**ast feed.

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My boss got the guys together and asked if they minded if I used the supply room ( this was an extremely large room ) guys said no problem. While pumping or feeding sometimes the guy would have to come in to get parts they would knock, ask if it was ok.

NO problems what ever. Before I stopped b**ast feeding it got to the point they stopped knocking and would sometimes even stop to chat while I was 'doing my business'. It's a natural part of life and ONLY in America is it not a part of normal everyday business.

No, NTAH! Continue b**ast feeding wherever you want to. I believe several years ago a couple tried a big company because they were asked to leave when the women was feeding. She won big time.

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roman1969 − Who on earth eats in a bathroom, even if they were open! Call it a ‘powder room’ all you want, it’s still a bathroom and eating in one is definitely not an option. Why should a baby do so?. NTAH and I’d write a very targeted letter of complaint.

No_Profile_3343 − NTA in general, you shouldn’t have to be breastfeeding in a bathroom. Those who think you should, should take their meals there too!

Time-Tie-231 − NTA. The manager's actions would illegal in the UK. You should be praised to the heavens for breastfeeding your child and for going against such prejudice. You are doing the very best for the child, for yourself and for the health of the nation.

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jacksonlove3 − NTA but you could report the manager for her rudeness and the venue for not being up to ADA standards!! Your sister also needs to check her contract she signed about the cake issue and anything else in question. This lady was straight rude for no reason!

These Redditors championed the mom’s rights, slamming the manager’s overreach. Some urged legal action, others shared breastfeeding triumphs. But do their fiery takes capture the full chaos of this wedding drama, or just fan the flames?

This tale is a fiery mix of maternal love, sisterly loyalty, and venue absurdity. The mom’s resolve to feed her baby despite harassment shines as a beacon of courage. It’s a reminder that rights are hard-won and prejudice lingers. Have you ever faced judgment for a natural choice? What would you do in this mom’s shoes? Share your stories below!

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