AITAH for pointing out my girlfriends hypocrisy when it comes to cheating?

In a cozy apartment, a couple’s casual chat about a night out turns sour. A girlfriend, long vocal about her hatred for cheaters after her ex’s betrayal, laughs off her friend’s flirty antics with random guys at a club—dancing, touching, even attempting a kiss. When her boyfriend calls it cheating and questions her double standards, her defense—“nothing happened”—and her unease at his hypothetical scenario expose a rift. It’s a fiery clash of principles and loyalty.

Readers sense the tension of a relationship tested by inconsistent morals. This Reddit tale isn’t just about a night out; it’s about trust, fairness, and confronting uncomfortable truths in love. With Reddit waving red flags, let’s dive into the drama of this hypocrisy showdown.

‘AITAH for pointing out my girlfriends hypocrisy when it comes to cheating?’

I have been with my partner for 2 years and she's always been vocal about how much she hates cheating and it's something she could never forgive etc after her ex bf cheated on her. One of my friends cheated on his partner and my gf ranted for a while about how awful he was.

Again I agreed that he shouldn't have cheated etc and didn't try to condone his behaviour. My gf went out on a night out with 3 of her friends. All of them are in relationships. The next morning my gf was talking about the night

and kept talking about how one of her friends kept going up to random guys, dancing with them, having her arms around them and she said it looked like she tried to kiss one of them but they said no. My gf said all of this while joking about the night.

I mentioned that her friends a cheat then or at least trying to be and that I feel bad for her bf and that her deserves to know. My gf disagreed and said she isn't a cheat since nothing happened so I asked my gf if she would be happy with me dancing with random women on a night out

and trying to kiss one of them and she said no but that's different. I just pointed out she's seeming to condone cheating when its her friends or when it's women cheating but if its a man or someone she doesn't know then she is immediately disgusted by cheating.

I pointed out it's double standard/hypocritical of her to say she hates cheats but then brush past her friend trying to cheat on her partner. She said I'm wrong and that I'm out of line for calling her a h**ocrite. AITAH for pointing out my girlfriends hypocrisy?

Relationships thrive on shared values, and this couple’s clash over cheating reveals a troubling disconnect. The girlfriend’s vocal disdain for infidelity, rooted in past hurt, contrasts sharply with her leniency toward her friend’s actions—flirting and attempting to kiss strangers while in a relationship. Her dismissal of it as “nothing happened” ignores intent, which is as damaging as outcome. The boyfriend’s hypothetical—asking if she’d tolerate him doing the same—exposes her double standard, and her weak defense suggests bias, possibly tied to gender or loyalty to friends.

About 20% of people admit to cheating or attempting to, per a 2023 YouGov poll. Intent to cheat, like the friend’s actions, signals disrespect for a partner, regardless of rejection. The girlfriend’s hypocrisy risks eroding trust, especially if she socializes with friends who share this behavior.

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Dr. Shirley Glass, a relationship expert, notes, “Excusing infidelity in close circles normalizes it, threatening relationship boundaries”. Here, the girlfriend’s laughter at her friend’s actions clashes with her stated values. Dr. Glass’s insight validates the boyfriend’s concern. They need an honest talk about boundaries and what fidelity means. Counseling could clarify their values.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s dropping some spicy takes on this one, mixing warnings with righteous indignation. Here’s the raw scoop from the community—sharp and unfiltered.

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Neither-Safety-7090 - NTA. Your gf sounds pretty immature if she can’t see the double standard there. “No but that’s different” is the definition of double standard.

[Reddit User] - NTA.. Cheating is wrong. Trying to cheat is wrong. Flirting with cheating is wrong.. No double standards.

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WiseOwlPoker - NTA but your GF sure is a huge h**ocrite and provided you with a huge red flag. So on the bright side, at least she showed you her true shelf before you married her.. I think you need to have a bigger discussion with your GF.

PNW20v - NTA. I'd think real hard about this if I were you lol.

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Talkingmice - NTA - Boy do I have news for you…. If your gf has a chance to cheat on you she will. Condoning this behavior means she fundamentally sees no problem with it.. I would consider getting out of there before s**t hits the fan.

[Reddit User] - NTA. A) your girl is a h**ocrite B) if that's how her friends behave when they go out, and she laughs and jokes about it like it's nbd, then what do you think your gf is doing during these outings? Highly doubt she's just standing at the bar not doing the same things her friends are....

Daughter_of_Dusk - NTA. You are right, she's being a h**ocrite. Nothing happened just because the guys rejected her friend. If they hadn't, she would have cheated, she had every intention to. That's just as bad. It shows her friend has zero respect for her partner.

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r_was61 - are you sure it was her friend and not her?

MeltedWellie - 'no but that's different'. No, no it is not. It is exactly the same! NTA OP, rethink your relationship. She will cheat on you if the opportunity presents itself. I wish you all the best in the future, hopefully with her as an ex!

sportjames23 - NTA and 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 like a mofo, dude.

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These Reddit opinions are bold, but do they miss the nuance of navigating a partner’s contradictions?

This Reddit saga asks: when does calling out hypocrisy protect a relationship, and when does it strain it? The boyfriend’s challenge to his girlfriend’s double standards on cheating—condemning strangers but excusing friends—strikes at the heart of trust. Love demands consistency. What would you do when your partner’s values waver? Drop your stories below—have you faced a similar clash over morals? Let’s keep the convo going.

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