AITAH: For not wanting to sell my house as a widower with 2 young kids?

A widower’s cozy two-story home, brimming with memories, stands at the heart of a tough choice. After losing his wife to cancer, this dad of two young kids treasures their half-acre haven next to their school. His girlfriend of six months, a vibrant woman who adores his children, dreams of a fresh start in a new house, uneasy about living in his late wife’s shadow.

But with soaring home prices and his kids’ roots deep in their home, he’s hesitant to sell. In a neighborhood where stability means everything, this tale of love, loss, and priorities unfolds. Can he balance a new romance with his kids’ needs, or will his home’s memories anchor him in place?

‘AITAH: For not wanting to sell my house as a widower with 2 young kids?’

So my late wife of almost 11yrs passed away 1.5yrs ago from cancer. Our marriage was amazing and we had the perfect life. I was by her side until the end and we have a now 8yr old daughter and 4yr old son. Daughter is in therapy, son still doesn't quite understand, so I feel the need to make sure he doesn't forget his mommy, so I share pics and vids of her.

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For the past 6mos, I've been dating a wonderful, understanding woman that is beautiful, successful, younger, never been married and has no kids and owns her own house. We're both professionals and she makes more than me. She absolutely loves the kids and they love her.

So, I'm not one to hold back in my intentions, but we have discussed our future together. I've lived in my house for 5-6yrs. My kids have grown up in this house. I've taken down a lot of pics of my late wife and me outta respect for my GF. Understandably, she has hesitation beginning our new life as a family in the same house.

I don't like moving, I got a pool, half acre, literally right next to their school, two story BIG house. My daughter doesn't wanna leave her school nor do I since they've handled the passing of her mom beautifully. It's worth almost double what we bought it for because of inflation,

and she wants to explore buying a similar house in the same school district. I don't want to lose my equity since it's for my kids and retirement. Any house that is similar is going to be ridiculously overpriced and God forbid a collapse happens again. AITAH for not wanting to sell for another house?

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EDIT: I also gave her free range to decide any renovations to my house if she decides to move in.

EDIT 2: She's not talking about selling the home now, but in the future for when we eventually live together.

EDIT 3: Pics of me and my late wife were placed in kids' rooms. Family pics and pics of her and the kids still up in the house.

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EDIT 4: She's 32, I'm 40. I consider that young.

EDIT 5: Showed her this post where we were both ripped to shreds, and she agreed with the most of you.

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EDIT 6: As it comes to erasure, she has made it a point to keep the memory of their mom alive and speaks to both of them about her encouraging them to tell her stories about their mom. She is a proponent of keeping family pics with her up.

This widower’s reluctance to sell his family home pits new love against cherished memories. His girlfriend’s push for a fresh start is understandable, but after just six months, her request overlooks the kids’ stability and his financial security. The home’s equity, school proximity, and emotional ties make selling a tough sell. Reddit’s chorus, urging him to prioritize his kids, echoes this.

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Blended families face unique challenges. A 2022 Pew Research study found 60% of step-parents struggle with integrating into existing family dynamics. The girlfriend’s discomfort is valid, but rushing to sell ignores the kids’ need for continuity, especially after their mother’s death. Her willingness to keep their mom’s memory alive is a positive sign, but six months is early for such a big move.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, says, “New partners must respect a family’s existing bonds before reshaping them.” The widower’s offer to renovate shows flexibility, but his girlfriend’s focus on a new home may signal unreadiness for his family’s reality. He should slow down, discussing timelines and renovations to ease her concerns while keeping the kids’ needs first. Couples counseling could align their goals.

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If talks stall, staying put protects his kids’ stability and equity. This saga underscores that love grows through patience, not pressure.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit brought fierce takes on this widower’s dilemma. Here’s what they shared:

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annebonnell - NTA a 6 months relationship is too soon to be thinking of marriage or moving in, and certainly not selling your house. Did she ask you to take down the pictures of you and your wife? A 6 month relationship is barely over the infatuation phase of every relationship. It's still in the honeymoon stage.

Puzzleheaded_Bet3455 - Yta if you sell. She has her own house(is it worth as much), you have your own. Keep it at that.

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Top-Bit85 - Six months is too soon.. Too soon to be involved with the kids.. Too soon to be talking about moving in. Too soon to have an opinion on whether or not you should be selling your family home. She is not family.. Slow down here.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Don’t move your kids. Your daughter has lost enough. Six months is way too soon to be making this kind of commitment especially when two children are involved.

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[Reddit User] - Don't sell. If it is a Deal breaker for her, then let her go.

United-Plum1671 - NTA Just from a financial security aspect, it makes 0 sense to sell your house. You’ve been dating 6 months. You have no idea what the future holds and it would reckless to throw away such an investment.

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Equivalent_Bite_6078 - Woah woah woah.. Your wife forreal *just* died. A year and a half is barely any time at all. You started dating after a year, and thats your own business, but for the kids maybe a tad early to have a step mother involved while they are still learning to live on without their mother?. And even if this wasnt the situation. 6 months are WAY to early for her to have ANY say in your family and house. Or to move in.. Dont rush.. Nta, dont sell.

BloomNurseRN - NTA. She may be a nice enough woman but you even used the word “young” to describe her. She sounds very immature if she wants you to make that kind of financial move after only 6 months. She is NOT okay with her being a widow. She is NOT okay living in someone else’s shadow. She may act like she loves the kids now but if you sell the house and move in to a home with her, these things are very likely to change.

Please slow down. 6 months is nothing and most definitely too soon for this type of a decision. Your kids probably shouldn’t have even met her yet, quite frankly. You need to take a deep breath, slow down, and maybe even go to couples counseling together so you can get a better idea of where her head is and how she is really dealing with dating a widower with two smaller children.

[Reddit User] - NTA. There's plenty of changes you can make to the house to symbolize a new start to your lives together.. Her plan doesn't sound like what's best for the kids. And there's no magic number, but 6 months is still early enough that I'd be wary about the risk of cohabitation not working out. Only finding that out after you've sold the house could be a very painful regret.

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bucketsofpoo - Everything u do from now is for the kids.. She sounds great. But she's got to get that.. If anything transfer half the property to the kids names as it belonged to their mum. It also helps them if something terrible were to happen to u down the line and your gf actually didnt really like the kids and treated them poorly, disinherited them, forced them out of the family home.

These bold opinions champion the kids’ stability, but do they miss the girlfriend’s side?

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This widower’s tale shows how a home holds more than walls—it cradles memories and security. His stand to keep it prioritizes his kids, but his girlfriend’s dreams deserve a voice. Slow steps, like renovations or counseling, could bridge their paths. What would you do when love and legacy collide? Drop your thoughts below!

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