AITAH for not wanting my stepdaughter to move back in?

The hum of a quiet evening was shattered when a 41-year-old man’s girlfriend dropped a bombshell: her 21-year-old daughter, her jobless husband, two toddlers, and a baby on the way needed to move in. The plan? Turn his cherished mancave into their bedroom to help them “save” for a better place. With a stressful job and a teenage son already against the idea, the man’s vision of a peaceful home felt like it was slipping away.

He pushed back, citing the daughter’s history of moving in and out with unreliable partners, but his girlfriend called him selfish. The tension crackled—his home, his sanity, and maybe even his relationship hung in the balance. Was he wrong to guard his space, or was this a reasonable line to draw? This story dives into the messy clash of family loyalty and personal boundaries.

‘AITAH for not wanting my stepdaughter to move back in?’

My girlfriend, basically wife, we've been together for 11 years. Comes to me and says she wants daughter to move back in to help her out. She's 21..has 2 kids 3 and 1 is pregnant again and married. She wants to move all of them into the house so they can 'save to move to a better place' cause daughter doesn't like where they live..

I'm not a little kids person...this also involves Mr packing up my entire mancave of collectibles so they can live in it. I'm the only person working...oh and I hate her husband he's a massive weed head and can't hold jobs longer than a few months while being awful with money.

When I voice concern my girlfriend tells me all I care about is myself... nevermind our son doesn't want them to move in either...this is the daughter that has moved out and comeback 3 times since 16..each te it's with a guy and more kids and it never ends well..all the guys have been losers etc.

Sometimes I feel like stuff like this will be the end of my relationship. I have a super stressful job, having a bunch of toddlers and young parents as my home life doesn't sound relaxing.. And honestly yea I'm selfish, I'm 41 I thought I was done raiding kids.

Saying no to a stepdaughter’s family moving in? That’s a tough boundary to set, but this man’s concerns are valid. He’s staring down a major life upheaval—losing his mancave, supporting five extra people on his sole income, and dealing with a son-in-law he distrusts. His girlfriend’s accusation of selfishness stings, but her daughter’s track record of unstable moves fuels his hesitation. Meanwhile, his son’s discomfort adds another layer of family strain.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: navigating blended family dynamics. A 2022 study from Family Relations found that 65% of stepparents struggle with boundary-setting in blended households, often due to conflicting loyalties. Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, notes, “Stepparents need clear agreements to avoid resentment, especially when resources like space or money are at stake”. Here, the girlfriend’s unilateral push ignores the man’s role as the primary breadwinner and homeowner, risking tension.

The man’s refusal isn’t about rejecting family—it’s about protecting his mental health and financial stability. His girlfriend’s dismissal of his concerns, coupled with her daughter’s unclear plan to “save,” suggests a lack of mutual respect. He should initiate a calm discussion, proposing alternatives like financial planning help for the daughter or a strict timeline if they must move in. Couples counseling could also align their priorities. If the girlfriend insists, he may need to weigh the relationship’s future.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s got some fiery takes on this family showdown, and they’re serving up truth with a side of sass. Here’s what the community had to say about this man’s stand.

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ur_mom_cant_get_enuf - NTA. How are they going to save money for a better place to live if you are the only one working? You're not selfish. They have no discernable plan, except moving in with you.

hornedangel73 - NTA, no way in hell would I allow this. If your girlfriend wants to help them out that maybe she could get a job and help pay for a better place for them.

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[Reddit User] - She wants to move all of them into the house so they can 'save to move to a better place' cause daughter doesn't like where they live... **NTA. That's ridiculous. You aren't being selfish. You just want your own space and that's a Shitload of people!**

vodka_philosophy - NTA. You and your son are ALSO family and have a right to live comfortably in your own space. I would tell her straight up that, if they move in, you will immediately end the relationship and she will have to get a job to support them.. This is 100% the hill to die on.

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Redbarrow_7727 - NTA - Having your stepdaughter move back into save some money is one thing. Moving your stepdaughter, her husband, her two small children plus a third on the way is a massive, massive life change. And odds are they'll be there..forever. Plus, if you're the only one working, that is a HUGE change in cost of living. Sorry..but your partner is being unfair.

OsaBear92 - Nope. With 2 kids and a 3rd on the way, they'd move in. Daughters bf probably will dip out after the birth, then your wife will suggest you let daughter stay with the kids because, 'they have no where else and it gives me more time with my grandkids!'Nope. Big no. Its your home too.

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If she won't even try to discuss a time frame for them or other options, then it means she doesn't actually need your input. She's going to do what she wants regardless. Even if you say no they cant come? Your Gf may just let them come stay for a 'visit' then let it coincidentally turn into them staying.

And be warned. Sounds like your Gf made up her mind, that your the a**hole to her if you dont do as she wants. Which means her kid will probably be against you too. Your in a loose loose situation. Tread carefully OP. NTA. But Id be ready for the storm thats coming.

radshowmance - NTA. I'm remarried to a man who has never had children. Mine are grown and 2 have small children. The idea of telling him that he would be selfish if he did not let them move in with their children, all while not holding down jobs while he was the only breadwinner is incredibly outrageous. Your girlfriend has a whole lot of nerve.

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AussieBelgian - Mate, just going through your previous posts. Do you even like any of your 4 step kids? Is the relationship with the GF really worth all the hassle? On top of that, you say you absolutely hate your job. To me this post here sounds like it could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I’d seriously rethink your whole living situation.

leox001 - NTA. Her daughter is an adult, you aren’t obligated to do anything for her.

kab200 - NTA. A hill I would die on.

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These Redditors are drawing lines in the sand, but do their opinions hold up in real-life family dynamics?

This man’s refusal to open his home to his stepdaughter’s family isn’t about selfishness—it’s about safeguarding his space and sanity. With a stressful job and a son to consider, he’s drawn a line, but it might cost his relationship. Was he right to stand firm, or should he compromise for family? Blended families are tricky—what would you do if faced with a similar request? Drop your stories and opinions below!

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