AITAH for not wanting my fiancé going on a golf trip 2 weeks before our due date?

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In a relationship, especially during pregnancy, decisions can carry enormous emotional weight. The anticipation of new life mingles with everyday dilemmas, turning routine plans into monumental events. The issue at hand highlights one partner’s expectation for unwavering support during an unpredictable and emotional time, while the other opts for a planned getaway with friends. This contradiction leaves both parties grappling with the meaning of care and commitment.

The situation unfolds in a backdrop of mixed emotions and clear expectations. On one side, there’s the heartfelt demand for a partner’s presence during one of life’s most critical moments. On the other, there is the seemingly casual attitude toward prioritizing personal leisure over shared experiences. This clash of priorities sets the stage for a conversation about balance in relationships as major life events approach.

‘AITAH for not wanting my fiancé going on a golf trip 2 weeks before our due date?’

Me and my fiancé are pregnant with our first baby. I’m 24 weeks pregnant, due beginning of August. He brought up going on a golf trip with his friends for a weekend, 2 weeks before my due date (didn’t ask, just basically told me he was doing that).

He said it’s only a 2.5 hour drive away and labor lasts a long time so it will be ok. I told him I’ve never been in labor before and would like him to be there for me, drive me to the hospital etc. It’s a nerve-racking and possibly a once in a lifetime situation for me.

He said his mom would be happy to drive me. I told him I don’t want anyone else to drive me or be there for me. I’d rather be alone or with him. I asked him why he can’t go maybe a month before the due date because that may be a bit safer, albeit you just never know.

He says he doesn’t think that timing works for his friends. We have not been able to compromise. He’s convinced it’s not a big deal and my feelings don’t matter and I’m convinced he cares more about having fun with his friends than being there for me. Am I in the wrong?

Letting critical moments coincide with differing priorities can magnify underlying tensions in any relationship. When partners face such dilemmas, a mix of stress, anticipation, and the weight of impending responsibilities emerges. The OP’s situation is a classic example of how one partner’s desire to have fun can conflict with another’s need for support during the challenging final stages of pregnancy. Such conflicts often force couples to re-evaluate communication and expectations during times of vulnerability.

Analyzing the OP’s situation reveals a clash between emotional comfort and independent leisure pursuits. The pregnant partner’s request for the fiancé to be present stems from a deep-seated need for reassurance and security during an unfamiliar journey toward childbirth. Conversely, the fiancé’s decision to prioritize a golf trip, albeit with a practical justification regarding timing, appears to overlook the emotional significance of the moment for his partner. This imbalance in expectations underscores a common challenge in relationships: aligning individual desires with shared goals.

Broadening this discussion, the scenario touches on larger societal themes regarding the evolving roles in relationships, especially in the context of parenthood. In today’s fast-paced world, partners often struggle to balance personal interests with joint responsibilities. Recent studies have shown that relationship satisfaction is strongly linked to mutual support during key transitional life events. As Dr. John Gottman explains, “Bids for connection are the currency of love. Ignoring them, especially in critical moments, can cause lasting harm.” This insight, sourced from extensive research published on the Gottman Institute’s platform , encourages couples to appreciate and reciprocate emotional offerings during times of need.

Taking Dr. Gottman’s advice to heart means acknowledging that small gestures of presence can have an immense impact on the emotional bond of a couple. The evidence suggests that prioritizing shared experiences, especially during major life changes like childbirth, can fortify trust and mutual care. Partners are urged to communicate their needs openly and work together on compromise. Ultimately, navigating these delicate situations requires honest dialogue, empathy, and a willingness to adjust personal schedules in favor of collective well-being.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

A concise roundup of opinions from the Reddit community reveals a strong consensus: many condemn the fiancé’s plan, arguing that personal leisure should not come at the expense of emotional support during such a critical time. Most commenters emphasize that unwavering presence during pregnancy is essential, with a few injecting humor to underline the absurdity of the situation. In essence, the community agrees that prioritizing a golf trip over crucial support during labor is both insensitive and short-sighted.

Sea_Voice_404 − You are definitely NTA. And for the anecdotal sake, my son was a month early. Just because you have a due date doesn’t mean the baby is going to come exactly then. They could be early or late.

Geoginger93 − Im 8.5 months pregnant, healthy as a horse and my mobility is wayyyyyyyyy down. My husband always asks before he leaves if im okay to be home alone and if I have everything I need. Just the other morning I could barely roll out of bed because of how awkward my body shape is now. Leaving you to fend for yourself two weeks before your due date is a d**k move. He made a child with you but is more concerned about his friends schedules….. what a f**king d**k

lesliecarbone −

chez2202 − My labour was 2 hours 14 minutes. I hope he’s better at golf than biology.

Popular-Jaguar-3803 − My two sons were two weeks early. Both first pregnancy. Daughter was 6 weeks early, almost 12. I know of friends and family have a very short labor. I mean under two hours.. Just tell him that he has your blessing to go, however, there will be consequences if things happen. 1- if you go into labor, you will be taking that time to call the Uber driver or your friend to come and take you, or drive yourself in.

2- you will not notify him that you are in labor, because you know that his friends and playing golf is much more important than you and the baby. 3- when you deliver, you will forgo him signing the birth certificate and baby gets and will keep your last name. This way, it will always remind him of how he sets his priorities.. 4- no, his mother is not allowed to be in the labor room with you nor in the hospital.

6- you will not answer any of his calls while he is having his fun with his friends who seem to take priority over you. So, he will continue to guess if you are home, at the hospital. 7- when he leaves, you pack a bag, and you stay at some hotel, close to the hospital. If he tracks you on your phone, turn it off. And 5- this will also lead you to take the time to consider if he is the right boy who may one day turn into a man for you.

I tell you, men spend 15 minutes of his fun and pleasure, where the woman carries for 9 months, heartburn, lack of sleep, morning sickness, labor pains and pushing a human out of their body, or c-section. Take 6 weeks to recover while his family boundary stomp all over you. All this for their time of 15 minutes.

teamglider − NTA. If you're 24 weeks pregnant, there are a f**king *abundance* of other weekends he can choose before the one month point. Remind baby boy that he's about to have a baby. It's time to cowboy up. If that's somehow the one and only magical weekend that works for everyone, then he doesn't get to go on a golfing weekend before the baby comes. Simple.

My husband would tell his friend he's insane if he knew the dates, and that no trip would be happening. idk if your husband's buddies have any sense or not, though. If you've been being nice about this, stop. Tell him the person who's growing the baby and pushing it out gets to decide what works,

and a weekend away two weeks before the due date doesn't freaking work. Tell him it will hurt you deeply, and it's the kind of thing you are never going to forget.. If he doesn't budge, then start plotting your revenge and planning your exit.. When he wants to have s**, tell him the timing just isn't going to work for you.

aftercloudia − he's telling you who he is, listen to him.

[Reddit User] − My wife’s 1cm dilated at 37 weeks.. That’s going to be a NO from me.. Her due date is May 9th lol. We’re two weeks out.. He’s fuckin nuts..my wife can’t even move around. I have to help her position around all night.. She can’t even pick up our 2 year old anymore. Hasn’t for a while now.. Man, HELL NO WTF

StunnedinTheSuburbs − ‘He doesn’t think the dates work for his friends.’. Well you better check, honey, because the other dates don’t work for your partner and child.

Elegant_Cockroach430 − He is waving a red flag at you. I'm not sure if he cares if he is at the birth or not.. Move out, get a better support system. Then he can golf whenever. Compromise reach.. He's being a d**k. I'm sorry you're going through this.

The conflict between personal freedom and relationship support during pivotal moments can be a real test of a couple’s bond. It raises important questions about prioritizing practical plans versus emotional needs. What do you think constitutes a fair compromise in such situations? Share your experiences, feelings, and insights. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar predicament?

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