AITAH for not telling my older sister about our parents moving house after she left us?

One day, a 19-year-old woman received a message from her older sister, Sarah, who had vanished from their lives for three years after a family feud. The fallout left their parents heartbroken, with their mother in tears and their stepfather wrestling with regret. Meanwhile, the young woman, caught in the emotional crossfire, helped her parents navigate their grief and eventually move to a new home. Sarah, unaware of the change, showed up at their old address, only to find strangers.

Her return stirred up old wounds, leading to a fiery exchange. Feeling hurt and embarrassed, Sarah accused her family of moving on without her. But was it fair for her to expect updates after cutting everyone off?

‘AITAH for not telling my older sister about our parents moving house after she left us?’

The saga began with a rift that shattered the family’s harmony, leaving lingering pain.

I 19f and my sister Sarah 22f have not been in good terms recently. She and my parents got into a fight about something I was never told about and...

I then had to deal with a depressed mother and step dad for years until they decided to move house.

While Sarah was gone, life went on, marked by a significant move to a new home.

I helped them pick out the place and helped tnem move in and decorate. I had already moved out at this time for college. Well Sarah recently tried to go...

Sarah’s sudden reappearance brought emotions to a boiling point, sparking a tense confrontation.

She eventually unblocked me saying how embarrassed she was and how hurt she is that we all moved on. I responded with the following: "You left us after an argument...

And no mom and dad haven't moved on as mom still cries about you and dad still laments that he could have done better in the arguement and that he...

She starts saying how she wants to make things right. I told her "maybe unblock mom and dad first instead of me." I then blocked her.. But now I feel...

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When a family member cuts off contact, is it fair for them to resent the family for moving forward? Sarah’s decision to block everyone after a mysterious argument left her sister and parents grappling with emotional fallout. The younger sister bore the weight of supporting her grieving parents, who were devastated by Sarah’s absence.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Healthy family relationships thrive on mutual communication and respect” (The Gottman Institute, 2020). Sarah’s choice to sever ties suggests a breakdown in this dynamic, making it unreasonable for her to expect updates on major changes like a move.

On the flip side, the younger sister’s sharp response, while understandable, might have slammed the door on reconciliation. Sarah’s outreach, though poorly executed by contacting only her sister, could signal genuine remorse. Society often expects families to stay connected, but when someone isolates themselves, the burden of keeping them informed shouldn’t fall on those left behind. Alongside this, blocking Sarah in return may have been a way to protect her own peace, though it risks deepening the rift.

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The advice? The younger sister might consider reopening communication, but with clear boundaries. Sarah needs to take responsibility by apologizing and reaching out to their parents directly. A facilitated family conversation could help everyone air their feelings honestly. This doesn’t mean immediate forgiveness, but rather a chance to heal if all parties are willing.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Social media buzzed with opinions, offering a mix of empathy, humor, and pointed critiques about Sarah’s actions.

Many users rallied behind the younger sister, arguing Sarah had no right to complain after ghosting her family.

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LeoPines_12 − NTA, kiddo, sadly I went through the same around the same time: my older sister just. ..ignored me and shunned me out after an argument she had with...

At first I tried so, so, so hard to go after her love cause I missed her, but eventually, after abandoning me and dropping all the responsibilities and becoming the...

my breaking point came when she just talked to me to get her an old book of hers, to ask my mom money, and to tell me "you're the reason...

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you're colatheral damage and a minor loss", I just...snapped, similarly to what you did, "You could have visited me for YEARS, I sent you messages and invitations paid for years...

TIME, just admit you don't give a crap about anyone else that's not you". Protect your peace, kid. Your sister can have her problems with your parents, but cutting you...

kukonimz − NTA. This is between your sister and your parents. No one clued you in on the fight and it’s not fair to drag you in now. You’re right...

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FitOrFat-1999 − NTA. Sarah needs to talk to your parents about this, not you. And she has a hell of a nerve talking about how "embarrassed and hurt" she is...

A few voices urged the younger sister to leave room for Sarah to make amends, provided she’s sincere.

Difficult-Coffee6402 − Well I’m older so my perspective might be a bit different than others. I have a 19 year old daughter and I would also be crying every day...

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I’m sure this has been REALLY hard on your parents, and on you too of course. If she is remorseful and wants to make amends, I wouldn’t close the door...

Hopefully she is genuine and will apologize to everyone, and it would bring your parents so much peace. It must be tearing them up so much. Edit: but to answer,...

Some users couldn’t resist poking fun at the absurdity of Sarah’s expectations, while others questioned her intentions.

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grayblue_grrl − NTA. .. How people expect you to tell them things when they have blocked you is always a wild thought process.

PapaSmurf11232 − ". ..I'm offended because no one told me even though I had blocked everyone. .." NTA kiddo

whatsy0urdamage − NTA. I get it must be hard for her to come back to the house after all of that conflict and all of that time and to be...

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OpportunityCalm6825 − She must have something she wanted. NTA. She started it all.

[Reddit User] − Did she tell you what the argument was about?

These witty remarks underscore the illogical complaint from Sarah, while one user’s question about the argument hints at curiosity about the deeper story. Beyond that, the community agrees the younger sister’s reaction was justified, but her next steps could shape the family’s future.

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Family conflicts can leave lasting scars, but setting boundaries doesn’t mean shutting the door forever. Sarah must own her actions, yet a small gesture of openness from her sister could spark healing. Do you think the younger sister should give Sarah a chance to explain? If a family member cut you off, how would you handle their return?

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