Aitah for not realising what I put my wife through?
A new dad stumbles home at 9 p.m., buzzed from drinks with coworkers, only to face his wife’s fury. At 21, she’s juggling their two-month-old daughter alone, exhausted from sleepless nights and endless feedings. His 14-hour workdays, once a plan to support their growing family, now feel like abandonment to her.
This Reddit saga, amplified by the wife’s own raw response, dives into the chaos of new parenthood. Can he see past his paycheck to her plea for help? Let’s unpack this emotional storm with Reddit’s takes and expert insights.
‘Aitah for not realising what I put my wife through?’
New parenthood tests even the strongest partnerships, and this couple’s struggle screams miscommunication. The husband’s long hours and night out left his wife feeling like a single mom, a dynamic Dr. Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist, calls a “recipe for resentment” . Postpartum moms often face intense isolation, with 54% reporting loneliness in a 2023 study. The wife’s frustration isn’t just hormonal—it’s a cry for partnership.
The husband’s choice to prioritize work, even unpaid overtime, over paternity leave or helping at home dismisses her burden. His assumption about her “hormones” further invalidates her struggle, a common misstep Gottlieb notes can deepen rifts. The wife’s Reddit response reveals she’s been begging for help since her C-section, yet he brushes it off.
Gottman’s research on couples suggests small, consistent acts—like taking the baby to let her sleep—build trust. He could start by cutting hours and sharing nighttime duties.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit’s takes on this new-dad drama are sharper than a diaper pin. Here’s what the community had to say:
![[Reddit User] - Wow, YTA. You still don't get it. You don't seem to understand that this baby is your responsibility, too. From the sounds of it, you're working a lot of extra hours by choice, not out of necessity. Then you go out drinking without even thinking about your family.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/241056cm-15.png)
![[Reddit User] - YTA Babies can be difficult for young mothers. Your job doesn't need you, it will replace you the second it's convenient.. You're destroying your family because you think financial security is all you are responsible for.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/241056cm-22.png)
These fiery opinions, especially the wife’s clapback, don’t hold back. But do they cut to the heart of this family’s struggle?
This tale of a new dad’s absence shows how quickly priorities can fracture a family. His wife’s exhaustion isn’t just about one late night—it’s a plea for him to step up as a partner. New parenthood demands teamwork, not solo missions. How would you support a struggling spouse in those chaotic early months? Drop your thoughts below and let’s talk about balancing love, work, and babies!
