AITAH for not picking my nephew up from daycare when he is sick?

A tense phone call from a struggling sister sets the stage for a family standoff that’s as relatable as it is thorny. Picture a young person, lounging on a rare summer break day, when their sister demands they drop everything to pick up a feverish nephew from daycare. The catch? They’re days away from a long-planned trip with friends, and catching a bug could derail it all. The sister’s plea escalates into a heated exchange, leaving hurt feelings and unanswered calls in its wake.

This story tugs at the heartstrings of anyone who’s juggled family loyalty with personal plans. It’s a snapshot of modern family life—where love and obligation collide with self-preservation. Readers might feel the sting of the sister’s frustration but also the weight of the protagonist’s dilemma. Who’s right in this clash of priorities? The Reddit community has plenty to say, and the debate is as fiery as a summer fever.

‘AITAH for not picking my nephew up from daycare when he is sick?’

My sister called me to me to pick up her son from daycare and watch him because he was sick and had a fever and she couldn't afford to take time off work or the fees for him staying at daycare while sick.

She called me because I am on summer break and wasn't doing anything today. Which is true I'm not doing anything today, but I'm going on a trip with my friends in a couple days. I get sick really easily and don't want to be sick and have to cancel my trip.

My sister just said I would probably get sick when she brings him home anyway. I said I would go stay at my dad's house then and she said I was being a selfish b**ch. So I hung up on her and have ignored her other calls. AITAH here? or is she?

Update: My sister ended up leaving her son at daycare. She found out it’s going to cost her her whole days pay in daycare fees, so she’s really mad at me. So I’m going to stay at my dads place until I go on my trip. My mom actually says it’s a good idea and we should just have a little space from each other and she’ll get over it. Which is surprising because I thought for sure she’d take my sisters side.

This family feud over a sick child reveals the tricky balance of personal boundaries and familial duty. The protagonist’s refusal to risk their health for their nephew’s care sparked a heated argument, with both sides digging in. The sister, stretched thin by work and daycare costs, sees her sibling’s free time as an open invitation to help. Meanwhile, the protagonist prioritizes their health and plans, unwilling to bear the burden of someone else’s responsibility.

Family dynamics often hinge on unspoken expectations. According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 68% of adults report stress from family caregiving demands (American Psychological Association). The sister’s frustration is understandable—she’s caught in the grind of single parenting—but her harsh words alienate her sibling. The protagonist, likely young, faces pressure to step up despite valid concerns about their trip and health.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “Healthy boundaries in families require clear communication and mutual respect” (Gottman Institute). Here, the sister’s demands bypass the protagonist’s autonomy, escalating tension. The protagonist’s choice to stay with their dad shows a practical boundary, but hanging up mid-fight avoids addressing the root issue. Both parties could benefit from calmer dialogue to clarify expectations.

To navigate this, the protagonist could offer alternative help, like covering part of the daycare fee or suggesting another caregiver. The sister, in turn, should plan for emergencies, as relying on a reluctant sibling isn’t sustainable. Setting boundaries with empathy—acknowledging the sister’s stress while standing firm—could mend this rift. Families thrive when duties are shared, not demanded, fostering cooperation over conflict.

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See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of support and shade with their trademark candor. From cheers for the protagonist’s boundaries to jabs at the sister’s planning, the comments are a lively barbecue of opinions. Here’s what the community had to say:

Affectionate-Fox5283 − Wait if your parents still have joint custody of you then you might not have been legally allowed to pick your nephew up. Any daycare I've ever use and I have kids ranging from 14-2 then pick up people ha e had to be 18+ and this is in a span of 5 different states.

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daninerd85 − All of you saying OP is the AH, shame on you. From what it sounds like, OP is a minor, so regardless of the situation, it shouldn't be on them to watch someone else's child. Just because it's their nephew doesn't matter. The kids' mom needs to make other arrangements.. NTA

pigandpom − NTA. It actually grinds my gears reading about all the parents who seem to think other family members should look after their kids 'because you're not busy' just because someone isn't busy it doesn't mean they want to look after your kid.

VioletB2000 − OP, how old are you and how old is your sister?

[Reddit User] − NTA you literally have a reason to avoid getting sick. I don’t get these comments. If it was Covid or something you were trying to avoid they would be on your side. You were going on a trip that you had planned for and probably spent quite a bit of money, of course you don’t want to get sick.

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This is not your kid and not your responsibility. If you didn’t plan on going anywhere and it wouldn’t be too big of a deal if you got sick, then I still wouldn’t think you’re an AH for not wanting to

princess_tatsumi − nta- people often confuse free time with availability and it's not okay. just because you aren't doing anything doesn't mean you're open to doing things for others for their convenience. ops sister should've been more responsible and had an emergency contact/back up plan,

especially since she more than likely knew the kid was sick before he went in and still sent him. not to mention, op is a minor and more than likely wouldn't have been able to pick the kid up legally anyway.

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DogsAreTheBest36 − Where's the dad? Her decision to have the baby doesn't require you, a teenager, to be sick. Having a baby is hard, but it's a responsibility she chose. If you can help her, great, but your reason is valid. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA - You're a minor, she's the parent here. She can either handle it, or find a wealthy stepdad for her kids that can pay like another AITA post here.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Even if you didn’t care about getting sick, that’s not your kid.

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TerrifiedSquid − NTA - Essentially her kid, her responsibility. You're under no obligation to take care of someone else's kid, ever.. Would it have been the NICE thing to do? Yes. Are you a selfish b**ch for not wanting to take care of a sick kid or risk losing out on a trip you'd planned? No.

These Redditors rallied around the protagonist’s right to say no, with many pointing out the sister’s lack of backup plans. Some questioned the dad’s absence, while others debated the protagonist’s age and legal ability to help. But do these spicy takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the family fire?

This tale of family friction shows how quickly love and duty can spark into conflict. The protagonist’s stand for their health and plans clashes with their sister’s desperate need, leaving both feeling burned. It’s a reminder that family ties don’t mean automatic obligations—clear boundaries and planning are key. What would you do if you were caught between a sick kid and a dream trip? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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