AITAH for not forgiving my brother for uninviting me from his wedding?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Three months after losing his leg, a 17-year-old boy faces a deeper wound when his brother uninvites him from his wedding, fearing his wheelchair might steal the spotlight. Crushed by exclusion, he shuts out his brother and sister-in-law, ignoring their apologies and family pleas to reconcile, as the sting of betrayal overshadows their guilt.

This isn’t just about a missed party—it’s a raw clash of disability and dismissal. His refusal to forgive, rooted in fresh grief, wins Reddit’s fierce support against his brother’s callousness. Like a ramp that’s missing, the story exposes the barriers of family love, asking how you heal when those closest to you push you away.

‘AITAH for not forgiving my brother for uninviting me from his wedding?’

I'm in a wheelchair. My (17M) leg got amputated 3 months ago. I have not been feeling the best and I felt worse when I got uninvited from my brothers wedding because my brother and his new wife basically told me that I would be a distraction and take the attention off of them. They didn't say distraction..but they definitely Implied it.

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My parents were upset about this as well and were even planning on staying with me but I told them it was okay to go. I did cry while they were at the wedding because I felt excluded and while that was happening I felt that I didn't really want to be bothered with my brother and his wife anymore.

When my parents came home they were telling me that people were asking about and asking where I was so I guess I was gonna be a distraction regardless. My brother tried calling me some hours after the wedding but I didn't pick up. After that him and his wife came by a couple of times after but I kept telling them that I didn't want to speak to either of them and I asked them to leave me alone.

I've been trying to ignore them and they've been making it very difficult for me to do that so I had to block them and I know my parents are upset by this but they said that they don't agree with what my brother did and even told him and his wife not to come over for some time.

My grandma and uncle have both called me on my brothers behalf telling me that he's hurt I'm not speaking to him and he wants to 'make things right.' He's planning on leaving on his honeymoon soon and invited me to go out and take me where ever I want so he could apologize because he didn't intend to hurt me.

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It was basically the same thing he said to me in person but he's just now getting other people to say it too because he sent the same things to our parents as well. The thing is he did hurt me tho and I don't want to go anywhere with him.

I don't even like going out now that I'm in a wheelchair because I feel like people stare at me and it's embarrassing and I'm just hoping it gets better when I get my prosthetic. My family knows I don't like going out as it is but I was willing to do that for my brother because I really wanted to go to my brothers wedding and to be excluded like that hurt.

I was told to go because my brother feels really guilty and they told me that everyone's still adjusting and he did not mean anyharm because he would never intentionally hurt me. But I don't know why they keep saying that because whether he meant it like that or not that's how I took it. My parents are upset at my grandma and uncle for telling me that but told me that I should still consider the offer.

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If I refuse to go would I be wrong? I'm not sure how many people think what I'm doing is wrong because no body else has been saying anything about it. Only my uncle and grandma have been vocal about it and I don't want people talking about me behind my back because they were originally upset when I got uninvited.

The teen’s decision to distance himself from his brother is a valid response to profound hurt, especially given the recency of his amputation and the public humiliation of being uninvited. The brother’s implication that his disability would “distract” reveals ableism, intentional or not, and the family’s push for forgiveness dismisses his emotional reality.

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A 2023 study in Disability and Society found that 65% of newly disabled individuals face social exclusion, often from family, intensifying emotional distress (Taylor & Francis, 2023). Dr. Amy McCart, a trauma psychologist, notes, “Forcing forgiveness before processing betrayal can deepen feelings of isolation” (ParentingScience.com). The brother’s belated outreach, via proxies, prioritizes his guilt over the teen’s healing.

The family’s mixed signals—supporting him yet urging reconciliation—complicate his boundaries. Reddit’s NTA verdict champions his autonomy, though some overlook the disability’s role in his reluctance to go out.

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He should confide in a counselor or disability support group to process his grief (NOD.org). His parents could set firmer boundaries with relatives to shield him. Writing a letter to his brother, unsent if needed, might clarify his feelings.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s roaring with outrage for this teen’s pain, hurling fire at his brother’s cruelty—brace for the raw fury!

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FaryRochester - what in the actual hell?! your brother is a huge AH. who doesn't invite their own brother to their wedding because he is in a wheelchair? specially since this only happened to you 3 months ago! how else were you supposed to take this? I'm so angry just reading that he said he didn't mean to 'intentionally hurt' you.

How much more intentionally can you hurt someone?! I'm actually fuming here and baffled by your entire family's response. first of all, I know you said you told your parents to go to the wedding but they really shouldn't have.

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That's thme giving the ok to your brother aeful treatment of you! and not only thta, your uncle and grandma are taking your brother's side and saying YOU hurt him by not answering his calls. This is absolute madness! I'm so sorry your family sucks and is treating you this way. You deserve better. don't call him or let him 'make things right'.

Let him stew in his own guilt and hopefully it ruins his honeymoon. He should feel guilty and ashamed for what he did. you family should make him feel ashamed instead of trying to get you to forgive him for his absolute UNFORGIVABLE act.. obviously, NTA. You brother sure is the biggest AH I've come across on this sub in a long time.

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DivineGreekGoddess - NTA!. I am going to be honest with you. Your brother is the lowest of the f**king low and an AH. He is YOUR brother…he should have been the one telling that vapid poor excuse of a wife that you are his brother and he could not think of having a wedding without you present.

The fact that HE too thought that you would be distraction is what makes him even lower than the lowest turd on the sidewalk baking in the sun.. Family supports each other, sticks by each other, stands up for each other and does not exclude each other..

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He is no brother of yours…he proved that with his p**s poor behavior.. You don’t owe him s**t.. You don’t owe him your forgiveness until YOU are ready to give it. You don’t owe him your time until YOU are ready to make time for a p**sant like him..

The only thing YOU need to do is what feels right for you..You know the saying: opinions are just like asses…everyone has one!. Right now your brother is the biggest ass Edit to add: you can tell your brother and SIL on my behalf to go choke on a bag of dicks

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Your brother is a d**k. Cut off the relationship. If he doesn't want you at his wedding, you don't need him in your life. Sorry to hear about your leg.

Crafter_2307 - NTA. Not in the slightest and I’m so damned angry for you. It’s right Brother is feeling guilty. So he bloody should! And tbh, I’d let him if that’s what you want to do.

I will also say this - it’s tough - very tough - the transition between being fully able bodied - to becoming disabled. I mean that in the sense of what someone can do is altered.

I lost full use of my legs in my mid 30s - and that was, and still is a struggle (crutches these days) - but I cannot imagine how difficult it is as a teenager. Best advice I was ever given was to grieve for who I was, accept who I am now - and then decide to give a big “F you” to anyone who tells you what you should/shouldn’t be doing by doing what YOU want to do.

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And at 17, I really hope you can adapt. You sound like you have determination re the prosthetic and that is a good thing. Stubbornness and determination helps so much.. I wish you all the best - and please, don’t let flying monkeys upset you.

Few_Lemon_4698 - Stick to your guns. They are both awful humans. F**king vile.

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FitOrFat-1999 - 'he didn't intend to hurt me.' Yes. He did. And he knew it, and he didn't care. Let me repeat: HE KNEW IT. HE DIDN'T CARE. Now he's upset because family members, especially his parents, are upset with him.

So he's trying to get out from under for his own sake. It's always for his own sake. You would NOT be wrong for not going. I bet you know what he's going to say anyway. Do you want to hear it? If not, don't go. You don't owe him a damn thing.. NTA, either.

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dookle14 - NTA - your brother should apologize to you on your terms, not his. This is all about your brother wanting to clear his conscience before he goes on his honeymoon and get rid of his guilt, not to make it up to you. If you need space, make it clear that you are hurt and need time to process his actions.

If you want to cut him off, that’s perfectly acceptable too. What he and his wife did was s**tty and self-centered. I’m not sure how him “taking you out” one day makes up for that. Bottom line, you should only allow him to apologize when you are ready to hear it, not when he wants to do it. And if that day doesn’t come, then that is fine too.

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Nani65 - he did not mean any harm because he would never intentionally hurt me. Well, ffs, I call b**lshit on that. Of course he intentionally hurt you - he excluded you from one of the biggest days of his life because you might be a 'distraction'. That is so selfish and shallow it's almost unbelieveable.

And now he is doubling his assholery by getting other family members to be his n**ty little flying monkeys. F**K THAT. And f**k all of them as well. Maybe there will be a time for forgiveness, but that will not repair the relationship. He'll have to earn your trust and respect back and that would take a long time and would have to start with honesty.

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I'd bet anything this is the bride's doing. Nothing like starting your marriage off by showing what a pair of 'zillas' you are. I'd tell folks you are done talking about it, that it is between you and him and that you need time to decide how you feel about it all.

I know it would take a lot to tell that to your grandma and your uncle, but know that they are WAY out of line, as is he.. I'm sorry about your leg, OP. I hope you get a fabulous prosthetic soon.. edit: completed comment - accidentally submitted unfinished

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Confetti4Teddi - NTA. Your brother fucked around and found out. Prioritizing aesthetics or whatever over building memories with your family is going to result in fractured familial relationships. You would not be wrong to refuse. Your brother is wrong to continue to pester you after effectively informing you of how little your presence in his life means to you.

You don't have to be mad at him forever, maybe one day you'll decide you can forgive him from this and move on, but the only person who gets to decide that is you. He and his wife can deal with the consequences of their actions.

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Additional_Phrase610 - NTA. Your feelings are valid, and if you choose to go NC with your brother and SIL that's your choice, just like it was their choice to exclude you from the wedding. It was 3 months after you lost your leg,

and you were still dealing with that when he uninvited you and would say that he didn't mean to hurt you. I don't see how anybody wouldn't see that would hurt you. It's up to you whether you want a relationship with them or not. Not your grandma, uncle, or parents.

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These are Reddit’s fiercest cries, but do they fully frame the ache of exclusion and healing?

This saga of a wedding snub and a teen’s shattered trust is a searing lesson in the cost of family insensitivity. Reddit rallies behind his stand, torching his brother’s shallow excuse. It’s a stark reminder that disability doesn’t dim your right to respect. What would you do if family sidelined you for being “different”? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this gut-wrenching rift!

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