AITAH for not finishing my drink after my friends kid backwashed in it?

In a cozy dining room filled with the chatter of a dinner party, a 22-year-old woman enjoyed a rare non-alcoholic mango juice among friends. Her friend Clara, a 24-year-old mother, held her fussy 2-year-old son, who reached for the juice. The woman kindly helped him drink, but his backwash left her with an empty stomach for the rest, her aversion to sharing cups kicking in.

The evening took a turn when Clara pressed her to finish the drink, turning a simple preference into a point of contention. Clara’s later accusation that she made her son feel dirty left the woman stunned, sparking an awkward silence. As the night ended with Clara’s cold shoulder, the woman wondered if her boundary crossed a line.

‘AITAH for not finishing my drink after my friends kid backwashed in it?’

I (22F) have a friend Clara (24F) who has a son (2M). Clara invited me and some other friends over for dinner. During dinner, Clara was feeding her son who was sitting on her lap. He got really fussy and kept reaching out for my drink.

It was mango juice and I was the only one not drinking alcohol so when Clara didn’t stop him from reaching for it, I picked up the cup and helped him drink it. He backwashed quite a lot, as kids do. There was just a sip or two left in the cup and I couldn’t bring myself to drink it.

I’m very easily grossed out and can’t share a straw or cup with anyone let alone drink something that’s been backwashed. I’ve always been like this. I put the cup back down near Clara when he was done and continued eating. Clara pushed the cup towards me and I said “oh I’ve had enough don’t worry, he can finish it if he wants to”.

Clara chuckled and said “don’t tell me you still can’t share a cup with people. Not even with a child?”. I chuckled awkwardly and changed the topic. She pushed the glass to me about 20 minutes later and asked if I wanted more, to which I replied “no thanks”.

While we were cleaning up after dinner, she asked if I really had to make her son feel dirty. I looked at her confused and asked how exactly I made her son feel anything? He’s 2. It’s not like he’ll know I didn’t finish my drink just because he drank from my glass.

She just shrugged and said it’s rude to be so inflexible about such minor things. I was so exhausted and sleepy at this point that I didn’t even bother try argue or explain myself tbh. I just said I’m sorry I offended her. She’s been ignoring me since. I genuinely don’t know if this was terrible of me. AITAH?

Personal boundaries are vital in social settings, especially when hygiene is involved. The woman’s refusal to drink after her friend’s son backwashed reflects a legitimate discomfort, not a slight against the child. Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen states, “Respecting one’s own limits is healthy, even if others perceive it as rude” . Clara’s push to finish the drink ignored this.

The conflict highlights a clash of expectations, with Clara viewing the refusal as inflexible. A 2023 study in Journal of Social Psychology notes that differing hygiene standards can strain friendships if not addressed with empathy . The toddler’s age makes him prone to germs, supporting the woman’s stance.

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Dr. Hendriksen suggests clear communication to maintain harmony. The woman’s apology, though tired, was a step toward de-escalation, though Clara’s ongoing silence shows unresolved tension. A firmer yet polite explanation might have clarified her position without fueling drama.

For the woman, reinforcing her boundaries with Clara could prevent future friction. For friends in similar spots, mutual respect for personal limits can preserve relationships. Her sensitivity isn’t a flaw but a trait to navigate with care.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s community firmly supports the woman, deeming her NTA for not drinking toddler backwash. They criticize Clara’s overreaction, noting toddlers are naturally messy, and her push was unreasonable.

The consensus praises the woman’s kindness in helping the child but defends her right to refuse. Redditors suggest distancing from Clara if her drama persists, emphasizing hygiene boundaries are valid.

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Just_Trash2022 - NTA I won’t even drink after my 2 year old.🤢

Particular_Analyst31 - You have the choice to finish your drink- wether or not the 2 year old drank from it. NTAH!!!!

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dodoatsandwiggets - She just wants to be offended. I wouldn’t drink after my 2 yr old back then either.

Aoeletta - Lol if she stays offended or reacts like this to things frequently you should drop her as a friend.. This is not a reasonable perspective or stance for her to take.. Also, f**k that “you made him feel dirty! It’s rude!”

noooooooope. He IS dirty, he’s a toddler, and it’s NOT rude to not share your beverages. You literally were kind and helpful and shared with the child and made no fuss simply didn’t want to drink toddler spit.. Ask her why she wants you to drink her toddlers saliva if she still freaks out.. Sincerely, this is crazy on her side.. NTA

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[Reddit User] - NTA and her son has no feelings about it.

Nogardenfairies - Easy one. NTA. Don't waste a second's thought on it. Your friend is out of line.

Existing_Winter5679 - Has Clara always been a drama Queen? If she can't drop it and shut up about it, I'd stop talking to her altogether. Nobody wants her toddler backwash smoothie.

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LearnsFromExperience - 'Not even with a child?!?' Is Clara smoking crack? Kids are filthy. This is coming from a father of two. The s**t I've seen my kids put in their mouths and handle with their hands (and then put in their mouths) make me gag to think of sharing any food or beverage with one of them. And I don't have any drink sharing issues. NTA.

[Reddit User] - NTA it’s disgusting. If someone tries for my drink I tell them no. Mainly because I have Hpilori. It’s a very contagious stomach virus that eats a whole through the lining.

It creates stomach ulcers and if not caught and treated in time will cause stomach cancer. I have a new strain that has no cure and can only be treated until it goes dormant. I can’t share drinks or food or kiss or have s** because it’s transferred through bodily fluids.

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CaptainFresh27 - NTA. Two year olds ARE dirty, and it's not your responsibility to drink her child's backwash to appease the child, the mother, or anyone else. I'd just remind her that she's being unreasonable and she can parent her child however she chooses but you don't have to join in

As the dinner table tension lingers, the woman’s choice underscores the importance of personal boundaries. It’s a reminder that small preferences can spark big debates. How do you handle friends pressuring you over personal limits? Share your stories below—let’s spark a conversation!

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