AITAH for not feeling sad my half brother and sister died in an accident?

For one teenager, family was never a place of safety or belonging. Born from an affair he had no control over, he grew up surrounded by people who made sure he never forgot that he was unwanted. While his half-siblings lived comfortably and were publicly celebrated, he existed on the sidelines, tolerated only enough to preserve appearances.

Years later, tragedy struck when two of those half-siblings died in a devastating accident. As the rest of the family collapsed into grief, the teen noticed something unsettling about himself: he felt nothing. That emotional void, once exposed during a tense family gathering, sparked outrage and harsh words. When he shared his story on social media, readers quickly weighed in on whether emotional numbness after years of mistreatment makes someone heartless, or simply human.

AITAH for not feeling sad my half brother and sister died in an accident?

From the very beginning, the poster explains how his place in the family was defined by rejection

I 16M am the result of dad’s affair on his wife, my biological mother wanted nothing to do with me at all but a__rtion was illegal in my country so...

he didn’t want his son ending up in the system so he took me in. He was an older man in his late 40s when I was born and he...

They and their mother always hated me and verbally and physically abused me, they took yearly family vacations but never included me in anything,

they never got me anything just the bare minimum as to not ruin their public image, while my half siblings got brand new BMWs and Mercedes

and iPhones I got the most budget Samsung A phone out and it’d always be s__t and probably last 10 months before crashing out and they expected me to be...

Over time, neglect becomes routine while apologies replace real protection

My dad always knew about this and he’d always just hug me and apologise for it but says he feels horrible about cheating on his wife and he fears standing...

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and ruin their family and public image, whenever they’d go on a family vacation that almost always is two weeks if not more he’d drop me off at his parents...

and pretend to be sorry and he apologises before going and forgetting about me and living his best life with his real family

and they’d make sure they’d send a million pictures of everything they do to the group chat that I’m in specifically to hurt me because I know they have a...

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A sudden tragedy changes everything, but not in the way the family expects

About three months ago my dad bought a brand new Tesla model 3 performance to my sister for her 28th birthday, it was the first electric car in the house...

and it was really fast, when dad surprised her with it she obviously got happy and took it out on a test drive alongside my oldest brother, and they never...

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She couldn’t control it and she crashed into a tree, she fought in the hospital for a couple of days before eventually passing away while my brother died on the...

While the household collapses under grief, the poster feels emotionally blank

This obviously destroyed my entire family, dad is a shell of his former self and he barely talks now, he just cries himself to sleep every night, his wife isn’t...

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she even lashed out at him and physically beat him once and my brother and sister had to physically take her off of him and she’s been staying with her...

The only pain he truly feels is reserved for the innocent

And I just feel nothing. Yes I hated them but I don’t feel happy they died or sad. I just feel nothing, except for my brothers daughters, he had two...

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They always called me uncle and hugged me whenever they came over, and losing their dad definitely destroyed them and I do feel sad for them,

but their mom is married to someone else since their parents got divorced over 6 years ago and they say he treats them good and that they love him which...

A confrontation forces him to finally say what he has always felt

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Last night my remaining brother and sister came over with their spouses and families and they were talking and they talked about them and noticed that I wasn’t sad and...

they asked if I care at all about what happened and I said no I don’t, they all abused me both verbally and physically my whole life for something I...

or say in and if they expected me to mourn their deaths for months on end then they’re all delusional, I said the only ones I feel sorry for are...

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because they’ve always treated me like a normal person and that if they’ve treated me like the rest of the family then i would not have given a damn about...

They then called me a huge a__hole and a son of a whore, I told them I’m a son of two whores actually my mother and their dear sugar daddy.

And then I went and I’m now staying at my grandparent’s place.. But now I’ve been overthinking it, was I wrong for how I reacted or am I justified here?

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Emotional numbness after long-term abuse is not uncommon, especially in teenagers who never felt safe expressing emotions to begin with. When grief arrives for people who were also sources of pain, the mind often defaults to detachment as a form of self-protection. Feeling “nothing” does not mean someone lacks empathy; it often means they have already processed loss in other ways.

Psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson, known for her work on emotionally immature parents, explains that children raised in invalidating environments frequently shut down emotions to survive. In those cases, grief doesn’t arrive in familiar forms because the relationship itself was never emotionally secure. There is nothing to mourn when love was never present.

From the family’s perspective, their anger may stem from guilt rather than loss. Being confronted with indifference forces them to face how poorly they treated someone they now expect comfort from. That realization can be deeply unsettling, especially during a period of mourning.

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For the teen, the healthiest path forward is distance and support from people who treat him with basic respect. Therapy, trusted guardians, and stable relationships can help unpack years of suppressed emotion. Healing does not require forgiveness, and it certainly does not require performing grief on demand.

Check out how the community responded:

Many users strongly defended the poster, praising his honesty and resilience

AshleyBanksHitSingle − Oh my god, I’m so glad you got that “son of two whores” quip in! Think of it this way, they’re all abusive, horrid pieces of trash and...

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Growing up the way you did sounds horrible and borderline unbearable but your struggles made it so you’ve come out a better person and the way they lived have turned...

Or they’re dead. So looks like you actually won. Oh, NTA, obviously. If you weren’t able to acknowledge your true feelings

and had to pretend to yourself you feel bad it would make me more worried that perhaps they’d broken you. Glad you still have your self respect.

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Traditional_Film_636 − NTA. I am so sorry. What an awful upbringing for you. Any feelings you could have had about this accident were destroyed long ago by poisonous people.

IllustratorSlow1614 − NTA You weren’t gloating or dancing on their graves and neither were you actively mourning for people who hated you, you were quietly feeling nothing.

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They made a huge deal out of it when they could have left well alone. For you it’s like a couple of strangers died and your sympathy is for the...

angryomlette − NTA. What you showed was indifference and that hurt them the most. Had you showed sadness they would have probably made it your fault somehow.

Don't overthink it, you still have your grandparents who care for you. Make the best use of your time to be with them.

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Icky-Tree-Branch − NTA, and I’m livid for you. I have a stepson from an affair. I treat him like he’s mine. If my kids treated their half-brother the way your...

It’s immoral to punish a child for the sins of the parents. Fortunately, you’re already better than that and are kind to your late half-brother’s children.

Others focused on boundaries and long-term wellbeing

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TopAd7154 − NTA. Stay with your grandparents. Your father is horrible.

Silver6Rules − They treated you like absolute s__t and you're expected to mourn them and forget everything they did to you?

Death doesn't erase the past, and you aren't the a__hole for being indifferent to people who meant nothing to you. I would just give them space and let them grieve....

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badmind88 − NTA. I actually find you pretty damn level-headed for the kind of crap that family has been putting you through, for no fault of your own. You even...

PrincessBella1 − NTA. There was no love or relationship between you and your half siblings. While it is sad that they died, it doesn't affect you personally because you were...

A few reactions leaned into dark humor or blunt realism

Which-Inside-9777 − it's insane that they think they're entitled of empathy. This was a long-time coming: let's abuse a child born because our father is a weak pathetic man who...

they asked the right question at the most wrong moment, in another situation this could have been a wake-up call for them, about how the abused person here, feels nothing...

and the enablers, but nope, they saw someone quietly and peacefully not caring and they had to ask the worst question ever in the worst moment possible and even act...

Aegon2050 −  I told them I’m a son of two whores actually Absolute gigachad.

TheMightyMisanthrope − I have a pair of tap shoes and a thong to dance on top of my sister's grave if she goes first. I'll lend them to you friend....

fleet_and_flotilla − the fact they got called out on their s__t and still decided to s__t on you, just shows how awful they are as people. something they learned from...

why they think for one second you would mourn the death of two people who abused you is beyond me. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA, all kids who abuse their younger siblings are though. And they are usually defended on this sub. I don't know why Aitah usually sides with older...

I'm glad this isn't happening this time. You need to focus on other relationships. The less time you spend with these people the happier you will be

Right_Turnover490 − NTA. Sorry about the hand you were dealt, but you are stronger than those other assholes

This story highlights a harsh reality many people avoid acknowledging: grief cannot exist where love never did. After years of neglect and abuse, emotional numbness became this teen’s armor. While the family expected shared mourning, they ignored the damage done long before tragedy struck. His reaction may have been blunt, but it was rooted in truth and survival. So, when people who hurt you demand compassion, do you owe them anything at all?

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