AITAH for not allowing our son to visit my in laws anymore because they don’t feed him real food?
Imagine picking up your preschooler from a fun outing with his grandparents, only to discover he’s running on hot chocolate and a cinnamon roll all day. It sounds almost comical—like a cartoon sugar binge—until you realize your child is actually hungry, cranky, and facing a bedtime meltdown. That’s the predicament one Reddit mom (OP) deals with repeatedly. She’s thrilled her in-laws adore her son, but their idea of “spoiling” him goes a bit too far.
In this situation, the glaring question is: When does indulging a grandchild become outright negligence of basic dietary needs? For OP, it’s become a frustrating cycle—she trusts her in-laws for childcare, only to get back a sugared-up, undernourished kid. Feeling left with no choice, she’s decided to restrict visits, sparking a family face-off that puts her husband’s stance on the hot seat, too.
‘AITAH for not allowing our son to visit my in laws anymore because they don’t feed him real food?’
Feeding young children isn’t just about satisfying hunger—it’s a central part of fostering healthy development. From building strong bones to supporting cognitive growth, a balanced diet matters. In this Reddit family’s case, the boy’s grandparents seem to believe that treats are synonymous with love. But the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that while occasional sweets are okay, they should be part of a nutritional approach that prioritizes proteins, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.
Children under six, in particular, are at a key developmental stage. Overloading them with sugar without proper nutrition can lead to everything from disruptive mood swings to dental problems. According to the American Dental Association, frequent sugar intake, especially without a meal, can accelerate tooth decay. That means giving the child sweet drinks and candy as a primary “meal” can be detrimental both short-term and long-term.
On the emotional side, grandparents often want to “spoil” their grandchildren as an expression of affection. A slightly mischievous sweet treat after dinner usually won’t break the bank nutritionally. However, consistently replacing real meals with sugary snacks—and directly ignoring parents’ requests—crosses a boundary. It suggests a deeper problem: lack of respect for parental authority and potential unwillingness to adapt their behavior for the child’s well-being.
A middle ground could involve direct communication. OP and her husband might share guidelines or even provide easy meal options the grandparents could serve, like pre-packed sandwiches, fruit cups, or microwavable dinner portions. If the grandparents understand the “why” behind balanced meals, they might soften their stance. But if they remain dismissive and continue to feed the child nothing but candy and pastries, limiting visits (or at least mealtime visits) can be a legitimate step to safeguard the child’s health. After all, a well-fed child is typically a happier one—and fewer mealtime battles can help maintain positive grandparent-grandchild bonds.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Here’s a lighthearted sampling of what folks on Reddit have to say:
From accusations of “starving the poor kid” to calling out “sugar sabotage,” the online community certainly isn’t shy about weighing in. Some urge negotiation with the grandparents, others champion more drastic measures—clearly, this is a topic that strikes a chord!
In a perfect world, grandparents can lavish affection without disregarding a parent’s mealtime boundaries. Yet, when sweet indulgence replaces a proper meal, conflict becomes nearly unavoidable. Would you slam the brakes on these sugar-filled outings, or try a gentler approach with clear expectations and backup meal plans? Share your thoughts, experiences, and even your favorite “grandma’s kitchen” memories below. Your insights might just help another family find that elusive happy medium!
