AITAH for locking my credit card so my gf can no longer use it?
A father supporting his family financially decided to lock his credit card after his girlfriend, now back at work part-time, continued using it for personal expenses despite their agreement. He covers all major bills, including the house, utilities, insurance, and even professional cleaning, while she stays home with their young son and recently started earning again. The tension arose when she ignored his request to cover her own smaller costs like fast food and phone bills.
What makes the situation more complicated is the differing views on contributions— he sees childcare as her main role but not equivalent to full domestic labor, while she appears to expect continued full financial support from his higher income. This has led to accusations of him being controlling or dismissive, sparking a debate about fairness in uneven earning relationships with a child involved.
‘AITAH for locking my credit card so my gf can no longer use it?’
The couple welcomed a son, shifting roles where he became the sole provider while she stayed home.
Two months ago, she returned to part-time work, prompting a discussion about financial contributions.
The decision to lock the card led to confrontation, with differing views on household roles emerging.
Unequal incomes in relationships with children often create friction when expectations about money and labor aren’t clearly aligned from the start. In this scenario, the man has been generously covering all household expenses during her time as a stay-at-home parent, including providing a credit card for discretionary spending. Her return to work introduced a reasonable request for her to handle personal expenses, especially since he still shoulders major bills.
However, her continued use of his card suggests an entitlement mindset, where his higher earnings are viewed as shared while hers remain separate. This dynamic can breed resentment if one partner feels their contributions—financial or otherwise—are undervalued.
Counterarguments highlight potential issues in how domestic labor is perceived: childcare for a toddler is demanding and valuable, often undervalued in financial terms, and twice-monthly cleaning doesn’t cover daily maintenance like dishes, laundry, or errands. His tone implies dismissal of her role, which could indicate deeper disrespect in the partnership, particularly since they’re unmarried and finances aren’t joint.
Broader societal views on cohabitation, parenthood, and money emphasize the need for explicit agreements—some see separate finances as protective, others as divisive in family units. Ultimately, locking the card enforces a boundary but reveals underlying problems in communication and mutual appreciation that counseling or a shared budget might address better.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Many users sided with the poster, agreeing he’s reasonable to expect her to cover personal expenses now that she’s earning.
Several commenters pointed out flaws in the poster’s attitude toward childcare and household contributions.
A couple of users added lighter observations about housekeeping realities to highlight the everyday effort involved.
This story reveals common challenges in relationships where one partner earns significantly more, especially after parenthood shifts roles and then partially reverses. While expecting the working girlfriend to handle her personal spending seems fair given the ongoing full support for major bills, the underlying tone suggests tension over valuing childcare and unseen domestic work.
Have you been in a similar situation with uneven incomes and shared expenses—did separate finances help or hurt? How do you fairly divide money and labor when one person stays home with kids?
